Russell Clark's definitions

chunky dunking

Skinny dipping for the corpulent. Fat-assed exhibitionism.

That BBW wanted to go chunky dunking in the hot tub with me. I told her I would, but that I was afraid we'd have to take turns!

by Russell Clark May 30, 2006

extremiocrity

The characteristic of possessing talents, abilities and knowledge distributed so as to be exceptional in some areas, poor in others and mediocre in none.

George was the least well-rounded person you could imagine - a real study in extremiocrity!

by Russell Clark May 14, 2006

hedgling

A naive though usually amiable person who always tailors his or her opinions, tastes or behavior to suit the prevailing social group of the moment. A person whose social tendencies range from chameleon-like approval seeker to unwittingly disingenous. A person with a weak or poorly defined sense of self.

The youngest of the mayorial candidates was a real hedgling, seeming not to realize he had changed his stand on the issues after each interview.

by Russell Clark May 14, 2006

dumcumpster

A man who only has sex with cumdumpsters, usually out of necessity rather than prefernce.

Benny is a real dumcumpster who wouldn't get laid if it weren't for the drunken pursuit of buddies' discarded bobags.

by Russell Clark May 14, 2006

allegendly

According to a legendary retelling (of doubtful origin). As alleged in a likely heavily embellished story.

During the battle of Iwo Jima, his grandfather allegendly charged two enemy machine gun nests and single-handedly destroyed them using his flame-thrower.

by Russell Clark December 18, 2005

Bambi Effect

Primarily the Bambi Effect designates the emotional trauma, usually mild and transitory experienced by hunters and trappers when viewing close up a dead or dying and suffering neotenous, i.e., "cute and adorable" animal for whose death and suffering they suddenly acknowledge some responsibility.

Guilt experienced by a hunter as he suddenly identifies with the suffering of an animal which he has killed. The name is a reference to the classic Disney film, Bambi, in which the tragic climax to the story is reached as the protagonist's (Bambi's) mother is killed by hunters.

Secondarily the effect pertains to the reaction of witnesses to scenes of the brutal killing of said neotenous animals, e.g., harp seal pups clubbed by Canadian hunters.

The black limpid pools for eyes of small, helpless harp seal pups connote childlike innocence, and it was the oft repeated images in the mass media of the clubbing of seal pups that caused an outcry in the 1970's to protect the pups from Canadian hunters. Strangely, the continual slaughter of bonobo apes, who are genetically closest to humans or of West African elephants, orders of magnitude more intelligent and consciously aware than any seal pup, never provoked nearly the same amount of public concern and outrage against animal cruelty. This seeming ethical inconsistency is no doubt owing to the differential operation of the Bambi Effect upon witnesses to images of human-caused animal suffering.

by Russell Clark January 3, 2007

Forward AWOL Recovery Team

The Forward AWOL Recovery Team, or FART is small body of soldiers, usually including the AWOL soldier's squad leader and several members of the AWOL soldier's own platoon that is informally composed by the Platoon Sergeant and/or Platoon Leader for "executing AWOL recovery procedures." Intelligence as to the nearby whereabouts of the AWOL soldier must be considered reliable and the FART must be fielded and report back to duty before the team members are noticed missing by the Company Commander (CC), unless the CC is complicit and can provide a plausible cover story to the Battalion Commander (BC) to buy time for the FART's operations.

Internal military memos issued by National Guard two star generals and above have made clear that commanders at all levels are to be held accountable for controlling manageable losses, which certainly suggests to lower level commanders a real need for the Forward AWOL Recovery Team (FART). According to these memos, "commanders must retain at least 85 percent of soldiers who are scheduled to end their active duty and 90 percent of soldiers scheduled to ship for Initial Entry Training, and execute the AWOL recovery procedures for every AWOL soldier." It is largely for this reason that the practice by lower level commanders of aggressively and secretly issuing FART's is likely to continue.

by Russell Clark January 13, 2007