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Rob Porter's definitions

dumphole

(n.) The anus and rectum of any primate, including homo sapiens.
Say, doctor, do you have any medicine for hemorroids? There's a Turkish freighter about to dock and my dumphole is itching like hell!
by Rob Porter May 15, 2008
mugGet the dumpholemug.

clitoromaniac

(n.) One who is obsessed or particularly infatuated with clitori of all varieties.
Suzie loves to lick clits 24/7. Man, she's a fucking clitoromaniac!
by Rob Porter December 27, 2007
mugGet the clitoromaniacmug.

clutter slut

(n.) Any individual that lives in a place with stacks of magazines and huge newspaper piles strewn about the living room. Some clutter sluts also have glass top tables covered with cheap dusty glass figurines. Most clutter sluts are either faggots or grandmothers.
Hey, Darryl! After I cornholed your grandmother last night, I barely sneaked out through the living room. Tell that clutter slut to throw some of that fuckin' shit in the trash!

"Oh, Bruce, you have a marvelous china cabinet!" said Steve. "Oh, it's nothing, Steve. I'm really just a first class A-1 clutter slut."
by Rob Porter March 16, 2008
mugGet the clutter slutmug.

lemonade launcher

(n.) Slang term used by children, parents and pediatricians, that refers to the urethra of the male penis or the female vagina.

The term 'lemonade launcher' is a preferred euphemism to use when conversing with children about personal hygiene, unlike other nouns considered to be vulgar, like pisshole, pussy juice, dick, cock, cunt, twat, etc. Most parents would prefer that their children not use such 'nasty nouns.'
Natalie, you must remember to wash and clean your lemonade launcher before you get out of the bathtub.
by Rob Porter March 12, 2009
mugGet the lemonade launchermug.

Barbara's Bush

Nobody knew that Barbara's Bush would one day bear forth a fruit with the mentality of a vegetable.
by Rob Porter January 3, 2009
mugGet the Barbara's Bushmug.

chat sex

(n.) Same as phone sex, except that one must keep both hands on the keyboard. This indicates that one must use one's feet to masturbate, or learn to type with their toes. This leaves both hands free to grope yourself and someone else simultaneously. If fortune prevails, you could use the other hand to perform a rusty trombone or rusty trumpet on your favorite live sex partner while having chat sex with a third party.
STEVE42: Are you there, Bruce?
BRUCE69: Yes.
STEVE42: Let's have chat sex, OK?
BRUCE69: All right, man!
STEVE42: Let me find my big giant dildo, OK?
BRUCE69: OK. I'll just give your grandmother a rusty trumpet to pass the time, OK?
STEVE42: Sounds good.
BRUCE69: All right, my man! We're gonna get naked and nasty tonight!
by Rob Porter January 5, 2009
mugGet the chat sexmug.

Spanish moss

The pubic hair of an elderly ho, which is often moldy, greenish in color, and infested with crabs, lice, brown recluse spiders, beetle larvae, maggots and other living and dead organisms. The aroma given off from Spanish moss is overwhelming and can sometimes be fatal.
Doctor: Nurse, come in here please! I can't place a catheter in this patient!

Nurse: Why not, Doctor? Is there too much Spanish moss around her twat or something?

Doctor: Maybe so. Would you give me a hand on this one??

Nurse: Sure, doctor. Let me put on some gloves and I'll see if I can make my way through that Spanish moss. Pee-ooo!


*** RELATED LIMERICK ***

There was an old whore from the Azores,
Whose cunt was so covered with sores;
That the dogs in the street
Wouldn't eat the green meat,
That hung from festoons on her drawers.
by Rob Porter January 14, 2009
mugGet the Spanish mossmug.

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