The pubic hair of an elderly ho, which is often moldy, greenish in color, and infested with crabs, lice, brown recluse spiders, beetle larvae, maggots and other living and dead organisms. The aroma given off from Spanish moss is overwhelming and can sometimes be fatal.
Doctor: Nurse, come in here please! I can't place a catheter in this patient!
Nurse: Why not, Doctor? Is there too much Spanish moss around her twat or something?
Doctor: Maybe so. Would you give me a hand on this one??
Nurse: Sure, doctor. Let me put on some gloves and I'll see if I can make my way through that Spanish moss. Pee-ooo!
*** RELATED LIMERICK ***
There was an old whore from the Azores,
Whose cunt was so covered with sores;
That the dogs in the street
Wouldn't eat the green meat,
That hung from festoons on her drawers.
Nurse: Why not, Doctor? Is there too much Spanish moss around her twat or something?
Doctor: Maybe so. Would you give me a hand on this one??
Nurse: Sure, doctor. Let me put on some gloves and I'll see if I can make my way through that Spanish moss. Pee-ooo!
*** RELATED LIMERICK ***
There was an old whore from the Azores,
Whose cunt was so covered with sores;
That the dogs in the street
Wouldn't eat the green meat,
That hung from festoons on her drawers.
by Rob Porter January 15, 2009
(n.) Same as phone sex, except that one must keep both hands on the keyboard. This indicates that one must use one's feet to masturbate, or learn to type with their toes. This leaves both hands free to grope yourself and someone else simultaneously. If fortune prevails, you could use the other hand to perform a rusty trombone or rusty trumpet on your favorite live sex partner while having chat sex with a third party.
STEVE42: Are you there, Bruce?
BRUCE69: Yes.
STEVE42: Let's have chat sex, OK?
BRUCE69: All right, man!
STEVE42: Let me find my big giant dildo, OK?
BRUCE69: OK. I'll just give your grandmother a rusty trumpet to pass the time, OK?
STEVE42: Sounds good.
BRUCE69: All right, my man! We're gonna get naked and nasty tonight!
BRUCE69: Yes.
STEVE42: Let's have chat sex, OK?
BRUCE69: All right, man!
STEVE42: Let me find my big giant dildo, OK?
BRUCE69: OK. I'll just give your grandmother a rusty trumpet to pass the time, OK?
STEVE42: Sounds good.
BRUCE69: All right, my man! We're gonna get naked and nasty tonight!
by Rob Porter January 05, 2009
1. (v.) To engage in sexual intercourse with a person or object.
2. (v.) To penetrate the deep orifices or cavities of a person or object with a dildo. It is more polite to use this term than the F-word in mixed company.
This must not be misconstrued or misspelled as the verb splotch.
Synonym: fuck
2. (v.) To penetrate the deep orifices or cavities of a person or object with a dildo. It is more polite to use this term than the F-word in mixed company.
This must not be misconstrued or misspelled as the verb splotch.
Synonym: fuck
I love to schplotz myself with a broom handle.
John and Mary were arrested for schplotzing on their front lawn.
He schplotzed his inflatable doll all night long.
John and Mary were arrested for schplotzing on their front lawn.
He schplotzed his inflatable doll all night long.
by Rob Porter March 12, 2009
"Hey, what's up with Bubba? Did he go on another dinge binge or something?"
"Yes. He's in Harlem Heaven right now."
"Yes. He's in Harlem Heaven right now."
by Rob Porter September 17, 2007
1. (n.) Synonymous with anus/asshole/ringpiece/balloon knot.
2. (v.) To buttfuck a person (see also cornhole and pound).
2. (v.) To buttfuck a person (see also cornhole and pound).
1. You have a rather nice looking bunghole. Mind if I insert my holepole into it for a bit?
2. G'day, mate... I got my rocks off last night by getting bungholed by three different sailors.
2. G'day, mate... I got my rocks off last night by getting bungholed by three different sailors.
by Rob Porter September 15, 2007
by Rob Porter September 24, 2007
by Rob Porter January 13, 2009