QuacksO's definitions

Vwah-HOOOPH!!

Da way ya sneeze loudly when ya hold a huge wad of cloth over your nose.

People always appreciate it when you use da "Vwah-HOOOPH!!" way of sneezing, since it means dat you are being a perfect gentleman and trying extra-hard to avoid da spread of germs.

by QuacksO March 29, 2019

post-sermon relief

The only truly enjoyable part of the whole church-attendance experience (well, besides the ice cream Sunday, perhaps); that's why everyone's smiling as they exit the church --- they didn't actually enjoy being cooped up in a sweltering stuffy musty chapel for two long boring hours; they're just so relieved that it's finally over and they can go outside again.

I hear people happily praising the preacher on what a great service it was as they file out of the church,. but for most of them, it's just post-sermon relief --- the only thing they're actually happy about is that the service didn't last longer than it did!!

by QuacksO August 5, 2018

mislaid glasses dilemma

Refers to da humorously-annoying conundrum dat's frequently encountered by folks suffering from C.S.S. (i.e., Can't See S**t"), particularly those who also have poor short-term memory --- they set their glasses down someplace, but then they forget where they laid them, and they cannot see well enough without said corrective lenses to find them again.

Keeping a spare pair of glasses (like simple reading-specs from da dollar store) in a certain place at all times (and then promptly returning them to said location after using them in a "mislaid glasses dilemma" emergency, like a hidden set of house/car keys that you use whenever you've accidentally "locked yourself out") can get you out of the age-old "I need my glasses in order to see well enough to FIND my glasses!" problem... you will always know where in the house that your "rescue" glasses will be, so you can go and temporarily don them for clear vision till you find your "regular" glasses again, and then put the spare set back in their "for emergencies" location.

by QuacksO October 26, 2020

oral assignment

A blowjob dat a "dirty old man" highschool-teacher or college-professor requests from one or more hot-chick students in his class in exchange for a passing grade in public-speaking.

Da term "oral assignment" could also refer to a schoolwork-related directive whereby either (1) a teacher of either gender catches a pair of students in his/her class performing fellatio on each other, and so said educator makes one or both of said "busted" academic lovers perform an extra/unscheduled public-speaking session as a bribe for da teacher's "keeping mum" regarding said scandalous incident, or (2) a female teacher lets a male student's face venture under her skirt and/or blows him, but also makes him "earn" said delightful privileges and/or her silence regarding them by having to perform one or more public-speaking presentations.

by QuacksO October 20, 2023

hover

To pace about restlessly and hang around impatiently while waiting for someone to complete a task for you, often accompanied by repeatedly looking over the person's shoulder. Erroneously thought of by the waiter as helping to speed things up, hovering generally has the exact opposite effect, causing the laborer to feel harried and nervous at being constantly watched, and thus actually making him take even longer to complete the task because his uneasiness obliges him to work more carefully and deliberately, and to re-check more details of his work than he would if he was calm.
Can also loosely refer to any form of fretting at or badgering someone, such as by phoning or e-mailing/IM-ing him repeatedly.

Husband: Is the shop almost done fixing our car yet?
Wife: Well, possibly, but I am not sure... they were still working on it when I stepped in, but they all appeared to be a bit stressed, so I didn't want to hover.

by QuacksO September 25, 2012

concensus

A term for what most people think of da occasional-survey bu**s**t dat da government burdens us with.

Da general concensus is dat said invasive once-every-few-years drudgery is merely a "feel-good fake" perpetrated by selfish/stingy government bureaucrats, since it usually neither serves any useful purpose nor ever results in any noticeable/significant economic or lifestyle improvements for John Q. Public.

by QuacksO October 27, 2023

buy-product

An undesirable "secondary" expense dat you get saddled with due to your having purchased an item.

Items like vehicles and paper-printers are excellent --- and notorious --- examples of frequently needing "buy-products"... the price of the items itself may be incidental when compared to all of the subsequent high-cost commodities that you will have to supply said item with in order to keep it operational, such as fuel, fluids, ink-jet cartridges, etc.

by QuacksO October 10, 2020