Definitions by QuacksO
job-skeels
The extremely-limited (and not very good at even those few sectors of knowledge, according to his former boss, Hassan --- "Achmed...! You have worked for us for T'REE YEAHS, and you STILL haven't keeled INFIDEL ONE!") number of "employment-marketable" experiences/capabilities that Achmed originally possessed before he met the Wilson family. After he became acquainted with them and their "totally-peaceable" lifestyle and beliefs, however, the now-cheerfully-toned-down Achmed began learning to "redirect" or "channel" his use-of-explosives expertise to create lovely stone statues that he could then sell to other folks.
I never know when Achmed is gonna decide to hot-headedly make use of his assorted "job-skeels", so I always meekly ask his permission before I say anything to him, so that hopefully he won't feel so much like offing me just because I spoke to him.
job-skeels by QuacksO November 18, 2018
xenophobia
An irrationally-biased/prejudiced/hateful attitude regarding "foreign" incandescent bulbs which contain any of those "fancy gases" like xenon; said closed-minded person prefers instead to simply stick with "regular 'n' domestic" plain-tungsten-filamented lamps.
I haven't really got anything to say against modern technology, and I certainly don't possess xenophobia, but I do still prefer just the "bargain-basement" tungsten-halogen lamps as opposed to the much-more-expensive --- and often far more power-thirsty --- gas-filled bulbs; besides, I don't like blazingly-brilliant headlights overpoweringly boring holes clear through my skull when I'm merely trying to peaceably tootle my way home, and so I wouldn't wanna use those beastly-bright "second sun" lamps, anyway, since then I myself would be making it harder for other drivers to see, as well.
xenophobia by QuacksO November 18, 2018
cryobi
Refers to any "foreign made" brand of power tool (often using crappy-a** Chinesium parts) of such inferior quality that it makes your eyes well up just to look at it.
If you're just a casual tinkerer goofing around wif scrap wood and/or recycled mild-steel bits, then yeah --- I suppose you could get by wif a mail-order Chinesium knock-off-brand lathe or drill press. But if you're really wanting a fair degree of precision or "repeatability" in your work, you don't wanna go with cryobi tools --- trust me, you'll git nuttin' but headaches and a significantly increased vocabulary!
blooperints
Refers to prototype-drawings/schematics that turned out NOT to be quite "what da doctor ordered" --- i.e., they may have looked good on paper, but there were significant miscalculations/oversights, causing parts of the creation to break, fall apart, bind, be too long/short, not fit, etc.
When the Pink Panther beamingly showed the Little Big-Nosed Guy his drawn idea for a fantastical "dream house", the midget builder scoffingly waved the plans off as nuthin' but a stack of cloud-cuckoo blooperints!
blooperints by QuacksO November 17, 2018
Only trees should wear wood
The tree-hugger's equivalent of the endangered-animal-species advocate's "only elephants should wear ivory" saying. Hear, hear!
Nowadays there are plenty of "alternative" materials we can use instead of pulp-fiber in the production of lumber, paper, etc.... only trees should wear wood; we need them --- along with the plankton in the ocean --- for creating our planet's oxygen.
Only trees should wear wood by QuacksO November 17, 2018
pencil-eraser etiquette
Refers to the (unfortunately very-seldom-practiced!) consideration of using a separate hand-held rubber eraser --- or at least to slip on one of those much-longer-lasting wedge-shaped "supplementary" eraser-caps if you know you'll be doing a lot or error-expunging --- to clean most of your mistakes instead of just mindlessly consuming your pencil's minuscule built-in eraser, so that you don't wear da entire 0%!$&#@ eraser clear down to the metal ferrule before the pencil's even been "sharpened away" much at all, causing any unfortunate person who subsequently attempts to use said pencil to not have any eraser left for "emergency" erasures (i.e., where he needs to make a quick correction in a tense/flurried situation, like trying to hastily jot down a phone number or address, or to quickly fill out a form where neatness is a must). It helps eliminate waste, as well --- think how many still-perfectly-usable pencils (i.e., they still have most of their "length" remaining) likely get discarded just because their erasers are worn down.
I always bring along a few pencil cap erasers in my purse, since I know how few people actually practice pencil-eraser etiquette, and so oftentimes the only pencils that will be lying around for people to use will not have any eraser left.
P.S. There's also such a thing as "pencil-POINT etiquette --- if ya wear down the lead in a "public" pencil, such as a string-tethered one for a "customer comments" notes-box, practice a little fellow-human consideration by scraping away a bit of the wood at the tip to expose a little of the graphite core again (here's where always carrying a small pen-knife --- or even better, one of those tiny two-finger-grip "dog-bone" or "hourglass" style sharpeners --- can come in handy), so that da next patron who wishes to fill out a store-satisfaction card can have enough of a point on da pencil to actually do so!
P.S. There's also such a thing as "pencil-POINT etiquette --- if ya wear down the lead in a "public" pencil, such as a string-tethered one for a "customer comments" notes-box, practice a little fellow-human consideration by scraping away a bit of the wood at the tip to expose a little of the graphite core again (here's where always carrying a small pen-knife --- or even better, one of those tiny two-finger-grip "dog-bone" or "hourglass" style sharpeners --- can come in handy), so that da next patron who wishes to fill out a store-satisfaction card can have enough of a point on da pencil to actually do so!
pencil-eraser etiquette by QuacksO November 17, 2018
law of diminishing returns
What a state with a deposit on beverage-containers unwittingly enacts upon itself by not adjusting the amount of said deposit in response to inflation.
Maine's five-cents-per-container deposit began in early 1977, and yet it's still only that exact same amount today --- yup, in well over FORTY YEARS, the amount of "green" that you get for recycling a soft-drink bottle or beer can hasn't gone up past just a nickel, even though a "Tommy disc" isn't worth nearly so much nowadays as it was "way back when"! It's no wonder, therefore, that fewer and fewer people are bothering to actually cash in their own drink-containers or pick up ones that litterbugs have tossed... sounds like da classic "law of diminishing returns" to me... yep, da state had originally voted in da returnable-bottle law in an effort to reduce waste and beautify our countryside, but nowadays our roadsides and parks are actually MORE cluttered than ever before!
law of diminishing returns by QuacksO November 17, 2018