Definitions by QuacksO
scream therapy
A controversial health-improvement regimen of unproven worth/efficacy that entails either:
1. Yelling at everyone around you to help decrease your own level of stress (naturally, this practice drastically **increases** these other hapless mortals' OWN stress-levels, but this is for medical purposes, so those folks' feelings and emotions don't matter during this period, right? Right???)
2. Watching one or more Kevin Williamson flicks to remind yourself of how bad things *could* be, letting you feel better that you aren't involved in "extreme" situations like that.
1. Yelling at everyone around you to help decrease your own level of stress (naturally, this practice drastically **increases** these other hapless mortals' OWN stress-levels, but this is for medical purposes, so those folks' feelings and emotions don't matter during this period, right? Right???)
2. Watching one or more Kevin Williamson flicks to remind yourself of how bad things *could* be, letting you feel better that you aren't involved in "extreme" situations like that.
I'm not much for scream therapy; whenever I feel wound up, I just go down to the local marina and sit on the dock to watch the peaceful waves rolling in and softly lapping the shore... relieves my jangled nerves every time.
scream therapy by QuacksO May 14, 2019
he needs more training
Or "He's on medication"... what it really means is that he's an a**h**e, but we don't want to admit it.
I always disgustedly roll my eyes when someone tried to play down someone's destructive/abrasive behavior by saying, "He needs more training", when I know very well that the person in question is simply a no-good jerk, and so no amount of "training" or "counselling" in gonna help him... if he's evil or selfish by nature, there's nothing that others can do to "reform" him; he himself has to WANT to change his ways before any positive progress can be made.
he needs more training by QuacksO May 14, 2019
store-aisle preamble
Refers to the preliminary "look-see" stroll dat you make along a store's shelves prior to requesting assistance in locating a certain item of merchandise; this ensures dat you will not feel foolish --- and/or needlessly interrupt a probably-already-overly-busy store-employee --- by asking for help in finding something dat was actually right out in plain view all along, and so you could likely have spied it yourself if you'd simply been looking more carefully/closely.
I always make sure to do a through store-aisle preamble before calling an associate to help me find something I want to buy; it always a relief to see the employee pause and scratch his/her own head while seeking out my desired item (or have said staffperson regretfully tell me that either the store doesn't carry what I'd wanted or it's out of stock), since this means that I don't have to feel foolish or guilty for having "interrupted someone for nothing".
store-aisle preamble by QuacksO May 14, 2019
mixing business with pleasure
I always make sure not to eat or drink anything for several hours prior to meeting a new chick, to avoid the risk of mixing business with pleasure.
mixing business with pleasure by QuacksO May 14, 2019
Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistance
"You can stroll a store's aisles till Doomsday and never spot da item you want, but then, just as soon as you interrupt a staffperson to ask for help in locating said desirable, THAT'S when you will notice your sought-after item right off!"
While stocking up on food at a Super Walmart, I was looking for larger packages of Armour Vienna sausage so that I could save a few cents per can, but although I had thoroughly searched the surrounding areas on the shelves, I still hadn't found anything bigger than the small six-packs, so I finally asked a nearby employee if there were any of the larger packages in stock, possibly in the back room. Well, just as we were both walking back to the area of the aisle where I'd been looking, THAT'S when I finally spied the 12-packs that were sitting on the very top shelf! Guess that was a classic case of Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistance... ah, well, again, the 12-packs were indeed sitting very high up, so at least that was a plausible excuse for my not having seen them before, especially since the store usually doesn't even expect its customers to notice stuff that's placed 'way up there, anyway; that "lofty" location is merely where they store extra merchandise for replenishing the lower-down shelves when the stock there starts to run low.
Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistance by QuacksO May 14, 2019
arrestaurant
An eating-establishment where undercover cops hang out in the hopes of nabbing people who are on the run.
Dirty Harry was able to use the arrestaurant to catch his suspect; too bad the crook didn't think to count whether Harry had fired five shots or six; he didn't know the gun was empty when Harry told him, "Go ahead --- make my day!".
arrestaurant by QuacksO May 12, 2019
chronkiteicles
Da famous Wally had such a lengthy career that I imagine it would take too long to read the entire chronkiteicles in just a few "sittings; I'll hafta plan a couple hours of sit-down time per day for maybe a week or more in order to properly "absorb" it all.
chronkiteicles by QuacksO May 11, 2019