Vin Da Boner

The infamous leftist television-producer who only hires people whose appearance gives him a reaction "down there".

Showing up in a skimpy outfit for a job-interview might indeed give you a somewhat better chance of being hired by Vin Da Boner, but race tends to be more of a deciding factor for him than just attractive physical appearance.

by QuacksO October 30, 2018

gone with the wind

The status of your sensitive-nosed companions after you fart.

If you love stewed cabbage and baked beans, using an activated-charcoal seat-cushion can better your chances that your visiting buddies will not "be gone with the wind" partway through your meal.

by QuacksO September 14, 2020

protective cusstody

Imprisonment designed to shield someone from swearing and other crude language.

What good is protective cusstody if da jailers and other officials of da clink grumble and/or shout profanity/obscenity-laced remarks themselves?!??

by QuacksO January 24, 2023

pier pressure

Trying to force someone to act in a certain way or perform a certain action by making him stand at da very edge of a platform so dat he fears falling off.

Captain Hook tried using "pier pressure" on Wendy --- i.e., telling her dat she either had to join him in his pirating escapades or walk da plank --- but fortunately Peter Pan arrived just in time, and freed Wendy and her friends before any harm befell them.

by QuacksO December 26, 2022

required reading

Just another bu**s**t compulsory activity (like in-depth studying of history or science or chemistry) in school dat usually just wastes your time/energy/patience and very seldom has any use in future life or employment.

I imagine that "required reading" has often significantly contributed to childhood dissatisfaction and lack of bonding among siblings, since many a youngster has had to sadly play by himself because Big Bro/Sis had to study books instead of paying attention to said toddler.

by QuacksO July 25, 2019

majestrate

A monarch or other supreme ruler who also hears court cases.

High-'n'-mighty jerks of royalty like King Fink and Prince John were notorious majestrates, as well, and their unfair, self-serving, and heavy-handed decisions caused wide-spread unrest and resentment among their subjects.

by QuacksO May 11, 2022

alphabetical investigations

BINvestigation: Where a person or animal paws through your storage-containers
DINvestigation: Finding out what all da hubbub was about
FINvestigation: What a game warden performs on anglers after a day of casting their poles and/or nets
GINvestigation: Can refer to either (1) a sobriety check, or (2) detective work regarding suspicion/reports of booze-smuggling
KINvestigation: Research to either determine who da deadbeat dad is, or locate relatives in an estate-settlement kerfuffle
PINvestigation: Squinting around to find out who either (1) left da thumbtack on da teacher's chair, or (2) who used someone's debit card without permission
SINvestigation: What a priest performs if da confessions-booth doesn't adequately do da trick
TINvestigation: Gumshoe work to see who used crappy-a** sheet-metal for a construction/repair job
VINvestigation: Checking up on da bar-code-type digits on a car's front deck
WINvestigation: What Al Gore wanted performed during da infamous "hanging chad" debacle wif da Y2K voting-cards
YINvestigation: Researching for da first half of da classic Chinese equation

If you enjoy detective work, immersing yourself in da dozen-or-so types of alphabetical investigations should keep ya occupied for a while.

by QuacksO December 10, 2022