QuacksO's definitions

jewdicial system

Da legal-wrangling branch of government dat addresses disputes among people of Hebrew lineage.

Shylock wasn't too happy with the failed results of his usurious lawsuit against Antonio, especially with all the religion-based hostility that he endured from the Protestant court-attendees during said proceedings; perhaps he might have had better luck in a jewdicial system.

by QuacksO May 30, 2021

just in the nicotime

Refers to when you were able to partake of a Winston or Marlboro at da very last moment before you "cracked" emotionally, passed out, etc.

I avoid tobacco or any other addictive chemicals, so hopefully I should never have any "just in the nicotime" incidents, such as having to remain in a no-smoking area for a longer period than a "hooked" individual would normally go between cigarettes.

by QuacksO July 4, 2023

promonition

A predictive feeling about whether or not you will receive a promotion.

I don't usually have much confidence in fortune-tellers, especially when they claim to have promonitions about local corporate ladder-climbers.

by QuacksO October 30, 2018

arbortrary

Denotes that a certain item or action is required when working/relaxing in an agricultural setting, or when using mandrel-type accessories in a machine shop.

Adequate lubrication --- and the correct type of lubricant --- is arbortrary for keeping your lathe or drill-press performing at its optimum level.

by QuacksO August 23, 2019

over-the-counter medication

Stored-behind-da-checkout-platform substances dat are so strongly craved by certain customers dat dey will actually "vault da table" to obtain some.

Hagar The Horrible is infamous for infuriatedly taking a flying leap over an obstacle with his sword flailing whenever someone located behind said obstruction denies him a request, so one would hope that he never is prescribed any health-improvement pills by Dr. Zook, or said much-desired products might wind up being "over-the-counter medications" if said imperious Viking either was unable to pay for said pharmaceuticals, or he was wanting additional meds prior to the refill date.

by QuacksO November 3, 2023

scuba-diving

Where you use a straw or swizzle-stick to probe down into da big “scuba”* ice cream in yer cone to determine if da diner’s soda-jerk remembered to include yer prize at da bottom, or to check and see if there is indeed a delightful sticky-creamy chocolate-fudge center.
*Apologies to Abbot & Costello for swipin’ their joke here. :P

Redneck psychologist: I’ve found that one of the best --- and least painful/intrusive --- ways to determine if a client has obsessive-compulsive tendencies is to take him out for ice cream at a fast-food joint that offers a fun little prize down inside the cone, and then I simply observe whether my client performs a “scuba-diving” action before he finishes the ice cream.

by QuacksO September 15, 2018

incarserration

Slammer-time dat ya get sentenced to due to yer not having properly cut da grooves into knife-blades.

Ya can get similar-length stints at Da Crossbar Hotel if ya either neglected to form sawing-channels into tough-materials-slicing cutlery like tomato- or steak-knives, or DID grind da ol' zipper-teeth into paring- or boning-knives dat WERE NOT supposed to have them ---- either commission of serious neglect can carry some fairly-hefty incarserration, too! :P

by QuacksO January 19, 2025