valetdicktorian

Someone who's a real a**h**e when it comes to parking your car for you.
K.I.T.T. is a fully self-driving car and thus is always able to find a parking spot on his own, so Michael Knight never has to worry about any valetdicktorians' causing him grief in a V.I.P. parking lot.
by QuacksO October 29, 2020
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slackreligious

Casual about Bible-related speech, beliefs, practices, etc.
Many of da top evangelists really roar and scream about Hell and damnation during their sermons, but they are mighty slackreligious off-camera and in their personal/everyday lives!
by QuacksO May 24, 2023
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adequit

Sufficient to cause others to allow you to walk off a job.
If an endeavor begins either not producing enough tangible results, requiring too much effort, taking too long, or costing too much, that's usually an adequit ground to abandon said task and move on to something more productive.
by QuacksO October 06, 2024
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Schplitz

The "extreme" aerobics exercise that made Milwaukee famous.
I don't want to enroll in any or Milwaukee's aerobics classes --- they all make you do "The Schplitz", and I value the integrity of my hips-joints more than that.
by QuacksO January 07, 2013
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substitoot

Someone whom you employ to break wind in your stead (da word can also refer just to said "proxy" whizzpopper itself) on occasions where you'd thought dat you'd "really had a good one all ready", but then it turned out to merely be a "false alarm". Be sure to frequently feed said butt-splutter supplier a sizeable portion of baked beans, of course, so dat he can always be reliably "primed 'n' prepared" whenever a supplementary fart is required.
Da BFG never would need a substitoot --- actually, doubly so in his case --- because not only did he never have any trouble with copiously "blowing his trumpet" after drinking frobscottle, but as he told da Queen of England (and then noisily demonstrated said fact), he could still rip one "all on his own" --- i.e., regardless of whether or not he'd consumed any gas-producing foods in da recent past.
by QuacksO February 28, 2024
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substitoot

Someone whom you hire to do your bragging --- i.e., "blow your own horn" ---- for you.
Tronald Dump never had any need for a substitoot during his presidency, since he so greatly enjoyed doing all his bombastic boasting himself.
by QuacksO September 27, 2022
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wreckless

Often-misunderstood-by-adults term used by teenagers to honestly describe their early years of careful and accident-free driving ("my early wreckless years"). Parents and authorities, naturally, are usually way too thick-headed and closed-minded to realize what the virtuous teens are referring to, and so they continue to criticize the teens as being scatterbrained and out of control, rather than praising them for their exceptional lifestyles and commendable habits.
Parole officer: So, young man, I understand you've been drinking for three years now?
Teen: Yeah, I started way back in my wreckless years.
Parole officer (disgustedly): Ahhhh... so you had no brain-sense back THEN, either, eh?
Teen: No, no, no... what i meant was ---
Parole officer (impatiently): Nah-ah --- no need to explain. I believe I am getting the picture perfectly loud and clear. I'm gonna recommend another three months' probation for the likes of you.
by QuacksO April 03, 2012
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