cree-dentials

Da qualifications of a Native-American.

Lewis and Clark didn't need to bother asking their Native guides for their cree-dentials, since anyone whom they hired was from their own area, and so they were all familiar with what the explorers would likely encounter in that particular region.

by QuacksO June 10, 2020

genieologist

Someone who obsessively collects antique glass bottles in the hope that there may be a genie in one of them.

Guy #1: Zheesh, dude, look at all those colored glass bottles sitting in the windows of that old fart's mansion. Must be a thousand of them!
Guy #2: Yeah, bud; weird, huh? Must be a genieologist.

by QuacksO February 23, 2012

tearanny

Dictatorial control facilitated though copiously-leaky facial waterworks.

I try not to arbitrarily think of a person's crying as being manipulation, but there are indeed some individuals who use said streaming-eyed blubbering merely as tearanny to try to get what they want.

by QuacksO October 06, 2020

butt-welding

Refers to metal-fabrication dat you are able to perform with just your own fart-gases due to their being so super-hot dat you can actually use them like a welding-torch.

I made da mistake of sitting on a stack of several nested chairs while chowing down on extra-spicy baked beans, cabbage stew, and hot wings at my buddy's backyard barbeque, and after some uproarious whizzpopping adventures, I ended up butt-welding da chairs together into one solid mass of metal tubing!

by QuacksO February 06, 2021

moosetake

What Bullwinkle would be making during hunting season if he ventured out in da open without wearing his orange neck-scarf.

If a member of da largest species in da deer-family made da "moosetake" of carelessly showing himself to a hunter, he might likely end up as "moosesteaks".

by QuacksO November 08, 2020

whiz 2 whiz

A.k.a. "zip 2 unzip"; a humorous way of referring to the act of dashing off into da woods for a moment to urinate.

It was a really hot day, and so I brought plenty of drinking-water with me when Tiffany and I went out for a relaxing stroll on a quiet country lane; da only prob was dat my internal workin's didn't seem to know enough to "hold onto da refreshing moisture" instead of just "dumping" it, and so I hadda whiz 2 whiz every fifteen minutes!

by QuacksO November 05, 2018

"ghost writer" AUTHORity

Rampant in "chain of command" situations --- especially the military and "mega-biz" establishments --- whereby everybody wants to push underlings around but then hastily "passes the buck" and claims ignorance/innocence when things go sour. Refers to the deplorable practice of an arrogant/dictatorial/irresponsible/ignorant a**h**e with way too much power ("authority") giving unwise/ineffective/counter-productive orders to one or more hapless underlings, brusquely refusing to listen to their urgently-beseeching appeals about the fallacy/unfairness/danger of proceeding as he told them, but then suddenly shedding all knowledge/responsibility (i.e., not admitting that he was indeed the "author" of those crazy stipulations) regarding said preposterous directives whenever s**t hits the fan afterwards as a result of his subordinates' having reluctantly-but-obediently carried out his unwisely-mandated actions.

I long ago decided to not just blindly/arbitrarily follow orders/rules/laws, no matter what position or experience or education/training that their "authors" happened to supposedly possess... I **always** use my own judgement/conscience in all my actions. Too many times in the past, I've gotten in knee-deep doo-doo MYSELF for someone else's screw-ups in reasoning/planning, only to have said "idiot in power" pull da ol' "ghost writer" AUTHORity trick on me, never admitting or even falsely denying ever having told me to proceed that way, just so that HE would not have to suffer any of the fallout from his own preposterous directives.

by QuacksO August 25, 2018