QuacksO's definitions

Help me to help you

A totally threadbare request/remonstration designed to merely extort excessive/unwarranted effort/labor from someone, but without said outlay's truly creating any significant improvement in the person's life or in his overall physical/mental/emotional/legal/financial/social status.

Probation officer: Now, Son, you know how much I care about you, and I have your best interests at heart. I need for you to prove to me and my supervisors that you are indeed a responsible-minded young man, though, so I want you to volunteer to work 20 hours a week at the local cattle-farm... it'll allow me to better convince the authorities to "wipe the slate clean" and restore your driving privileges.
Teenager, scowling disgustedly: Yeah, right --- you actually expect me to go and bust my ass in the hot sun shovellin' manure and diggin' fence-post holes for four hours a day, and not get a DIME for my efforts?!??? Sound to me like a classic "help me to help you" stunt just to get some free labor out of me --- no THANKS!

by QuacksO February 10, 2017

Pelvis Resley

A hips-and-belly-swinging dance made famous by da King of rock 'n' roll.

In an episode of da "Red Green Show", several Possum Lodge members try to impersonate Da Tennessee Troubadour by doing hilariously-outrageous Pelvis Resley renditions, but Red and Harold are visibly unimpressed.

by QuacksO March 8, 2022

celibassy

Da status of someone who refrains from partaking of either music played over subwoofers or rod-'n'reel fishing.

One simple way to "invisibly" get around a vow of celibassy is to use just tiny full-frequency-range earbuds with your iPod instead of amplified loudspeakers, and forgo da "obvious" rod-'n'-reel by merely tossing in a baited hook on da end of a long length of clear-monofilament fishing-line dat cannot be easily spotted from a distance; not using huge thumpy-thump loudspeakers won't scare da fish away, either. :P

by QuacksO February 18, 2023

"No ____ing" sign

Refers to any posted prohibitory notice that causes its readers to want to perform said verboten activity (smoking, alcoholic-beverage consuming, biking/scootering/skateboarding, sports-playing, loitering, littering, honking, etc.) all the more.

If you wanna practically guarantee a significant uptick in some disruptive/destructive activity, just put up "No ____ing" signs, and then watch everybody and his brother start doing it!!!!

by QuacksO March 28, 2019

bangquit

A big "celebrating da turning over of a new leaf" dinner for assorted "reforming" individuals who have vowed to cease having random/casual sex-partners and/or startling people by setting off firecrackers after attending said culinary bash.

I went to a huge bangquit as a condition of my probation for social irresponsibility, but there were so many scantily-clad "cute 'n' curvy" chicks serving as waitresses --- and such a thunderously-boomy display of fireworks afterwards --- dat I totally broke all of my promises (as did most of da other horny and noise-loving studs in attendance), and so we all went home both with ringing ears after gleefully taking turns lighting da Roman-candle fuses, and with limp-and-droopingly-fatigued love-pipes from having repeatedly "left a little bit of ourselves" between da legs of said "hot hostesses" --- said luscious lookers were so overheated and breathless from all of said delightful-encounter action dat they performed da after-party cleanup totally naked, with totally numbed tits and buns from all of da huge warm thirsting male paws dat had savoringly kneaded said delectable mounds of protoplasm almost continuously during da shindig, and copious sperm-residues dripping out of their puffy and exhausted coochies.

by QuacksO April 10, 2024

Sibeeria

Da super-cold northern region of Russia where fine pilsners and lagers are all da rage.

Perhaps Bubba J would indeed love to live in Sibeeria for da copious malted beverages, but --- although some auto-racing does indeed take place in dat "icebox of da north" area --- unfortunately there would be no NASCAR.

by QuacksO August 5, 2021

eeriesponsible

What you would be if you entered a haunted house if you are easily frightened, or while suffering from heart complications.

I get nightmares very easily, so it would be highly eeriesponsible of me to visit da Amityville horror mansion.

by QuacksO June 3, 2020