QuacksO's definitions

assordid

Used to describe details that are both numerous and “juicy”, but which are not suitable to discuss in front of ladies or children. Usually uttered in an uncomplimentary context, where the speaker feels revulsion or disgust, or is upset with the loose-tongued “reporter” for not having more discretion in what details he is choosing to divulge.

Clueless guy: Wow, you should see the awesome collection of secret-fantasy toys that Barry has! He’s got zebra-striped-fur-lined handcuffs, a gold-plated whipped-cream dispenser, stainless-steel-studded black-leather collars and belts with ---“

Squeamish dude: Uggghhhhh… TMI, Bud! Spare me the assordid details!

by QuacksO November 23, 2011

snooze-cement

That completely invisible but annoyingly effective "glue" that always seems to form between two bedfellows who are cuddling "sans-clothing", creating a damp and tacky "skin-to-skin" bond which becomes (often painfully!) apparent only when either snoozer attempts to turn over or otherwise change position; this is especially a problem on warm nights and/or if one or both slumberers is of the "corpulent" variety.

Chubby girl: Ouch --- WATCH it, Mr. Sticky Man! You're pinching my boobie and stretching my underarm-flaps!
Half-asleep guy: Huhhh...? Oh, sorry, hunny --- it's that yucky snooze-cement again.

by QuacksO November 17, 2011

hearafter

Refers to da period of time in your existence subsequent to when you could detect sounds normally.

Thanks to modern technology (i.e., micro-amplifiers, cochlear implants, etc.), da hearafter no longer needs to be nearly so upsetting or stressful.

by QuacksO May 1, 2020

favorable-desk scramble

Refers to where you unexpectedly get a whole string of several newly-composed UD definitions approved right off, and so you realize that the currently-online submission-judgers are apparently a more-receptive "desk" (as in, "it all depends on whose desk you land on") than the overly-critical/humorless a**h**es who seem to be typically present, and who often heartlessly/flippantly reject many of your perfectly-good and well-worded definitions in favor of stupid/negative/gross/disgusting/smutty submissions that aren't the least bit clever or funny, and which are riddled with misspellings, poor grammar, lousy/unclear wording, etc. So you hastily delve back into your "archives" of previously-rejected definitions and re-submit some of them, in the hopes that these more-fair-minded judgers are still the ones who are "watching" for new submissions, and thus they will approve this latest "crop" from you, as well.

I always try to perform the favorable-desk scramble whenever I have a chance; it's allowed me to get most of my definitions published, some of which I'd been waiting on for months.

by QuacksO August 25, 2018

cerVicks™

A soothing ointment dat a lady applies to her "girly junk".

I wonder if cerVicks™ would work better than Vagisil during colder months?

by QuacksO May 26, 2019

lollappaloosa

A super-impressive dapple-coated horse.

Da "cookies 'n' cream" horse-breed has long been used for racing, and so there are plenty of "lollappaloosa" entries in da equine hall of fame!

by QuacksO July 11, 2023

long-winded discussion

Refers to any meeting between two or more people that takes place after they have all partaken of voluminous quantities of baked beans or spiced cabbage, resulting in a comparably voluminous quantity of drawn-out butt-trumpet rasps.

"July is National baked bean Month" Pppppppp-rrrrrttttt. "Excuse me." Google "baked beans speech" for the entire hilarious long-winded discussion.

by QuacksO January 31, 2017