by QuacksO June 16, 2024
"The desirability of and/or your need for an item at a garage sale will be in direct inverse proportion to the likelihood of your actually being able to purchase it."
The four most common/infuriating occasions when Murphy's Law of Garage Sales holds true:
(1) A desired item is something that's just stored in the family's garage; it’s not one of the items for sale.
(2) The item has already been sold, and the homeowner is just “holding” it till the buyer gets back with either the money or a vehicle to transport the item to his own home.
(3) The item is too expensive, and the seller will not budge on the price. (Note: this is not always an "all hope is lost" situation --- you may have at least two additional options. First, try coming back again later in the day to see if the item is still unsold --- if YOU think that the item is overpriced, then most OTHER yard-sailers may think so, too, and so nobody else may have bought the item yet, either, giving you a second crack at possibly purchasing it at a reduced price, especially since by now the seller may likely feel a bit "desperate" to get rid of it. And second, have a glance at the trash-heap out front of the person’s house that evening --- sometimes unsold yard-sale items will simply be tossed out, and so you can then get them for free.)
(4) The item is something that you would logically want to test out first to make sure it operates satisfactorily, but there is no hookup for electricity/water/telephone/internet/antenna/audio/video at the site of the sale, and the stubborn owner will not allow you to either bring the item into his house or temporarily take it somewhere else to test it.
(1) A desired item is something that's just stored in the family's garage; it’s not one of the items for sale.
(2) The item has already been sold, and the homeowner is just “holding” it till the buyer gets back with either the money or a vehicle to transport the item to his own home.
(3) The item is too expensive, and the seller will not budge on the price. (Note: this is not always an "all hope is lost" situation --- you may have at least two additional options. First, try coming back again later in the day to see if the item is still unsold --- if YOU think that the item is overpriced, then most OTHER yard-sailers may think so, too, and so nobody else may have bought the item yet, either, giving you a second crack at possibly purchasing it at a reduced price, especially since by now the seller may likely feel a bit "desperate" to get rid of it. And second, have a glance at the trash-heap out front of the person’s house that evening --- sometimes unsold yard-sale items will simply be tossed out, and so you can then get them for free.)
(4) The item is something that you would logically want to test out first to make sure it operates satisfactorily, but there is no hookup for electricity/water/telephone/internet/antenna/audio/video at the site of the sale, and the stubborn owner will not allow you to either bring the item into his house or temporarily take it somewhere else to test it.
by QuacksO August 01, 2018
A fabric made from a disgusting blend of materials dat merely imitates a soft fluffy absorbent surface, but in fact is so uncomfortable to have against your skin dat you actually wish you were dead whenever you are unfortunate enough to have to actually wear said repulsive cloth.
Doc Brown was "allergic to all synthetics", and so he had wisely decided to bring along cotton underwear in his suitcase when first setting out in his time machine; there was "Noah Wayne Hellman" dat he was gonna risk having to wear any semiterry clothing during his journey to da future!
by QuacksO August 22, 2022
Coca-Cola really committed an entreepreneurial flub when they tried releasing a reformulated beverage instead of their classic recipe.
by QuacksO June 07, 2021
Merely teaches an insanely-boring "set of lies agreed upon", and proffers info that's usually of absolutely no use whatsoever in the later lives or employment-opportunities of the needlessly-suffering students.
About the only times when any of da stuff learned in history class would ever come in handy in one's adult life would be in archaeology work, in trivia shows like "Jeopardy!", or if you were composing "goof" submissions for television/movie content dat involved past events. I mean, was there even ONE SINGLE TIME in your life since class when you hadda know any Revolutionary history, or recall who William Leidesdorff or Amadeo Giannini were in relation to the founding of San Francisco???
by QuacksO April 11, 2019
What da "traditional St. Patrick's Day" humans in da world need to realize before employing sweet-talking "charmed advantages of their ancestral home-country" tactics in an attempt to solicit undue favor with others, such as being given special treatment, allowed extra leniency, etc.
Just because you've got Celtic roots and/or red hair and freckles, this does not mean that you should presume to be able to use your "luck of the Irish" strategy to weasel your way to undeserved gain or forgiveness --- generally speaking, Flaherty will get you nowhere!
by QuacksO November 14, 2020
Da assorted painful muscle-spasms dat you suffer from excessive musical-instrument playing, or from lugging around a lute or lyre dat's too heavy/bulky.
While Jaime Sommers was under hospital-room arrest, Steve Austin sneaked up to her window and eye-twinklingly said dat he had "come to serenade her". Da unjustly-detained-and-therefore-very-downcast Jaime then asked Steve if he knew da song called "Melancholy Baby", but of course, he had actually gone there just to bionically bust her out of her room so dat she could travel wif him to investigate her supposed crimes for themselves and try to figure out what had happened in reality and who had truly been responsible, and so there was no risk of Steve's actually developing any minstrel cramps, since he never ended up strumming a note on any stringed instruments.
by QuacksO June 18, 2023