Definitions by QuacksO
obitchuary
The common newspaper column that women utilize to write in and complain about the oblivious/incompetent/chauvinistic men in their lives. (Seldom read by the men, incidentally --- ignorance is bliss, and they don’t want to be overly depressed.)
Petulant girl: My boyfriend is being a total dink --- I think I'll write in to the obitchuary, to see what the other chicks think about it.
obitchuary by QuacksO November 28, 2011
orders
One of life’s first-and-foremost “double-edged swords” --- something that can “cut both ways” as far as definition and desirability is concerned. While it can refer to a welcomed stack of purchase-agreements that will bring wealth and prosperity to its recipient, it can also mean stern/irritable directives to do/not do something that its recipient hates/wants to do.
Coke-bottle glasses
Prescription eyeglasses with very thick/heavy lenses, like the infamous "forest-fire-starter" curved lens-like bottoms on heavy-walled Coca-cola soft-drink bottles.
Wow, that little old lady's sure got the coke-bottle glasses! Wonder how she ever manages to see in the shower or anyplace else where she has to take her glasses off.
Grade-school kid #1: Yo, pal --- you back from the eye-doc, I see. Whoa-hoh-hohhhh... what huge thick lenses! That rig must weigh a TON --- zheesh, I feel for ya --- totally sux, Bud!
Grade-school kid #2: Yeah, fer sher --- the doc said it was hereditary, and I'd never have good vision, so he gave me these stupid Coke-bottle glasses which I'll hafta wear the rest of my life. Ah, well... at least I can see again.
Grade-school kid #1: Yo, pal --- you back from the eye-doc, I see. Whoa-hoh-hohhhh... what huge thick lenses! That rig must weigh a TON --- zheesh, I feel for ya --- totally sux, Bud!
Grade-school kid #2: Yeah, fer sher --- the doc said it was hereditary, and I'd never have good vision, so he gave me these stupid Coke-bottle glasses which I'll hafta wear the rest of my life. Ah, well... at least I can see again.
Coke-bottle glasses by QuacksO November 28, 2011
real estate
Guy who wants to give a girl a massage: Don't worry, hun... I promise I’ll just touch the “acceptable” parcels of real estate --- when the sign says, “Keep off the grass”, I keep off the grass! (Acknowledgements to Charles Bronson)
real estate by QuacksO November 26, 2011
The Merchandise
Girl, protesting a guy’s trying to feel her up: “Hey! Who said you could sample The Merchandise?!???”
The Merchandise by QuacksO November 26, 2011
tit-for-tat
The practice of a female’s either showing a man “The Merchandise” or letting him feel her up in exchange for his assistance. Often mentioned in the case of a normally-modest/celibate female who does not want to expose herself but feels that she may have no choice at the time because she really needs the male’s immediate help but possesses no money or other "acceptable" way to presume to expect said male to exert himself on her behalf.
Roomie #1: Yo! It's eleven p.m., Girl! Where ya been?
Roomie # 2: Oh, had a flat tire, hunny, 'way out in the boonies! Lucky for me that country boy stopped by on his ATV and changed it for me!
Roomie #1: He did it for FREE?!?? You told me you were outta foldin' money.
Roomie # 2: Yeah, I know --- hadda give him a little tit-for-tat first.
Roomie # 2: Oh, had a flat tire, hunny, 'way out in the boonies! Lucky for me that country boy stopped by on his ATV and changed it for me!
Roomie #1: He did it for FREE?!?? You told me you were outta foldin' money.
Roomie # 2: Yeah, I know --- hadda give him a little tit-for-tat first.
tit-for-tat by QuacksO November 26, 2011
exersighs
Assorted weary wheezes, irritated snorts, long exhaled breaths accompanied by slumped shoulders, etc. exhibited by a "totally unmotivated" person whenever someone else either mentions that he should get up off his duff and do something constructive, or suggests that he take a walk for his health.