1 definition by Oblicuo
A town in Northern New Jersey which was first known as Charlotteburg; a small ironmaking town that supplied iron until 1922 where the land was purchased by Francis S. Kinney who named the town after himself. Over the next century, Kinnelon would transform into a moderately quiet town with low-density suburban areas and multiple nature parks and trails.
It is also a town where there is little to nothing to do. If you do something; it is probably drugs. The school uses tons of the town's money (around 80% of the budget) and its used to buy some new Range Rovers. The schools' National ranking is dropping each year and nobody really notices. The only redeemable thing about Kinnelon's current school system is the music program, which is decent at best. Everyone in the town is white, part of the upper middle class and are apparently entitled to whatever the fuck they want. They probably also know every detail of your life as soon as you take a step in Kinnelon. The Lakes, fields, and anything remotely interesting in the town is probably a 10-minute drive from wherever you live. Making it severely inconvenient to do anything independently until your father (with a job paying 6 or 7 figures) buys you a new S-Class AMG or a Jeep as a first car (another place to smoke weed). The town is so boring, you're here reading this instead of doing anything else. As soon as anyone gets the chance to leave, they fucking run.
It is also a town where there is little to nothing to do. If you do something; it is probably drugs. The school uses tons of the town's money (around 80% of the budget) and its used to buy some new Range Rovers. The schools' National ranking is dropping each year and nobody really notices. The only redeemable thing about Kinnelon's current school system is the music program, which is decent at best. Everyone in the town is white, part of the upper middle class and are apparently entitled to whatever the fuck they want. They probably also know every detail of your life as soon as you take a step in Kinnelon. The Lakes, fields, and anything remotely interesting in the town is probably a 10-minute drive from wherever you live. Making it severely inconvenient to do anything independently until your father (with a job paying 6 or 7 figures) buys you a new S-Class AMG or a Jeep as a first car (another place to smoke weed). The town is so boring, you're here reading this instead of doing anything else. As soon as anyone gets the chance to leave, they fucking run.
Guy 1: Man, I hate Kinnelon. I want to leave as soon as possible
Guy 2: Same bro same. Pass the blunt.
Guy 2: Same bro same. Pass the blunt.
by Oblicuo November 26, 2018