9 definitions by ORD ELLIS

An ailment of unknown origin considered to be 'virtually' viral that can affect wide cross-sections of any population predominantly with Internet capability. However, more seriously infecting those most susceptible i.e. those who: are anal retentive; have no other life; have too much time on their hands; are infirm; are agoraphobes; possess other such vulnerabilites.

The most obvious symptoms - other than the outwardly addictive behaviour more readily observed by others - is an abnormal growth spanning all (or at least a majority) of the fingertips called a 'keyboard'. Milder forms of the illness can manifest itself in the form of a growth called a 'mouse' usually isolated and attached to only one hand. This form of the disease swiftly grows into the full-blown version quite rapidly exhibiting the keyboard style growth, sometimes nearly instantaneously.

Cure for the disease is not as simple to accomplish as it may at first sound. Invasive proceedures such as surgical removal of the keyboard growth and/or unplugging of the computer seem only to be temporary fixes as in most cases the computer becomes mysteriously 're-plugged' and the keyboard growth rapidly reappears on the victims' fingertips once more. No matter how often these proceedures are followed, the incidence of re-occurance remains alarmingly high, almost 100%.

It is currently classified as a Social Disease, but actually that is a misnomer as it is more of an ANTI-Social Disease as real world relationships suffer while the 'virtual' relationships propogate.

Currently, there is no surefire cure and the outlook for one in the near future is dim.
She has this incurable condition. She never wants to spend time with the family or cleaning the house anymore. And our sex life is virtually non-existant. All her time is spent posting and replying in nearly a half-dozen forums all over the net. I can't wait for someone to come up with a cure for POSTITIS SYNDROME.
by ORD ELLIS March 21, 2007
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A 'heightened' heightened sense of self awareness brought on by un-conscious thoughts so deep into one's own psyche as to cause the condition of schizophrenia. These people are usually only a danger to themselves, unless of course, they get elected to public office. Then they are a danger to the real world as we know it and are then to be known by the group name: Democrats.
Here's another bill introduced into Congress for a study to determine how to reduce the current wave of senseless spending by 6 Billion dollars. This bill will probably pass as it brings Trillions of dollars into the sponsor's home district required to complete the study. He must have come up with this one during a recent transientmental meditation.
by ORD ELLIS September 5, 2007
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The act of being able to cover your previous prevarications effectively with new untruths that support the orginal ones in question well enough such that they will no longer be suspect.
Our son has such a great future ahead of him. He is so self relient.
by ORD ELLIS September 5, 2007
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'Self-Advising' is the term for doing what you ought not, KNOWING BEFOREHAND that you ought NOT and yet . . . you do it anyway. This is especially true of calling with a known dead hand in poker. Against our own best advice to ourselves and gut instincts (and sometimes even the odds), we do what we know is wrong because . . . well, you know the list of reasons, we all have them and interchange and use them at random.
When am I going to start listening to myself and STOP! listening to myself? That's what I get for self-advising again.
by ORD ELLIS September 5, 2007
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The sense of always knowing where the 'X' is, as in 'You are here. (with arrow pointing to an 'X')' Especially important trait to know you have if you always seem to be finding yourself in some kind of spot, as 'X' always marks the spot. So where else would you have expected to be then? However, most people who are REALLY self aware have no clue so they continue to blame others. Once you come to understand that you have this self awareness, then you can effectively begin to accept this challenge of always being on the 'spot' because you now know where you are and can begin to constructively and successfully deal with it. Almost everyone has this self awareness, but very few are truly aware of it. These folks are also said to be 'soul searching' and look most often EVERYWHERE but inside themselves where it always resides.
I sure wish she'd show more self awareness. She excuses it as she's 'soul searching' but quite often I don't think she even knows what planet she's on.
by ORD ELLIS September 5, 2007
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The phenomenon that nearly ALWAYS occurs while playing poker - usually Texas No-Limit Hold'em - at the final table in online pokersites where the shortstack (almost out of the game) and the bigstack (chip leader) positions swap.

This usually will happen with only 4 or 5 seats left in the game and quite often results with the former bigstack knocked out of the game in the 4th or 5th position while the former shortstack will go on to take 2nd position or even the WIN.

In a sit and go, a Chipstack Reversal is usually directly associated with the 'bubble' - last unpaid seat in a tournament/sit and go.
'You're the chipleader on the bubble, Freddie. Watch out for the Chipstack Reversal.'
by ORD ELLIS March 4, 2007
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Self defecation is the act of being able to make fun and/or light of yourself in an effort toward 'humanizing' yourself. Actually that is the definition of 'self deprecation' however self defecation is self deprecation BUT to the 'Nth' degree. To further explain, the antonym of being self deprecative would be 'pompous' while the antonym of being self defecative would be that of a 'complete pompous ass'.
He was trying too hard to fit in by using some self defecation humour and ended up making himself not only the butt of his own jokes, but everyone else's as well. What a complete ass, he sure went overboard.
by ORD ELLIS September 5, 2007
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