Definitions by Nutzen YerMouf
Microsoft Excel
Software created by Microsoft that non-technical people use instead of a database, or cheap companies use as a crappy application studio.
We have 6,000 Microsoft Excel files out there that are exactly identical in reference to the type of data they store. It would be perfect for a database, but we use Excel because the web server we store them on is already paid for by another department and we don't want to pay for a database.
Microsoft Excel VBA applications need to die. You will never get a real programmer to stay around if all you want them to do is build VBA applications with that shit because you are too cheap to buy Visual Studio. This may be why your turnover is so high or your developers lack motivation and ambition to do real work.
My shitty job wants me to program in VBScript and Microsoft Excel VBA. I am looking for a new job because I value my skills and wish to avoid Excel hell.
Microsoft Excel VBA applications need to die. You will never get a real programmer to stay around if all you want them to do is build VBA applications with that shit because you are too cheap to buy Visual Studio. This may be why your turnover is so high or your developers lack motivation and ambition to do real work.
My shitty job wants me to program in VBScript and Microsoft Excel VBA. I am looking for a new job because I value my skills and wish to avoid Excel hell.
Microsoft Excel by Nutzen YerMouf March 12, 2018
fuck this job
fuck this job by Nutzen YerMouf March 12, 2018
three legged man
Claim a man makes when he wants to boast about his penis size. The inference being that the third leg is his penis.
Julie stated to Mark, "Why would I want anything to do with your two inches of hard chode dick?"
Mark replied, "Shiiiiiittt girl! I am a three legged man! They call me tripod."
Mark replied, "Shiiiiiittt girl! I am a three legged man! They call me tripod."
three legged man by Nutzen YerMouf March 9, 2018
bonerectus
An unusually erect penis. It is typically painful and the afflicted is brought to the edge of ejaculation but cannot quite attain release. Frequently followed by a severe case of blue balls.
Gordy stated, "I knew I shouldn't have worn these silk boxers today. My dick keeps rubbing against it and it's making me hard."
Fred replied, "I know what you mean. When I wore my wife's underwear to work last week, feeling that silk rub up against my dick, I got a full blown bonerectus. I had to run to the bathroom and beat it off and I still got blue balls from it."
Gordy replied with disgust, "That was you that got that shit allover the toilet seat? Damn, I sat in that. I had fucking pop-tart poop come on and plopped my ass down just in time only to realize I had semen on my mother fucking ass."
Fred replied, "I know what you mean. When I wore my wife's underwear to work last week, feeling that silk rub up against my dick, I got a full blown bonerectus. I had to run to the bathroom and beat it off and I still got blue balls from it."
Gordy replied with disgust, "That was you that got that shit allover the toilet seat? Damn, I sat in that. I had fucking pop-tart poop come on and plopped my ass down just in time only to realize I had semen on my mother fucking ass."
bonerectus by Nutzen YerMouf March 9, 2018
Alabama pork pie
Three brothers watched their sister jump into the pond behind their house in her bathing suit.
The oldest brother, Jim-Bob, licked his lips and said, "Mmmm Mmmmm, we're gonna get some Alabama pork pie tonight."
The oldest brother, Jim-Bob, licked his lips and said, "Mmmm Mmmmm, we're gonna get some Alabama pork pie tonight."
Alabama pork pie by Nutzen YerMouf March 9, 2018
Reactionary
Joe was attending the MAGA rally when a man with a sign walked by. Joe yelled at him, "Fucking libtard commie asshole!"
The man with the sign turned just as Joe's fist connected with his face. The man dropped his "Make America Great Again" sign face up. Joe saw it and said, "Oh damn, I thought you were one of those hippy protesters."
The man was twice the size of Joe, and now he was pissed. Much like Joe, he was also a reactionary. Joe got his ass kicked.
The man with the sign turned just as Joe's fist connected with his face. The man dropped his "Make America Great Again" sign face up. Joe saw it and said, "Oh damn, I thought you were one of those hippy protesters."
The man was twice the size of Joe, and now he was pissed. Much like Joe, he was also a reactionary. Joe got his ass kicked.
Reactionary by Nutzen YerMouf March 9, 2018
fireshits
The extremely painful defecation that occurs in some people after a large consumption of spicy foods.
Jonathon ate several habenero peppers and some ghost peppers. A few hours later he was howling in pain as the liquefied fireshits squirted out of his body.
fireshits by Nutzen YerMouf March 7, 2018