Definitions by Nuphagus

Plopportunity 

The chance to have a crafty dump behind a bush when nobody is watching

I had a tortoise head! The girls were all chatting and I had bit of old tissue in my pocket, so I dived in the hedge and turned one out! It was the perfect plopportunity.

Plopportunity by Nuphagus February 26, 2020

Penith 

A complete knob with a lisp

We were having some drinks at a barbecue and I stripped off to my grots for a laugh, and he shouted,”thtop it and thit down you thtupid thod! It’th embarathing Thimon!”. What a total penith!

Penith by Nuphagus January 19, 2020

Breasticles 

Saggy boobs that hang so low that the nipples are near the genitals

Crikey, Mildred’s bangers are so droopy they look like a pair of breasticles!

Breasticles by Nuphagus January 14, 2020

Red zeppelin 

Sore knob

I did that marathon in a pair of swimming shorts with a mesh lining! They were rubbing my todger for 26 miles! I had a red zeppelin when I got home!

Red zeppelin by Nuphagus January 5, 2020

Scumcosh 

Really baggy scrotum making the testicles resemble snooker balls in a sock, as used by Ray Winston in the movie,’Scum’

That dude should’ve worn some longer shorts! Look, his scumcosh is hanging out of the gusset!

Scumcosh by Nuphagus January 5, 2020

Hasselhuff 

State of anger reached when someone mocks David Hasselhoff

I said ‘Baywatch’ should be called ‘Gaywatch’ and that Mitch Buchanan was a big, curly haired tosspot and Herman stormed off in a Hasselhuff!

Hasselhuff by Nuphagus January 5, 2020

Snogging the toothless clown 

Cunnilingus with a woman whose pubis is unusually thick and bushy.

When we went for lunch, Cedric smiled at the waitress and he had whopping great pubes like bed springs between his teeth! I reckon he was snogging the toothless clown last night!

Snogging the toothless clown by Nuphagus January 5, 2020