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Top Tier Travis

That guy that always brags about his shit. He always has the best, the only, the original, and the thing nobody else could have.

There is no way to impress Top Tier Travis and youshouldn’t even try because you will have to endure 1000 texts about his greatness with complete denial of any of his weaknesses.

He does have a nice wife, but she always travels without him. She seems to wear the pants in Top Tier Travis’s house. He would never admit it though!
OMG, Top Tier Travis just started a company and he is texting that his ideas were first, he copyrighted them, and every company wants his services. I looked on Yelp and he received 20 reviews all saying “what and asshole” but they had fun on - business trip with his wife last week when she gave them TTT’s referral.
by No Tango and no Cash September 16, 2023
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Top Tier Eugene

Same as Top Tier Travis, but with a dorky name that was hidden in legal documents from his friends until they discovered it in the background of one of his braggadocios texts.

He denies it’s his real name despite all
Open source resources saying otherwise.
Yo- did you see Top Tier Eugene came up with another thing he is the best at? He literally sent a picture of the other guy’s idea and tried to say it was his! What a dork!
by No Tango and no Cash September 24, 2023
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Greg Finger

When you shoot firearms a lot, and have other injuries to coincide, you can sometimes develop “Trigger Finger”.

Trigger Finger is also called: trigger thumb and is a condition in which a finger gets stuck in a bent position and then snaps straight.
Trigger finger occurs when the tendon in the affected finger becomes inflamed. Those most at risk include women, people with diabetes or arthritis, and people whose regular activities strain their hands.

When a male, career, shooter gets it it’s called “Greg Finger.”
Travis: “Hey Hank, did you hear about Greg getting trigger finger?”

Hank: “No? You mean he got Greg Finger, right?”

Travis: “Yup, from all that masterbating he does before going to the range.”
by No Tango and no Cash October 7, 2023
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Come on Kurt

The ultimate family fantasy trophy is named after the most common saying of a beloved Aunt who passed a few years ago.

In true family spirit- having fun with fooling around and busting balls to build comradery, the team managers decided to create an acronym for the “Come on Kurt” Trophy and play the annual seasons for the “COK.”

It is the most prized trophy of any and all fantasy football leagues.
Player 1: “Thanks to Scott, who was the first champion of the SFFL, for his selfless dedication to aunt Margie, declining the right to name it after him for being the first winner.”

Commish: “The Come on Kurt” trophy will now be named the “COK.” Fran will still never win it though because his team always sucks!

Player 2: Yunkle Terry always cheats because he wants to get his hands on the COK!

Player 3: Timmy will always be tricking the guys into fighting hard for the COK because it’s funny as shit!
by No Tango and no Cash September 17, 2023
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Phucking Phailure

When the Philadelphia Phillies have everyone believing in them and all their hopes and dreams are riding on a World Series Championship…but Ben Franklin’s curse strikes again and they fall short.

That is a Phucking Phailure.
The Phillies blew 2 games in the NLCS and then were forced to go to game 7. Vegas had them as the favorites to win the World Series. They Came out flat in Game 7, at home, and lost to the Arizona Diamond Backs. The Philadelphia Phans were stunned by this Phucking Phailure and will spend the off season pleading for the Eagles to give them some hope as they crave a champion in this town.
by No Tango and no Cash October 25, 2023
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Weekend at Bernie and Steve’s

When the cousins all meet in Tampa and want to have a good time- and they end up dragging a dead weight cousin around all week.
Damon and Terrence flew to Florida for a Weekend at Bernie and Steve’s! Damon didn’t want to go to the strip club though because he was scared his wife would kill him - so Terrence has to drag him around all weekend
by No Tango and no Cash March 25, 2024
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Francis Fur

When cousins are all at the beach surfing, and one has a totally hairy chest while the others are all baby-seal-slick, that hairy cousin has Francis Fur.

Francis Fur grows like a genetic mutation, and can not be easily shaved. Razors clog and break so tree trimmers are needed. Francis Fur creates enough static electricity on a dry winter day to power a house for a week.

Francis Fur has a Velcro effect and must be covered by a cotton shirt, preferably one with a 4 leaf Irish clover logo on it, in order to prevent static cling to any item.
During a family get together, Uncle Kurt told everyone a surfing story:

“Wow, when cousin Steve, went surfing with cousin Damon, they were riding a wave and really carving the tube. All of a sudden, both boards got magically stuck in the water and they both flew off into the rotor.”

“When they cam up, both boards were stuck to cousin Fran, who had been body surfing in the path. Apparently, his Francis Fur velcroed the boards because he didn’t have his t-shirt on.”

“Luckily, neither Steve nor Damon were injured when the boards were ripped out from under them.”
by No Tango and no Cash September 28, 2023
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