Definitions by Nick D
International Relations
The ultimate easy major in college. Getting anything lower than a 'A' in any class requires serious effort.
Professor: "Johnny, we need to talk about your coursework this semester in my Advanced International Relations 338 class."
Johnny: "Yeah, what of it, shithead?"
Professor: "Well, for your first paper, you simply wrote 'Fuck you, Professor Cockgobbler' and drew a cartoon which appeared to be me giving a...um...blow job...um...to a buffalo. For your second paper, you submitted an actual photo of you having anal intercourse with my 15-year-old daughter. On the final exam, you wrote 'I am going to brutally murder your entire extended family, seriously.' in dog shit. Then you did in fact murder them all."
Johnny: "So what?"
Professor: "This type of disrespect will absolutely not be tolerated in my class. I'm going to have to punish you by lowering your grade to an A-minus."
Johnny: "NO!!!! That's going to lower my GPA so much!"
Professor: "Well, given that you have committed such atrocities in addition to your complete lack of ambition as well as academic ability, I'd say you deserve no better than a 3.98."
Johnny: "WHAT??? How could you say such a thing? You'd have to be a severely retarded quadriplegic to get a GPA that terrible!"
Johnny: "Yeah, what of it, shithead?"
Professor: "Well, for your first paper, you simply wrote 'Fuck you, Professor Cockgobbler' and drew a cartoon which appeared to be me giving a...um...blow job...um...to a buffalo. For your second paper, you submitted an actual photo of you having anal intercourse with my 15-year-old daughter. On the final exam, you wrote 'I am going to brutally murder your entire extended family, seriously.' in dog shit. Then you did in fact murder them all."
Johnny: "So what?"
Professor: "This type of disrespect will absolutely not be tolerated in my class. I'm going to have to punish you by lowering your grade to an A-minus."
Johnny: "NO!!!! That's going to lower my GPA so much!"
Professor: "Well, given that you have committed such atrocities in addition to your complete lack of ambition as well as academic ability, I'd say you deserve no better than a 3.98."
Johnny: "WHAT??? How could you say such a thing? You'd have to be a severely retarded quadriplegic to get a GPA that terrible!"
International Relations by Nick D February 7, 2006
bill gates
Mark: "Oh shit!!! I need to pay off my credit card debt, but all my money is in these damned Sacajawea coins!"
Tim: "Don't sweat it, man. Sacajaweas are as good as real money over there at the bill gates."
Tim: "Don't sweat it, man. Sacajaweas are as good as real money over there at the bill gates."
bill gates by Nick D February 2, 2006
front your ass a play
Tom: "Dude, I can't believe we actually sat through all 4 hours of 'Pretty Pretty Princesses in the Land of Magical Unicorns.' That play was LAAAAAME, dude."
Phil: "Yeah, sorry about that. Yesterday when Crackhead Bill told me he'd front my ass a play I thought he was going to give me some drugs, not front row tickets to that. I'd rather watch 4 hours of maggots crawling through dog shit."
Tom: "Well at least that one 8-year-old girl was pretty hot."
Phil: "Um, that was an 8-year-old boy, man."
Tom: "Giggidy giggidy!"
"You want some llell?
I'll front your ass a play,
But other than that get the hell out my face
Because you niggaz tryin' to
Blow my buzz"
-D12, "Blow My Buzz"
Phil: "Yeah, sorry about that. Yesterday when Crackhead Bill told me he'd front my ass a play I thought he was going to give me some drugs, not front row tickets to that. I'd rather watch 4 hours of maggots crawling through dog shit."
Tom: "Well at least that one 8-year-old girl was pretty hot."
Phil: "Um, that was an 8-year-old boy, man."
Tom: "Giggidy giggidy!"
"You want some llell?
I'll front your ass a play,
But other than that get the hell out my face
Because you niggaz tryin' to
Blow my buzz"
-D12, "Blow My Buzz"
front your ass a play by Nick D February 2, 2006
shoot up
So boss, as this graph clearly demonstrates...if we allow our workers to shoot up on the job, our employee satisfaction level will shoot up 34%!
get a taste of the salami
Kevin: "How was the big date with Phoebe?"
Josh: "Pretty sweet man. She was all over my cock."
Kevin: "Ooooh yeah!"
Josh: "Yeah, when she came to my place I took her out to the barnyard and showed her the rooster cage. She loved it! But after that I figured it was time to let her get a taste of the salami."
Kevin: "Awwww right!"
Josh: "Yeah, so I took her to the Italian deli and got her one of those big salami sticks. She took down the whole 10 inches and swallowed it like a champ! But after that I decided it was time to give her a ride down the old Hershey highway."
Kevin: "Indabutt man!"
Josh: "Yeah, so we drove down Rte. 322 to the Hershey's plant and took a tour of the chocolate factory. It was awesome! But then I decided it was time to slip her the sausage."
Kevin: "Hell yeah!"
Josh: "So I surprised her with another big salami that I had picked up at the deli so she could save it for later. After that it was time to drop her off. That's when I got some real nice pussy!"
Kevin: "Yeah, 'bout time."
Josh: "Yeah, she had this sweet little cat, Fluffy. He was the greatest!"
Kevin: "So I bet you got a hell of a goodnight kiss at least."
Josh: "Nothing, man. She's a total prude. I had to go jack off to donkey porn!"
Josh: "Pretty sweet man. She was all over my cock."
Kevin: "Ooooh yeah!"
Josh: "Yeah, when she came to my place I took her out to the barnyard and showed her the rooster cage. She loved it! But after that I figured it was time to let her get a taste of the salami."
Kevin: "Awwww right!"
Josh: "Yeah, so I took her to the Italian deli and got her one of those big salami sticks. She took down the whole 10 inches and swallowed it like a champ! But after that I decided it was time to give her a ride down the old Hershey highway."
Kevin: "Indabutt man!"
Josh: "Yeah, so we drove down Rte. 322 to the Hershey's plant and took a tour of the chocolate factory. It was awesome! But then I decided it was time to slip her the sausage."
Kevin: "Hell yeah!"
Josh: "So I surprised her with another big salami that I had picked up at the deli so she could save it for later. After that it was time to drop her off. That's when I got some real nice pussy!"
Kevin: "Yeah, 'bout time."
Josh: "Yeah, she had this sweet little cat, Fluffy. He was the greatest!"
Kevin: "So I bet you got a hell of a goodnight kiss at least."
Josh: "Nothing, man. She's a total prude. I had to go jack off to donkey porn!"
get a taste of the salami by Nick D December 22, 2005
pinch of
A very little amount or to a small degree. Opposite of grip of, grippa, gang of, and hella. See also pincha.
buffalo
1) (n) A large hairy mammal.
2) (n) A city in western New York.
3) (n, adj) A type of hot wing sauce.
4) (v) To intimidate, as by a display of confidence or authority.
2) (n) A city in western New York.
3) (n, adj) A type of hot wing sauce.
4) (v) To intimidate, as by a display of confidence or authority.
Buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
(it's a legitimate sentence, really...the 4th "buffalo" is the verb)
(it's a legitimate sentence, really...the 4th "buffalo" is the verb)