Hemingway

a synonym for drunk

Larry: "That's my fourth Slalom Lager tonight. I'm getting pretty Hemingway here.“
Steve: "Hemingway enough to get with that Tri Delt over there?"
Larry: "Hell no man!"
Steve: "Well how about that horse standing next to the Tri Delt?"
Larry: "Yeah, I'll do that. I'm pretty Hemingway."

by Nicholas D November 11, 2003

ghostwood

An episode of erectile dysfunction, specifically when your wood ghosts you.

Mildred: “Heavens to Betsy, Barney, I already took my dentures out and you’ve gone soft on me!”
Barney: "For Pete’s sake, woman, it’s just the old ghostwood again! Let me pop this Viagra and I’ll be rarin’ to go in a jiffy.”

by Nicholas D May 02, 2021

little dance

A conference tournament in NCAA basketball. This term is used especially for mid-major (non-BCS) teams for whom winning the conference tournament is their only shot at getting into the big dance, i.e. the NCAA tournament. This term was coined by ESPN.

Phil: "LeBron James is awesome man. You know, I could have been that good if I had stuck with the game."
Kevin: "No you couldn't have."
Phil: "Dude! I was a big-time NBA prospect before I injured my knee."
Kevin: "No you weren't."
Phil: "Well, no, but I played in college and made it to the NCAA tournament - the big dance!"
Kevin: "No you didn't."
Phil: "No, but my team did play in the little dance and almost won."
Kevin: "No they didn't."
Phil: "No, but I did play in college."
Kevin: "Nope."
Phil: "I mean high school."
Kevin: "Uh-uh."
Phil: "I mean the 8-year-olds league."
Kevin: "No way."
Phil: "Well ok, but I did play in a pick-up game once and scored 10 points."
Kevin: "No you didn't."
Phil: "Well no. How did you know? Is it because I'm white?"
Kevin: "No, it's because you're a one-armed midget. I hate to say it, but basketball just isn't the game for you."
Phil: "Oh yeah, good point. But if I could grow two feet or so - and another arm - then I'd be 5-foot-3 and could be the next Muggsy Bogues."
Kevin: "Nope, sorry. Not a chance."
Phil: "Well I was a world champion in midget tossing...as the projectile."
Kevin: "Now THAT I believe."

by Nicholas D March 13, 2009

jukebomb

To completely kill the mood at a bar by playing music on the jukebox that is unbefitting of the establishment, such as country at a trendy urban lounge, hardcore rap at a West Virginia honky tonk, or Celine Dion just about anywhere. Will often result in a mass exodus of people, costing the bar hundreds if not thousands of dollars in revenue, and really piss off the bar owner.

Jerry totally jukebombed The Playaz Club on Saturday night by queuing up 20 consecutive Michael Bolton songs. The place was packed before it started, but by the end of the third Bolton song, it was so quiet that you could almost hear crickets chirping.

by Nicholas D February 27, 2009

fecal-faced

A more PC way to say shit-faced, for when one would prefer not to swear. It means extremely drunk.

John: "Duuuuude. Last night I consumed a considerable quantity of ethanol. I mean I was totally shit-faced."
Kevin: "What the hell, man, there are kids around. Watch your language. Shit is a terrible word to say. For fuck's sake you inconsiderate cunt."
John: "Oh my bad, I mean fecal-faced. I was drunk as a skunk."
Kevin: "Word to your mother."

by Nicholas D June 19, 2011

go wood

To completely and utterly flop. Usually refers to a music album. Whereas successful records can go gold or platinum, this term comes from the fact that wood is a far less valuable material.

"Peckerwood mad cuz his record went wood
No respect in the hood led to his 'Neck of the Woods'
Got in touch with his roots, found the redneck in his blood
And said, 'Heck, country western rap records are good'"
-Eminem, "Quitter" (Everlast diss track)

Tim: "Wassup gangsta!?!?!?"
Bill: "Dude, where'd you get that Porsche?"
Tim: "Oh, I took out a loan from this loan shark in Philly. Cost 45 Gs, mothafucka!"
Bill: "Um, that doesn't sound like a good idea. How are you going to pay for it?"
Tim: "Droppin' my new rap album next month, dogg. It's got some phat beats on it."
Bill: "Rap album? You're a white hick from Hummelstown. Who's going to take that seriously?"
Tim: "Don't make me blast my gat! Haha, just clownin'. Check out this sick beat:
(rapping)'Hummelstown, Hummelstown where we pummels down
Any punk ass mothafucka that come around'
Eminem or Jay-Z couldn't write shit that ill. Next time you see me it's gonna be on the red carpet with fly hoes on each arm."
Bill: "I don't know, man. I think you're going to go wood. You might be cruisin' for a bruisin'."

by Nicholas D August 30, 2012

bad economy

An all-purpose excuse that people use during a recession to justify doing things that are below their usual standard. Often these things in reality have little or nothing to do with the economic circumstances.

Harry: "You took your girlfriend to Applebee's on Valentine's Day? Pretty weak."
Larry: "Whatever man, I didn't have a choice. Bad economy."

Senator: "Mr. Paulson, you really want to give the greedy, soulless bankers who caused this mess $700 billion with no strings attached?"
Henry Paulson: "Hey guys, bad economy. Just do it."
Senator: "Good point. I vote yes."

Fred: "Dude, tell me you didn't go home with that broke down 300-pound whale I saw you with at O'Shea's last night."
Brendan: "Dude, it's a bad economy. I'll take what I can get."
Fred: "Yeah, I guess you have to."

by Nicholas D March 15, 2009