171 definitions by Nicholas D
Mark: "So how did last night's badminton game go? Looks like you got a fat lip there."
Jim: "Yeah Steve owned me pretty badly. He whacks the old 'cock around pretty good. Once I totally set him up by lobbing it to him right in front of the net. He slammed it straight into my face and I had no time to react..."
(Jim's mom walks in)
"...and I ended up with his 'cock in my mouth!"
Jim's mom: "Well I never! Get out of this house this instant! I will tolerate none of that kind of behavior. You're not welcome home anymore!"
Jim: "Yeah Steve owned me pretty badly. He whacks the old 'cock around pretty good. Once I totally set him up by lobbing it to him right in front of the net. He slammed it straight into my face and I had no time to react..."
(Jim's mom walks in)
"...and I ended up with his 'cock in my mouth!"
Jim's mom: "Well I never! Get out of this house this instant! I will tolerate none of that kind of behavior. You're not welcome home anymore!"
by Nicholas D June 28, 2008
Larry: "That's my fourth Slalom Lager tonight. I'm getting pretty Hemingway here.“
Steve: "Hemingway enough to get with that Tri Delt over there?"
Larry: "Hell no man!"
Steve: "Well how about that horse standing next to the Tri Delt?"
Larry: "Yeah, I'll do that. I'm pretty Hemingway."
Steve: "Hemingway enough to get with that Tri Delt over there?"
Larry: "Hell no man!"
Steve: "Well how about that horse standing next to the Tri Delt?"
Larry: "Yeah, I'll do that. I'm pretty Hemingway."
by Nicholas D November 11, 2003
A phrase that signifies that a person's prior remark could have been interpreted sexually while also insulting the (female) speaker. Means that no man would ever say such a thing about that person because it would be blatantly untrue. If the target of the comment is male, the related saying that's what she didn't say should be used.
Emily: "OMG girl that shirt is totally fab! Can I try it on?"
Gina: "Sure," (under her breath) "good luck fitting into it, you cheese hog."
Emily: "What did you say?"
Gina: "Uh...I said I need to go feed the dog."
(Gina pretends to feed the dog while Emily gets changed)
Emily: "It's a bit of a tight fit."
Gina: "That's what he didn't say!"
Emily: "Oh no you di'int!"
Gina: "Bitch please! You get around more than an aircraft propeller, you ho-ass jersey chaser. Remember the night when you banged the entire Duke lacrosse team? I rest my case."
Emily: "Hmm...come to think of it, I really am a fat slut."
Gina: "Word to your mother."
Gina: "Sure," (under her breath) "good luck fitting into it, you cheese hog."
Emily: "What did you say?"
Gina: "Uh...I said I need to go feed the dog."
(Gina pretends to feed the dog while Emily gets changed)
Emily: "It's a bit of a tight fit."
Gina: "That's what he didn't say!"
Emily: "Oh no you di'int!"
Gina: "Bitch please! You get around more than an aircraft propeller, you ho-ass jersey chaser. Remember the night when you banged the entire Duke lacrosse team? I rest my case."
Emily: "Hmm...come to think of it, I really am a fat slut."
Gina: "Word to your mother."
by Nicholas D June 14, 2012
Pete: "Yo dogg, want to go out and whack the 'cock around for awhile?"
Ken: "No thanks. I'm just going to hang out here and masturbate."
Ken: "No thanks. I'm just going to hang out here and masturbate."
by Nicholas D March 10, 2009
A sarcastic comment that is used when someone figures out something really obvious. An imitation of a game show host announcing that someone has given the correct answer and has won a prize that his assistant (Johnny) will specify on cue. Often preceded by "Ding ding!"
Boss: "OK everyone, Brenda Smith is going to be out on Thursday so we need someone to volunteer to fill her time slot."
Mike Hawk: "I'm available that day. I can do it."
Boss: "All righty then. I'm going to go ahead and stick Mike Hawk in her slot."
Steve: "That's what she said! Or...um...actually I mean that's what HE said!"
(everyone laughs except Jim)
Jim: "I don't get it..."
(20 seconds go by)
Jim: "Oh haha, now I get it...Mike Hawk sounds like 'my cock!' It's sexual innuendo. That's a good one."
Steve: "DING DING! What do we have for 'em, Johnny?"
Mike Hawk: "I'm available that day. I can do it."
Boss: "All righty then. I'm going to go ahead and stick Mike Hawk in her slot."
Steve: "That's what she said! Or...um...actually I mean that's what HE said!"
(everyone laughs except Jim)
Jim: "I don't get it..."
(20 seconds go by)
Jim: "Oh haha, now I get it...Mike Hawk sounds like 'my cock!' It's sexual innuendo. That's a good one."
Steve: "DING DING! What do we have for 'em, Johnny?"
by Nicholas D February 20, 2009
A euphemism for "motherfucking."
by Nicholas D November 8, 2011
An stronger form of beat it up. While beating it up means having intercourse with a woman, beating it uuuuup means really going at it like crazy or doing it multiple times. The more you drag out the "u" in "up," the more vigorous and/or repeated you are trying to say that the act was. Further emphasis can be added by sticking your tongue out during the "uuuuu" part.
Situation: Steve's little sister, Tammy, is a high school senior considering attending a college 500 miles from where Steve's family lives. Steve's friend from high school, Josh, is currently a junior at that college. Steve thought it would be a good idea for Josh to show Tammy around and introduce her to some people during her visit to the school.
Steve: "How did everything go with Tammy? It sounds like she had a great time."
Josh: "She sure as hell did! First I showed her around campus and introduced her to some of my friends. Then we went out to a bar and had a bunch of shots. After that I took it back to my place and I beat it up. Sorry dude."
Steve: "How could you, man? That's really disrespectful. Oh well, I'll get over it. We still on for South Padre for spring break?"
Josh: "Fo' shizzle my nizzle."
Alternatively:
Steve: "How did everything go with Tammy? It sounds like she had a great time."
Josh: "She sure as hell did! First I showed her around campus and introduced her to some of my friends. Then we went out to a bar and had a bunch of shots. After that I took it back to my place and I beat it uuuuup! Skeet skeet! Sorry dude."
Steve: "WHAAAAT!?!?!? You motherfucking son of a bitch! That's my little sister! I'm going to kill you!!!"
Steve: "How did everything go with Tammy? It sounds like she had a great time."
Josh: "She sure as hell did! First I showed her around campus and introduced her to some of my friends. Then we went out to a bar and had a bunch of shots. After that I took it back to my place and I beat it up. Sorry dude."
Steve: "How could you, man? That's really disrespectful. Oh well, I'll get over it. We still on for South Padre for spring break?"
Josh: "Fo' shizzle my nizzle."
Alternatively:
Steve: "How did everything go with Tammy? It sounds like she had a great time."
Josh: "She sure as hell did! First I showed her around campus and introduced her to some of my friends. Then we went out to a bar and had a bunch of shots. After that I took it back to my place and I beat it uuuuup! Skeet skeet! Sorry dude."
Steve: "WHAAAAT!?!?!? You motherfucking son of a bitch! That's my little sister! I'm going to kill you!!!"
by Nicholas D March 10, 2010