Acronym for collateralized debt obligation, a funding tool that banks use to package up a bunch of bonds (often subprime mortgage backed), then divide the package up into new bonds and sell them after skimming a few million dollars off the top. Usually called "diversified," but if you've got dog shit, horse shit, ape shit, and elephant shit, then you can call it whatever you want, but at the end of the day you're still just holding a gigantic pile of shit.
A way of putting lipstick on a pig that banks milked the hell out of from the mid-1990's til 2007. Unfortunately the banks got totally Bear Stearned when everyone saw through the lipstick and they were caught holding a whole sty of CDO pigs.
A way of putting lipstick on a pig that banks milked the hell out of from the mid-1990's til 2007. Unfortunately the banks got totally Bear Stearned when everyone saw through the lipstick and they were caught holding a whole sty of CDO pigs.
Banker: "I've got this great investment for you. It's called a CDO."
Sucker: "Um...I've heard bad things about those. What's so good about this one?"
Banker: "It's diversified! It's got subprime mortgage bonds from Kansas, subprime mortgage bonds from Georgia, subprime mortgage bonds from Nevada, and subprime mortgage bonds from Michigan!"
Sucker: "I've heard bad things about subprime - do you have anything else?"
Banker: "Of course! This other CDO is even MORE diversified. It's got Ninja loans, loans to homeless people to buy crack, Iraqi government debt, and loans to people that need some money to bet on the roulette wheel in Vegas. Of course there's almost NO chance that any of those people won't be able to pay back what they owe."
Sucker: "SOLD! Give me $10 million of it!"
Sucker: "Um...I've heard bad things about those. What's so good about this one?"
Banker: "It's diversified! It's got subprime mortgage bonds from Kansas, subprime mortgage bonds from Georgia, subprime mortgage bonds from Nevada, and subprime mortgage bonds from Michigan!"
Sucker: "I've heard bad things about subprime - do you have anything else?"
Banker: "Of course! This other CDO is even MORE diversified. It's got Ninja loans, loans to homeless people to buy crack, Iraqi government debt, and loans to people that need some money to bet on the roulette wheel in Vegas. Of course there's almost NO chance that any of those people won't be able to pay back what they owe."
Sucker: "SOLD! Give me $10 million of it!"
by Nicholas D March 26, 2008
To shamelessly increase diversity, inclusion, and references to modern-day issues in a story to promote social justice. The opposite of whitewash.
Writer: “I’ve got a movie idea! Let’s do the moon landing, except all the astronauts are morbidly obese paraplegic non-binary Muslim Australian aboriginals!”
Director: “Brilliant! This is your best idea since we won that Oscar for ‘D-Dayversity’, the story about the Normandy invasion except with all autistic pansexual transgender Kalahari bushpeople. You can wokewash like nobody I’ve ever seen!”
Director: “Brilliant! This is your best idea since we won that Oscar for ‘D-Dayversity’, the story about the Normandy invasion except with all autistic pansexual transgender Kalahari bushpeople. You can wokewash like nobody I’ve ever seen!”
by Nicholas D March 01, 2020
The greatest style of beer ever to grace the earth. Typically clocking in upwards of 8% ABV, this wine-strength beer is the motherlode of malty goodness, and is the preferred style of the highest echelon of cicerone s. There are two sub-styles, American and English, the former of which has more hop flavor and bitterness. As heavy hopping is appropriate in an IPA but destroys the pure heavenly flavor of this glorious beer style, a preference for American barleywine has been linked in scientific studies with brain damages, taste bud disorders, and early onset dementia. "Barleywine" is also generally considered to be a synonym of "life", thus giving rise to the common expression "Barleywine is life", or BiL for short.
Albert Einstein: "I just discovered the special theory of relativity, which Is the biggest breakthrough in theoretical physics in centuries. Also, I prefer American barleywine to English and hazy IPAs to barleywine in general."
Master cicerone: "Yeah, sorry to break it to you brah, but I think you may be mentally retarded."
Master cicerone: "Yeah, sorry to break it to you brah, but I think you may be mentally retarded."
by Nicholas D August 12, 2018
"Slow down baby / Let you know from the gate I don't go down lady"
- Fat Joe, "What's Luv"
Ted: "How long have you been living next to this gate?"
Will: "From the gate."
Ted: "So if I asked you where you were from, would you say you're from the gate?"
Will: "Hell yeah, I've been from the gate from the gate."
- Fat Joe, "What's Luv"
Ted: "How long have you been living next to this gate?"
Will: "From the gate."
Ted: "So if I asked you where you were from, would you say you're from the gate?"
Will: "Hell yeah, I've been from the gate from the gate."
by Nicholas D March 18, 2009
In 2007, Barry Bonds* hit his 756th* home run, passing Hank Aaron for the all time record*. He also holds the single season record* of 73* home runs. Previous single-season record-holders include Mark McGwire*, Roger Maris, and Babe Ruth.
Bob: "Barry Bonds in the 1990's was a hell of a player, wasn't he?"
Joe: "Yeah, but his numbers pale in comparison to what Barry Bonds* put up."
Bob: "Who's that?"
Joe: "You know, that guy on the Giants with a watermelon-sized head who set all those records*."
Bob: "Barry Bonds in the 1990's was a hell of a player, wasn't he?"
Joe: "Yeah, but his numbers pale in comparison to what Barry Bonds* put up."
Bob: "Who's that?"
Joe: "You know, that guy on the Giants with a watermelon-sized head who set all those records*."
by Nicholas D January 13, 2008
An unhealthy obsession with the iPhone game Angry Birds. The disease is named as such because "irritable fowl" has a meaning similar to that of "angry bird."
Boss: "Hey Joe, would you mind stepping into my office? I think we need to have a little talk."
Joe: "Sure, what is it?"
Boss: "That was your third half-hour trip to the bathroom today and it's only 1:30. What's going on?"
Joe: "Unfortunately I suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome. We had chili for dinner last night, and it really hasn't been sitting well with me today."
Boss: "Hmm...well I asked some of your coworkers about it and they mentioned hearing sounds of chirps and snorts coming from one of the stalls on several occasions. It's Irritable Fowl Syndrome you're really suffering from, isn't it?"
Joe: "All right, I admit it! I can't stop playing Angry Birds!"
Boss: "Well lucky for you, you'll have plenty of time to chase those golden eggs during your unemployment!"
Joe: "Sure, what is it?"
Boss: "That was your third half-hour trip to the bathroom today and it's only 1:30. What's going on?"
Joe: "Unfortunately I suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome. We had chili for dinner last night, and it really hasn't been sitting well with me today."
Boss: "Hmm...well I asked some of your coworkers about it and they mentioned hearing sounds of chirps and snorts coming from one of the stalls on several occasions. It's Irritable Fowl Syndrome you're really suffering from, isn't it?"
Joe: "All right, I admit it! I can't stop playing Angry Birds!"
Boss: "Well lucky for you, you'll have plenty of time to chase those golden eggs during your unemployment!"
by Nicholas D December 10, 2010
To reevaluate your actions after realizing that your current course of action is likely to lead you into a troublesome situation. From Ice Cube's song "Check Yo Self."
See also: check yo self before you wreck yo self
See also: check yo self before you wreck yo self
Phineas: "The derivative of the hyperbolic arctangent of x is one over the quantity one minus x squared. Booyah, who's the man!"
Isaac: "Whatever. Your math skills are mediocre at best. I bet you couldn't even prove the Pythagorean theorem with a compass and a straightedge."
Phineas: "I believe those are fighting words. Let's take this outside. I'm going to slap you silly with my pocket protector!"
Isaac: "I suggest you check yo self before you wreck yo self. I've got three of my chess club buddies backing me up and one of them takes taekwondo!"
Isaac: "Whatever. Your math skills are mediocre at best. I bet you couldn't even prove the Pythagorean theorem with a compass and a straightedge."
Phineas: "I believe those are fighting words. Let's take this outside. I'm going to slap you silly with my pocket protector!"
Isaac: "I suggest you check yo self before you wreck yo self. I've got three of my chess club buddies backing me up and one of them takes taekwondo!"
by Nicholas D February 18, 2009