Name removed by the NSA's definitions

Internet

A vast network of data that is

40% pornography

30% cat pictures

19% creeps

10% advertisements

10% the word "gay"

1% relevant information

All of which is spied on by the NSA

People keep saying that we should go back to the "Glory days" of the 1950's. But we can't; now we have the internet.

by Name removed by the NSA November 15, 2013

The NSA

Definition removed by the NSA

Example removed by the NSA

by Name removed by the NSA January 3, 2014

Atheist

A person who tries to prove the non-existence of an entity that resides outside of the universe using the laws of the universe

There is nothing wrong with being Atheist. This is just my opinion.

by Name removed by the NSA November 15, 2013

Religion

What Atheists bitch about on the internet

Atheist: religion is the biggest lie in the history of humankind *insert rest of shitfest*

Normal person: how about you just let me believe what I want to believe?

Atheist: *mind explodes*

by Name removed by the NSA December 9, 2013

Twilight

The most famous keyboard slam of all time

Girl- want to watch twilight?

Boy- sure! *shoots himself*

by Name removed by the NSA December 5, 2013

Anal cavity search

What airport security officers do to you if you blink wrong.

Imagine a group of people putting gloves on and taking turns shoving it really far up your ass.

Airport cop: Name?

b: {very arabic name}

Airport cop: Come with me, please.

b: God dammit, it's an anal cavity search, isn't it?

Airport cop: Don't worry, we're only violating a COUPLE of your rights..

*glove snaps*

by Name removed by the NSA January 3, 2014

Gay

10% of the Internet

Gay!

by Name removed by the NSA November 15, 2013