The manliest person on earth
Facts about Chuck Norris:
-Chuck Norris was born on may 6, 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered the next day.
(Look it up)
-Even after getting his ass kicked by Bruce Lee, he was still the manliest person on earth.
(He still is)
-When Chuck was only a few months old, he got sick and sneezed. That sneeze is now known as Hiroshima.
When he was in his 20's, he sneezed again. That sneeze is now known as Tsar Bomba.
-There was once actually life on mars. Then there was Chuck Norris on mars.
-Many people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
-Chuck Norris won a staring contest with Slenderman.
-Most people cut butter with a knife. Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
-Chuck Norris once played a game of russian roulette with all the bullets in (and went first). He won.
-Chuck Norris was once bitten by a snake. The snake died 2 days later.
-Whenever Chuck Norris steps on a Lego, the Lego cries.
-Chuck Norris acted in Star Wars. His role was the Force.
-Chuck Norris has a gmail account. It is:
gmail@chucknorris(dot)com
-Chuck Norris does not do push-ups; he just pushes the earth down.
-Under his beard, there is only another fist.
- Before the boogyman goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
-When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into a Chuck Norris.
-Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.
-Chuck Norris does not need a GPS. He decides where he is.
Facts about Chuck Norris:
-Chuck Norris was born on may 6, 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered the next day.
(Look it up)
-Even after getting his ass kicked by Bruce Lee, he was still the manliest person on earth.
(He still is)
-When Chuck was only a few months old, he got sick and sneezed. That sneeze is now known as Hiroshima.
When he was in his 20's, he sneezed again. That sneeze is now known as Tsar Bomba.
-There was once actually life on mars. Then there was Chuck Norris on mars.
-Many people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
-Chuck Norris won a staring contest with Slenderman.
-Most people cut butter with a knife. Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
-Chuck Norris once played a game of russian roulette with all the bullets in (and went first). He won.
-Chuck Norris was once bitten by a snake. The snake died 2 days later.
-Whenever Chuck Norris steps on a Lego, the Lego cries.
-Chuck Norris acted in Star Wars. His role was the Force.
-Chuck Norris has a gmail account. It is:
gmail@chucknorris(dot)com
-Chuck Norris does not do push-ups; he just pushes the earth down.
-Under his beard, there is only another fist.
- Before the boogyman goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
-When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into a Chuck Norris.
-Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.
-Chuck Norris does not need a GPS. He decides where he is.
by Name removed by the NSA December 11, 2013
Get the Chuck Norrismug. Atheist: religion is the biggest lie in the history of humankind *insert rest of shitfest*
Normal person: how about you just let me believe what I want to believe?
Atheist: *mind explodes*
Normal person: how about you just let me believe what I want to believe?
Atheist: *mind explodes*
by Name removed by the NSA December 09, 2013
Get the Religionmug. by Name removed by the NSA January 03, 2014
Get the The NSAmug. by Name removed by the NSA November 15, 2013
Get the Firecrackermug. by Name removed by the NSA December 07, 2013
Get the Urban dictionarymug. Ewoks are teddy-bear like creatures from Star Wars that live on the planet Endor.
But do not be fooled by their cuteness. These badass little motherfuckers will fuck you up. And just when you think they're done fucking you up, they'll fuck you up again.
There is a reason why you don't see any other animals on Endor; because the Ewoks fucking killed them all. And the ones that they didn't kill are too scared of getting their fucking skins ripped off to show themselves. Nothing on Endor breathes without the Ewoks' permission. Once, they found a Jedi, and they tried to COOK HIM. Then, they encountered an entire legion of the Empire's best troops, and they kicked their asses using nothing but rocks, logs, and a few catapults.
Never mess with an Ewok. They will kill you, and play drums with your FUCKING SKULL. At least, if one of 'em doesn't decide to use it as a HAT.
But do not be fooled by their cuteness. These badass little motherfuckers will fuck you up. And just when you think they're done fucking you up, they'll fuck you up again.
There is a reason why you don't see any other animals on Endor; because the Ewoks fucking killed them all. And the ones that they didn't kill are too scared of getting their fucking skins ripped off to show themselves. Nothing on Endor breathes without the Ewoks' permission. Once, they found a Jedi, and they tried to COOK HIM. Then, they encountered an entire legion of the Empire's best troops, and they kicked their asses using nothing but rocks, logs, and a few catapults.
Never mess with an Ewok. They will kill you, and play drums with your FUCKING SKULL. At least, if one of 'em doesn't decide to use it as a HAT.
by Name removed by the NSA January 03, 2014
Get the Ewoksmug. 1. What the hell? Dude, look at this red water!
2. If you walk into red water, it will give you a health boost *snicker snicker*
3. I can't come to your party, sorry. The red water's flowing, if you know what I mean..
2. If you walk into red water, it will give you a health boost *snicker snicker*
3. I can't come to your party, sorry. The red water's flowing, if you know what I mean..
by Name removed by the NSA December 17, 2013
Get the Red Watermug.