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Definitions by Name removed by the NSA

Anal cavity search 

What airport security officers do to you if you blink wrong.

Imagine a group of people putting gloves on and taking turns shoving it really far up your ass.
Airport cop: Name?

b: {very arabic name}

Airport cop: Come with me, please.

b: God dammit, it's an anal cavity search, isn't it?

Airport cop: Don't worry, we're only violating a COUPLE of your rights..

*glove snaps*
Ewoks are teddy-bear like creatures from Star Wars that live on the planet Endor.

But do not be fooled by their cuteness. These badass little motherfuckers will fuck you up. And just when you think they're done fucking you up, they'll fuck you up again.

There is a reason why you don't see any other animals on Endor; because the Ewoks fucking killed them all. And the ones that they didn't kill are too scared of getting their fucking skins ripped off to show themselves. Nothing on Endor breathes without the Ewoks' permission. Once, they found a Jedi, and they tried to COOK HIM. Then, they encountered an entire legion of the Empire's best troops, and they kicked their asses using nothing but rocks, logs, and a few catapults.

Never mess with an Ewok. They will kill you, and play drums with your FUCKING SKULL. At least, if one of 'em doesn't decide to use it as a HAT.
a: Oh look, Ewoks!

Ewoks: Oh look, dinner!
Ewoks by Name removed by the NSA January 3, 2014

Fucktardia 

Fucktardia is a far-off, magical land filled with wonderous works of stupidity, and great triumphs of brianlessness.

To get there, one must sail across the sea of stupidity, journey through the facepalm forest, climb the mountains of dumbassery, cross the river of retardation, and you will come upon the land of Fucktardia.

Fucktardia has a diverse and surprisingly large population. The largest city in the land of Fucktardia is its capitol; Fucktardingtonsworthingham.

The great city of Fucktardingtonsworthingham is a beautiful city, with many famous landmarks, including the Cathedral of Atheism, the Sara Palin monument, and, most importantly, the palace of the king of Fucktardia.

The king of Fucktardia is descended from a royal line of only the most stupid, null-minded, mind-bogglingly fucktarded. It is law, however, that if one can prove himself more fucktarded than the king, they will be crowned king of Fucktardia. George W. Bush did so in 2003.

The people of Fucktardia are called Fucktards, who speak Fucktarded, which is a language very similar to english, but lacks grammatical structure or proper syntax. 99% of the population practices the religion of Fucktardary. The other religion practiced by the remaining 1% is Atheism, because everyone knows that it's a religion. (Duh)
a. I just got back from my vacation in Fucktardia.

b. How was it?

a. Very enlightening. I'm thinking about going into politics.

everyone on the internet

Either creeps or illiterates, usually both.
Everyone on the internet duz not no how 2 spell.

banana seeds 

1. Seeds of the Banana fruit

2. Semen
1. When I was young, I was so picky I would try to take out all the banana seeds from the banana.

2. I planted some banana seeds in her last night.
1. Water that happens to be red

2. A Minecraft joke referring to lava

3. A girl's period
1. What the hell? Dude, look at this red water!

2. If you walk into red water, it will give you a health boost *snicker snicker*

3. I can't come to your party, sorry. The red water's flowing, if you know what I mean..
Red Water by Name removed by the NSA December 17, 2013