5 definition by Muscoffo

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Etsy--an Italian word referring to overpriced junk and cheap, trashy, idiotic or otherwise useless items that are resold as "handmade" or "vintage" but are really bought from discount retailers, dollar stores, WalMart, and wholesale Chinese websites. A small percentage of items is actually handmade, like bracelets meticulously crafted by running a string through five beads bought at Hobby Lobby for .49 cents and then resold to suckers as "fine handmade jewelry" for a 2700% markup. "Vintage" items are anything weathered, rusted, stained with dog or cat urine, faded, or counterfeited in Chinese sweat shops, that can be pawned off on unsuspecting suckers. Etsy goods are often made by delusional assholes with no artistic talent whatsoever, and yet they have enormous egos and actually believe their friends who tell them "you are so talanted!" when, in reality, their friends feel sorry for them and think they are complete morons. Sometimes this word also refers to cheap trinkets--like shiny keychains--found in Italian gettos and then resold to American tourists who think they are getting some valuable work of art handcrafted by an Italian master. Etsy can also imply idiot pieces made by art posers. Art critics sometimes use the word etsy word when referring to idiot pieces made by celebrity art posers like Jeff Koons.
"Hey, Leonardo, how much etsy did you pawn off today to those stupid Americans?"

"Dude, this shit is complete etsy! I can't believe you paid $42.95 for it. My wife bought this exact item at The Dollart Store for .79 cents!"

"Oh man, this gallery sucks. What a bunch of etsy! Fucking art posers."
by Muscoffo July 20, 2015

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Being caught in the act of masturbating.
Chad got spoojacked when his mom came home early from work.
by Muscoffo July 21, 2015

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A restroom break, usually 15 minutes or more, in which an employee takes a long, leisurely shit, relishing the fact that it is on company time and he is being paid for it.
"Have you seen Corey? We need to get these orders out today." "He's in the bathroom, taking a crosby."

Man, I am sick of working for this company. Time to go take a crosby.
by Muscoffo July 21, 2015

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Someone who completely lacks any artistic talent or creativity whatsoever. Always talking about themselves and their "work", these people go to great lengths to appear as real artists. Art posers have never had an original thought or idea in their lives but act as though everything they do is groundbreaking and original. They always hang together in little cliques and are highly suspicious of any "outsider"--particularly real artists who might expose them for what they really are. The titles of their "work" are always pretentious and completely meaningless; for example, a grey canvas with a small pink spot in one corner, titled "The Juxtaposition of Random Gratification #109." The lengthy descriptions they give of their "work" consist of rambling pseudointellectual bullshit that took 25 times the amount of time to compose than the actual piece itself; this is to compensate for the fact that the work only took 15 minutes to make, with no artistic ability at all. Art posers are typically so delusional that they don't realize how delusional they are. Art posers always worship Andy Warhol and strive to be just like him. Art posers often stand around in galleries, pretending to find deep meaning in other art posers' work. They frequently use the word "ambiguous" and will spend half an hour offering a pseudointellectual analysis of a grey, or blank canvas. Art posers have been known to mistake light switches in galleries as part of the sculptural exhibit.
Tasha is such an art poser.

This gallery sucks, what a bunch of art posers!
by Muscoffo July 22, 2015

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"Etsy"--an Italian word for Chinese junk bought at The Dollar Store and then sprinkled with glitter or decoupaged with cheap wrapping paper and then resold at a 2300% markup to morons who think they are buying a "handmade" item or, even more laughable, art.
Hey, Pietro, you still sellin' etsy to people who think they buyin' art?
by Muscoffo July 22, 2015

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