Mr. Softey's definitions
The perplexing conundrums that arise from leaving evidence of a recent masturbation session laying about.
Conrad: Holy crap! We've got to go back to the apartment before Pam wakes up, I forgot I left a bunch of used kleenex by the computer!
Farnsworth: Hey, your tissue issues aren't going to make me late to work, Sgt. Spank-o-tron!
Farnsworth: Hey, your tissue issues aren't going to make me late to work, Sgt. Spank-o-tron!
by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009
Get the tissue issuesmug. The perpetually unemployed guy at the union hall who never gets off the bench to take a job call.
The endless act of sitting has given him "Squarenuts".
The endless act of sitting has given him "Squarenuts".
Biff: You'll never guess who I saw at the hall today.
Happy: Not old Squarenuts?
Biff: Yep, has that guy ever worked?
Happy: Hells no.
Biff: Good old Squarenuts.
Happy: Not old Squarenuts?
Biff: Yep, has that guy ever worked?
Happy: Hells no.
Biff: Good old Squarenuts.
by Mr. Softey January 28, 2009
Get the Squarenutsmug. Filling a plastic spoon with the syrup from canned peaches and launching it on the unsuspecting lunchroom.
Mauro: For the love of God! Mystery meat and peaches again!
Heath: Grab your umbrella, because the forecast calls for the extremely unheralded return of the Peach Rain!
Mauro: Say what now?
Heath: Incoming!
Mauro: God, I love the smell of Peach Rain in the morning!
Heath: True dat!
Mauro: Word to my niggas!
Heath: Say What now?
Heath: Grab your umbrella, because the forecast calls for the extremely unheralded return of the Peach Rain!
Mauro: Say what now?
Heath: Incoming!
Mauro: God, I love the smell of Peach Rain in the morning!
Heath: True dat!
Mauro: Word to my niggas!
Heath: Say What now?
by Mr. Softey January 25, 2009
Get the Peach Rainmug. When you reverse tit fuck an Asian girl, same as a Cincinnati Bowtie, but with an Asian slant to it, if you will.
How about we head to my place for drinks and a little Cincinnati Pad Thai?
>>Me love you long time, Joe!
>>Me love you long time, Joe!
by Mr. Softey January 28, 2009
Get the Cincinnati Pad Thaimug. whore #1: I don't think I can sit down after what that last John did to me!
whore#2: Whatchoo gonna do 'bout it?
whore#1: Child, I'm taking this cornbread and getting me some Tucks.
whore#2: Shee-oot!
whore#2: Whatchoo gonna do 'bout it?
whore#1: Child, I'm taking this cornbread and getting me some Tucks.
whore#2: Shee-oot!
by Mr. Softey January 25, 2009
Get the cornbreadmug. Tonight's spankathon is brought to you in part by the makers of KY, and the good people at Barely Legal. With funding in part by the Kleenex corporation.
by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009
Get the spankathonmug. The opposite of a gravy train job where you do nothing all day, a biscuit train usually requires full effort.
"I'm gettin' too old to be riding this biscuit train everyday!"
I'm dead tired from riding the biscuit train all day.
"Suck it up boys! We're on a biscuit train with gravy wheels!"
I'm dead tired from riding the biscuit train all day.
"Suck it up boys! We're on a biscuit train with gravy wheels!"
by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009
Get the Biscuit Trainmug.