Mr. Cardboard's definitions

beereakfast

Beer for breakfast.

Dude 1: Congrats on finally getting a job.

Dude 2: Thanks, I'm sure gonna miss having beereakfast though.

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011

Audrey Hollander

The most epic porn star the world has ever seen. Hardcore wasn't good enough for her, no no, she had to invent supercore. Belladonna was top turkey for a long time, but then Audrey came along, crapped cum into her own mouth and swallowed it. Nobody can top that.

"If you could sleep with anyone, living or dead, who would you sleep with?"

"Audrey Hollander. Alive."

by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011

couch pillows

A bizzare expression used by some people to describe the small, square cushions placed on a couch to enhance it's comfort and aesthetics, as opposed to the larger cushions which form the seat and are hence integral to the couch.

They're not "couch pillows", they're CUSHIONS. Pillows are what you rest your head on while you sleep, cry into when you're a teenage girl or bite when you get fucked in the ass - but only when the aforementioned events happen IN BED.

From Step Brothers (2008):

Richard Jenkins: "Dale sleepwalks too."
Mary Steenburgen: "Are you kidding me?"
Richard Jenkins: "I'm not. Look in the oven."
Mary Steenburgen: "What's in the...couch pillows?"

by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011

irish chicken

An accidental theoretical construct in the brain of someone who is not paying full attention to the conversation.

Dude 1: I was in O'Neills last night and there was this gorgeous Irish chick in there.

Dude 2: What's an Irish chicken?

by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011

angry tramp

Cocktail, also known as a bullseye. Consists of 50% red wine, 50% red bull, though more commonly red rooster is used instead of red bull as it is way cheaper.

The best fucking drink in the world to get fucked up on, but causing you to shout incoherently at traffic - hence the name.

Dude 1: Did you just pour red rooster into your wine?

Dude 2: Yeah, it's an angry tramp. Try some.

Dude 1: (tries drink) wow, that's fuckin awesome. Can I have one?

(2 hours later)

Dude 1: fuckin... CARS! I'll give you... somethin to beep about. Yeah BEEP BEEP. I remember, I was... This way? Yes.

by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011

McFucktard

1. A low-level employee of McDonalds or any other generic fast-food outlet.

2. An extremely stupid person, more fucktarded than a regular fucktard.

3. A fucktard's offspring, as the prefix 'Mc' means 'son of' in Scottish.

Customer: "Big Mac and fries please."

McFucktard: "Do you want fries with that?"

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011

time machine

A sizeable stash of pornography built up over several decades, enabling you to relive the experiences of people who masturbated in those times.

Will Ferrell: "I still hate you, but you've got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags."

John C. Reilly: "Yeah, I got them from the '70's, '80's and '90's. It's like masturbating in a time machine."

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011