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Mr. Cardboard's definitions

drunkover

When you drink so much that instead of waking up with a hangover, you wake up still drunk.
"Hey can you give me a lift home?"

"Sorry sweetie but I'm still drunkover from last night. Why don't you give me a blowie so I can sleep it off?"
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
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white wine

The teenage girl's kryptonite.
Stacey never paid me much attention even though I'd wanted to bang her since the 3rd grade, she was always so prim and proper. Then last Friday night I bumped into her at the bar and being a gentleman I offered her a drink.

4 white wines later she turned into Audrey Hollander it was like Jekyll and Hyde, but with sex.
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
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long distance relationship

Theoretical construct to continue having sex with someone who is hot but lives far away and is not worth moving for, but is worth visiting from time to time for a change from all the regular sex you are getting.
Dude 1: I heard Stacey moved away to go to university, sucks for you.

Dude 2: Psh I just told her we'd have a long distance relationship.

Dude 1: I like your style.
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
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bacon

The labia of the vagina.

Inner or outer and ranging in appearance from tiny and tidy, through streaky, to full medallions and at the extreme - pieces which someone has attempted to chew, choked on and had to be Heimliched and kept in hospital overnight as a precaution.
I was reading the Victoria's Secret catalogue trying to pick my favourite model, one of them was far more beautiful than the rest but you could tell she had excessive bacon and it made the process so much more taxing.
by Mr. Cardboard July 24, 2012
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beereakfast

Dude 1: Congrats on finally getting a job.

Dude 2: Thanks, I'm sure gonna miss having beereakfast though.
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
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Audrey Hollander

The most epic porn star the world has ever seen. Hardcore wasn't good enough for her, no no, she had to invent supercore. Belladonna was top turkey for a long time, but then Audrey came along, crapped cum into her own mouth and swallowed it. Nobody can top that.
"If you could sleep with anyone, living or dead, who would you sleep with?"

"Audrey Hollander. Alive."
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
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WANKER

1) Someone who loves themselves so much that masturbation isn't enough self-love for them, so they publicise their imaginary greatness by appearing on reality TV shows, or failing that, add entries to definition websites describing people with their name as somehow better than everyone else. See also: narcissist.

2) Basically the same as 1) above but a narcissist who, having had their pride bruised by someone, decides it is a mature and reasonable course of action to define aforementioned person on a definition website with details of said infidelity plus various fabrications about their sexual and/or culinary desires. Someone who publicly blames their own inadequacies on someone else.
I was on Urban Dictionary last night voting on the latest definitions, and I couldn't believe how many wankers there were trying to big themselves up or put someone down.
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
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