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Mr. Cardboard's definitions

drunkover

When you drink so much that instead of waking up with a hangover, you wake up still drunk.
"Hey can you give me a lift home?"

"Sorry sweetie but I'm still drunkover from last night. Why don't you give me a blowie so I can sleep it off?"
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
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long distance relationship

Theoretical construct to continue having sex with someone who is hot but lives far away and is not worth moving for, but is worth visiting from time to time for a change from all the regular sex you are getting.
Dude 1: I heard Stacey moved away to go to university, sucks for you.

Dude 2: Psh I just told her we'd have a long distance relationship.

Dude 1: I like your style.
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
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marmalade

The natural lubricant of the anus, designed to enable shit to slide out more easily but which also facilitates the insertion of golf balls.
"I was holding in a shit all last period but it turned out to just be a huge fart, however I wiped anyway in case some marmalade had come out."
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
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white wine

The teenage girl's kryptonite.
Stacey never paid me much attention even though I'd wanted to bang her since the 3rd grade, she was always so prim and proper. Then last Friday night I bumped into her at the bar and being a gentleman I offered her a drink.

4 white wines later she turned into Audrey Hollander it was like Jekyll and Hyde, but with sex.
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
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bacon

The labia of the vagina.

Inner or outer and ranging in appearance from tiny and tidy, through streaky, to full medallions and at the extreme - pieces which someone has attempted to chew, choked on and had to be Heimliched and kept in hospital overnight as a precaution.
I was reading the Victoria's Secret catalogue trying to pick my favourite model, one of them was far more beautiful than the rest but you could tell she had excessive bacon and it made the process so much more taxing.
by Mr. Cardboard July 24, 2012
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PA

Ponce: Schedule a meeting through my PA.

Human: PA?

Ponce: Personal Assistant.

Human: You mean your assistant?
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
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mousepraneense

To mispronounce a word or phrase.
A: "That's so banal."

B: "I think you are mousepraneenseing that word."
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
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