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Mr. Cardboard's definitions

couch pillows

A bizzare expression used by some people to describe the small, square cushions placed on a couch to enhance it's comfort and aesthetics, as opposed to the larger cushions which form the seat and are hence integral to the couch.

They're not "couch pillows", they're CUSHIONS. Pillows are what you rest your head on while you sleep, cry into when you're a teenage girl or bite when you get fucked in the ass - but only when the aforementioned events happen IN BED.
From Step Brothers (2008):

Richard Jenkins: "Dale sleepwalks too."
Mary Steenburgen: "Are you kidding me?"
Richard Jenkins: "I'm not. Look in the oven."
Mary Steenburgen: "What's in the...couch pillows?"
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
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irish chicken

An accidental theoretical construct in the brain of someone who is not paying full attention to the conversation.
Dude 1: I was in O'Neills last night and there was this gorgeous Irish chick in there.

Dude 2: What's an Irish chicken?
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
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WANKER

1) Someone who loves themselves so much that masturbation isn't enough self-love for them, so they publicise their imaginary greatness by appearing on reality TV shows, or failing that, add entries to definition websites describing people with their name as somehow better than everyone else. See also: narcissist.

2) Basically the same as 1) above but a narcissist who, having had their pride bruised by someone, decides it is a mature and reasonable course of action to define aforementioned person on a definition website with details of said infidelity plus various fabrications about their sexual and/or culinary desires. Someone who publicly blames their own inadequacies on someone else.
I was on Urban Dictionary last night voting on the latest definitions, and I couldn't believe how many wankers there were trying to big themselves up or put someone down.
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
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angry tramp

Cocktail, also known as a bullseye. Consists of 50% red wine, 50% red bull, though more commonly red rooster is used instead of red bull as it is way cheaper.

The best fucking drink in the world to get fucked up on, but causing you to shout incoherently at traffic - hence the name.
Dude 1: Did you just pour red rooster into your wine?

Dude 2: Yeah, it's an angry tramp. Try some.

Dude 1: (tries drink) wow, that's fuckin awesome. Can I have one?

(2 hours later)

Dude 1: fuckin... CARS! I'll give you... somethin to beep about. Yeah BEEP BEEP. I remember, I was... This way? Yes.
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
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Audrey Hollander

The most epic porn star the world has ever seen. Hardcore wasn't good enough for her, no no, she had to invent supercore. Belladonna was top turkey for a long time, but then Audrey came along, crapped cum into her own mouth and swallowed it. Nobody can top that.
"If you could sleep with anyone, living or dead, who would you sleep with?"

"Audrey Hollander. Alive."
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
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beereakfast

Dude 1: Congrats on finally getting a job.

Dude 2: Thanks, I'm sure gonna miss having beereakfast though.
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
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jack

Suffix meaning "to steal", generally applied to a vehicle or situation. Originates from the word hijack but bastardised for comic effect.
Dude 1: I was gonna go for a crap but someone's running a bath.

Dude 2: You should have jacked it.

Dude 1: Bathjacking?
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
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