19 definitions by Mr. Softey

A marathon masturbation session.
Tonight's spankathon is brought to you in part by the makers of KY, and the good people at Barely Legal. With funding in part by the Kleenex corporation.
by Mr. Softey February 03, 2009
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One who is planning to shave or trim their pubic hair.
Josh: I'm thinking of waxing off the magic wand.
Buck: It's about time Hairy Plotter!
Josh: Silence "He who must not be wanged"!
Buck: Say what now?
by Mr. Softey January 30, 2009
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Calling in sick to work for a gay reason.
>> Why aren't you getting dressed? Don't you have to leave for work in 20 minutes?
<< I'm thinking of calling in gay so I can catch a matinee of "Benjamin Button".
by Mr. Softey February 03, 2009
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The perplexing conundrums that arise from leaving evidence of a recent masturbation session laying about.
Conrad: Holy crap! We've got to go back to the apartment before Pam wakes up, I forgot I left a bunch of used kleenex by the computer!
Farnsworth: Hey, your tissue issues aren't going to make me late to work, Sgt. Spank-o-tron!
by Mr. Softey February 03, 2009
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The perpetually unemployed guy at the union hall who never gets off the bench to take a job call.
The endless act of sitting has given him "Squarenuts".
Biff: You'll never guess who I saw at the hall today.
Happy: Not old Squarenuts?
Biff: Yep, has that guy ever worked?
Happy: Hells no.
Biff: Good old Squarenuts.
by Mr. Softey January 28, 2009
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