Monkey's Dad's definitions

The Rifle Tower

America's answer to France's Eiffel Tower, our national phallus. Unlike the Eiffel, this monument to cultural pride is fluid in its location, arising in Newtown, El Paso, Parkland, Orlando, Las Vegas and who-knows-where next, making it easy for foreign tourists to get a taste of our country's zest for a liberty that shall not be infringed.

Jacques, he send me une Carte Postale from Etats Unis, photo only of guy in a cap rouge, Making America Great, holding straight up, his erection shape like AR-15, The Rifle Tower. From cold dead fingers we will take it? Non merci. Mon Dieu.

by Monkey's Dad September 9, 2019

Spell-Czech Republic

Where ordinary words go to be reborn.

Dictating while driving and doing her nails, her text said that she was happy with her new high bridge Toyota Penis. Could she give him a shocking lisp? If he would pick up a few ripe tornadoes and parrots she could cook his favorite vaginal soup.

He didn't even try to translate. Once again she had crossed the border into the Spell-Czech Republic.

by Monkey's Dad December 10, 2020

simultaneous snoregasm

Profoundly peaceful sleep shared by a couple after lovemaking.

Feeling what he knew would be her final orgasm of the night, he joined her, in perfect sync, and they fell into a state of simultaneous snoregasm, neither of them stirring until sunrise.

by Monkey's Dad February 27, 2020

YaM

You and Me. Oneness with another soul, all that needs to be said

It was one of those moments where all separation between them seemed to have evaporated. He searched for words, could find none and simply wrote YaM

by Monkey's Dad December 7, 2022

Schmogul

A highly successful, powerful person who has somehow remained a jerk.

Check out the schmogul at the corner table. Yes, that's really him, and yes, he's eating sushi with a fork.

by Monkey's Dad September 2, 2019

resilify

To increase resilience and enhance immunity.

After her double nursing shift, she was exhausted, anxious and hungry, all making her vulnerable. She hoped that a good dinner and a night's sleep would help her resilify, as she was going to need her strength tomorrow.

by Monkey's Dad March 18, 2020

Fix News

The far-right junkie's daily injection of toxic fantasy and rage.

He needed it bad, needed it now! now! startin' to shake 'n where's the remote? Where is my Goddamned remote?! Ping! and oh, right there! Hannity!!... ahhhhh... there... my Fix News, okay man, rigged, fraud, reverse the election, dead voters, Venezuelan ballots and man-made covid 'cause Melania takes her mask off in the goddamned children's hospital and the kids do not get sick and die, one kleenex and so what?! not over, man, not over, second term landslide starts inauguration day... better now, so... much......... better.

by Monkey's Dad December 20, 2020