I'll wait here

When spoken to a man, by a woman, who is seated comfortably in the front seat of a car, on a rainy day, outside Starbucks, translates into English as: Venti Cappuccino with almond milk and a vanilla bean pastry, please.
I'll wait here.
by Monkey's Dad December 24, 2019
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postcognitive

Knowledge which arrives after it might have. Seeing something clearly, once it has passed. Understanding everything just a bit too late.

The opposite of precognitive.
He knew the answer he should have given in the job interview, saw why Dianah had left him for the plumber, understood that the X-Ray Specs ad was probably bogus, and as always, his understanding was postcognitive.
by Monkey's Dad March 03, 2020
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impeccably ill-mannered

The quality of knowing how to offend and alienate as many people, in as short a time, as possible.
He was their new neighbor, so comprehensively offensive to everybody that within a couple of weeks of his arrival he was a laughing stock. No one wanted him there. No one was speaking to him, or ever would. He had trained hard to become what he was - impeccably ill-mannered. It was a talent given to few.
by Monkey's Dad May 11, 2021
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carnivirus

Virus afflicting carnivores, slaughterhouse workers and meat processors, potentially transmitted to humans by animals.
He knew they were getting sick and dying in disproportionate numbers, but he would think about the carnivirus after he finished his bucket of spicy wings.
by Monkey's Dad May 20, 2020
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#tags? #what tags?

The tags which mysteriously no longer appear under definitions and usage, on Urban Dictionary entries.
He looked at his hundreds of long-standing definitions. "Where are my tags?" he asked. #tags? #what tags? he answered himself. "There were never any tags on Urban Dictionary. You must have been dreaming."
by Monkey's Dad August 02, 2020
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A phrase often heard as 2020 nears its end and people are forced to acknowledge some very strange things.
To have the family home for Thanksgiving would be suicidal, and I never thought I'd be saying this.

I never thought I'd be saying this, but we came within an inch of losing our democracy.
by Monkey's Dad November 19, 2020
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The Halls of Epidemia

As she logged in to her Tuesday morning creative writing seminar, she looked around at the Halls of Epidemia, which looked almost exactly like her bedroom.
by Monkey's Dad April 06, 2020
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