Disturbin' Dictionary

A compendium of definitions for all the words you do not want to think about in a time of crisis.

Pandemic, contagion, death rate, infections, coronation, coronaviral, isolution... they kept appearing in the Disturbin' Dictionary when he was just looking for a laugh.

by Monkey's Dad March 21, 2020

ICEolation

The condition of migrant families held in detention during the pandemic.

They seem all-but forgotten, many thousands of innocent people still being held in ICEolation, parents and children separated from each other, crowded and unable to keep any distance, now at extreme risk for contracting COVID-19.

by Monkey's Dad April 19, 2020

innocential worker

An innocent and essential employee, placed at serious risk of viral infection in their workplace.

Customers refused to wear masks, citing their 'freedom', unconcerned with the lives of the innocential workers who had no choice but to serve them.

by Monkey's Dad May 13, 2020

Girlie Bird

A self-consciously hyper-feminized young woman

"The Girlie Bird catches the worm" muttered Tiff to herself, as she put the final touches on her makeup, earrings, hair, stilettos, cleavage and hemline, before heading to the bar.

by Monkey's Dad November 30, 2019

Spell-Czech Republic

Where ordinary words go to be reborn.

Dictating while driving and doing her nails, her text said that she was happy with her new high bridge Toyota Penis. Could she give him a shocking lisp? If he would pick up a few ripe tornadoes and parrots she could cook his favorite vaginal soup.

He didn't even try to translate. Once again she had crossed the border into the Spell-Czech Republic.

by Monkey's Dad December 10, 2020

The Rifle Tower

America's answer to France's Eiffel Tower, our national phallus. Unlike the Eiffel, this monument to cultural pride is fluid in its location, arising in Newtown, El Paso, Parkland, Orlando, Las Vegas and who-knows-where next, making it easy for foreign tourists to get a taste of our country's zest for a liberty that shall not be infringed.

Jacques, he send me une Carte Postale from Etats Unis, photo only of guy in a cap rouge, Making America Great, holding straight up, his erection shape like AR-15, The Rifle Tower. From cold dead fingers we will take it? Non merci. Mon Dieu.

by Monkey's Dad September 09, 2019

YaM

You and Me. Oneness with another soul, all that needs to be said

It was one of those moments where all separation between them seemed to have evaporated. He searched for words, could find none and simply wrote YaM

by Monkey's Dad December 07, 2022