Her Majesty / High Maintenance. "Allow me to inform your uppity blonde self that we ain't even got no damn grapefruit juice to splash in your damn Sex on the Beach and same applies to whatever your pet monkey drinkin' too."
by Monkey's Dad November 23, 2022
Get the HM mug.She was so done with lockdown. Everyone was heading for the church and she was going to attend that reviral meeting and praise His name.
by Monkey's Dad May 03, 2020
Get the Reviral Meeting mug.Another day of phone and computer, without human touch or eye contact, and she felt an aching virtual vacuum.
by Monkey's Dad April 13, 2020
Get the virtual vacuum mug.After being "liberated" by its governor, Georgia reported nearly 1,000 new Covid-19 cases in the past 24 hours.
Thinking not of its reopened tattoo parlors, bowling alleys and nail salons, but of all those who would inevitably sicken and suffer, kept Georgia on my mind this morning.
by Monkey's Dad May 01, 2020
Get the Georgia on my Mind mug.Distance and driving time, alternate routes, gas consumption, it was travel porn, as forbidden as his previous kinks had been, not long ago.
by Monkey's Dad March 22, 2020
Get the travel porn mug.The validation of Einstein's theory of relativity, in which the concept of five minutes is infinitely elastic, and feminine.
by Monkey's Dad April 22, 2023
Get the I'll be ready in 5 minutes mug.A rarified skillset needed to deal with the mundane, the meaningless, the growing piles of junk and the demands of ordering still more stuff that occupy the day and often pass for a full life.
Sitting on the bed, staring at yet another emerging bedside volcano, she was confident she could summon the craptitude to conquer, organize and move on to higher callings... "just give me five minutes".
by Monkey's Dad April 15, 2023
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