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Monkey's Dad's definitions

complain't

A complaint that isn't.

An actor's lament that while he could recently walk the streets unnoticed, fans now come up to him for selfies.
Her complain't that men looked desirously upon her when she entered a room would, in a few years time, become a genuine complaint that no one looked anymore.
by Monkey's Dad April 4, 2020
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Texazuela

Oil prices fall below zero, Texas, the nation's leading crude oil producer, looks in the mirror and sees Venezuela.
Once unimaginable, today US oil prices plunged to minus $40 a barrel, and Texazuela may face economic collapse.
by Monkey's Dad April 20, 2020
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teaching your dog to drive

A polite suggestion that someone has admirable faith while being out of touch with reality.
"Brilliant idea, truly, but you're teaching your dog to drive."
by Monkey's Dad March 31, 2020
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Blogjam

Intellectual immobilization from following too many influencers with too much to say.
He awoke to another early-morning blogjam, so much verbiage, so little time.
by Monkey's Dad November 25, 2019
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Star Spangled Boner

The never-released 1981 porn flick starring John Holmes as President Ronald Reagan, screened privately every Fourth of July for a handful of top-tier Republicans at The Bohemian Grove, their tightly-guarded summer enclave in the Northern California Redwoods.
He'd figured it was an urban legend, but there it was, July 4th in the Grove's outdoor amphitheater, "Star Spangled Boner".
by Monkey's Dad March 25, 2020
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gokd

OK, verging on good.
"How are you?" she asked.
"Ok" he replied.
"Good, or just ok?"
"Gokd".
by Monkey's Dad August 21, 2021
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Anxiety-Tornado

A sweeping, fast moving state of anxiety that arrives without warning and takes everything in its path with it.
He had made an offhand remark, a minor joke, but to her it incited an anxiety-tornado, swirling, uprooting, splintering and lifting her sense of security with it until she felt herself to be an emotionally wrecked trailer park. And like a tornado, it passed and calm was once again restored.
by Monkey's Dad August 15, 2021
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