speed of light

Like really fast.

MAN: Did that chick just dodge that punch in the speed of light?
MAN1: I'm afraid so.

by Miss. AnonymousPuns September 30, 2017

miracle of heaven

A good thing happens.

MAN: I just want a calzone right now, too bad I bought the latest COD game.
MAN2: Did anyone say Calzones?
MAN: Miracle of heaven!

by Miss. AnonymousPuns September 30, 2017

Boy zone

A man's private part.

MAN1: Man my no no part is way bigger than yours.
MAN2: No one cares about your non existing boy zone.

by Miss. AnonymousPuns October 01, 2017

son of a female dog

Appropriate manner of saying 'Son of a b****.'

MAN steals cookies from a WOMAN.
WOMAN: Hey! Come back here!
WOMAN: You son of a female dog!

by Miss. AnonymousPuns October 01, 2017

band aids don't fix bullet holes

When someone has been shot and band aids aren't the solution to the problem.

MAN1 shoots MAN2.
MAN2 drops to the floor and dies.
MAN1: Oh no you poor baby. Need a band aid?
MAN1: Oh wait band aids don't fix bullet holes.
MAN1: Haha i'm clever and you're dead.
MAN1: Rip bish.

by Miss. AnonymousPuns October 01, 2017

i see da bae

When you see the girl you like.

MAN1: Why do you always insist on hitting on girls who have boyfriends twice our size?
MAN2: I can't help the way I feel.
MAN2: When I see da bae. I go after da bae.

by Miss. AnonymousPuns October 01, 2017

Stranger Danger

Something used to say, every time a creep appears around you.

WOMAN is cleaning...
MAN enters room without her knowing.
MAN: Hi.
WOMAN turns around.
WOMAN: Stranger Danger!
MAN: Chill, it's only me!

by Miss. AnonymousPuns September 25, 2017