Max Biggins's definitions

Short Arse

Not quite midgets, not just short, but arrestingly diminutive (5' -5'5''). alternatively funny/ pathetic when confronted with a tall girl (above 5'8'') in a bar or club.

Frequenters of chain pubs and bars in provinical and coastal city centres.

Sindy: Hey, Babs, look at that little bloke with the popped collar chatting up your sister.

Barbie : he's having trouble looking her in the eye. wait, they're coming over.

Sindy: Don't stand up or you'll make him feel like a right Short Arse.

by Max Biggins November 18, 2012

Slut-stink

The pleasantly fishy emanations from the vulva of a well-endowed blonde slut in heat that cause olfactory delight and the involuntary twitching of the bishop's eyebrows.

'Barnabus, a most appetising fish course wafts through from the pantry. May I enquire as to what fruit of the sea we might feast upon this evening?'

'There's no fish course, it's just my playful niece Lucy's slut-stink. Most invigorating. More wine, Tristian?'

by Max Biggins August 3, 2012

Cunt

The after-dinner refreshment in a gentleman's club or society gathering.

'Geoffrey, I hear the Royal Society held a capital soiree, with the most exquisite selection of cunt. Not too pungent, or sloppy.'

'Indeed, Cavendish. The blonde niece of Barnabus was a particularly delectable morsel; tidy, clipped and with a dash of salty haddock. Father Roland almost wept.'

by Max Biggins August 3, 2012

Ticklish Slut

A good-looking young woman, usually blonde with large breasts, who pretends she doesn't want to be tickled, but makes sure her breasts wobble invitingly and her gusset ripens when she is.

'I say Barnabus, your niece Lucy seems unusually reluctant to let me ruffle the duster around her decolletage and gusset this afternoon.'

'Mock-protests of a ticklish slut, archdeacon Merryweather. Persist and you will be rewarded by squeals of joy, although you may try using the octopus from my study. Won't you have a sherry before your next attempt?'

by Max Biggins August 3, 2012

Women's Studies

Largely a load of superficial misandrist nonsense, dealing out platitudinous drivel about the obvious and obviously false. Taken seriously at Berkeley, but dismissed at decent universities.

'Hey dad, i'm thinking about taking women's studies at university next year.'

'What happened to philosophy, politics and economics, son?'

'Yeah right!...who wants to know about dead white men?!'

'i'll see you at the drive-thru.'

by Max Biggins August 3, 2012

Harlem Shake

Something else on the internet which gets trended on Twitter by 100 million chronic imbeciles and which I purposely avoid out of a seething contempt.

The wretched and unlettered; Ahh, there's a new viral/meme/craze on the internet. They're calling it the Harlem Shake.

The enlightened: I'm too busy reading Aeschylus, you gimp.

by Max Biggins July 27, 2013