Matua Kahurangi's definitions
A Māori-twisted take on fuckwit, used to describe someone who is acting like a premium-grade idiot, a muppet of the highest order, or a walking hazard to common sense. Reserved for those moments when someone’s behaviour is so cooked that normal insults simply won’t do.
“Some whūk wit parked across two spaces at Pak’nSave again.”
“The council must be run by a bunch of whūk wits if that’s their plan.”
“Bro, don’t be a whūk wit. Read the instructions.”
“The council must be run by a bunch of whūk wits if that’s their plan.”
“Bro, don’t be a whūk wit. Read the instructions.”
by Matua Kahurangi December 5, 2025
Get the Whūk wit mug.A uniquely Kiwi, Māori-twisted way of saying fucking, used to add extra spice, attitude, or emphasis to whatever someone is ranting about. Perfect for when regular swearing just doesn’t quite capture the full level of exasperation, disbelief or general cooked-ness of a situation in Aotearoa.
“Bro, the cops were moving whākn' slow today.”
“That hui was whākn' pointless.”
“Luxon’s speech was whākn' something, I’ll tell you that.”
“That hui was whākn' pointless.”
“Luxon’s speech was whākn' something, I’ll tell you that.”
by Matua Kahurangi December 5, 2025
Get the Whākn' mug.A chaotic fictional Kiwi icon created to take the absolute piss out of New Zealand’s sacred cows, double standards, culture wars and woke nonsense. Hori McGory is the bloke who turns up where he’s least wanted, says what no one else will say, and somehow survives long enough to star in another book. Equal parts satire, social commentary and unhinged children’s-book energy.
He wanders through New Zealand causing outrage, confusion and accidental enlightenment, exposing the absurdity of modern politics, bureaucracy and identity theatre along the way.
He wanders through New Zealand causing outrage, confusion and accidental enlightenment, exposing the absurdity of modern politics, bureaucracy and identity theatre along the way.
“That council meeting was straight out of a Hori McGory book.”
“Bro, this protest looks like Hori McGory organised it.”
“If Hori McGory wrote the school curriculum it might actually make sense.”
“Bro, this protest looks like Hori McGory organised it.”
“If Hori McGory wrote the school curriculum it might actually make sense.”
by Matua Kahurangi December 5, 2025
Get the Hori McGory mug.A situation, event, or performance that goes disastrously wrong, marked by confusion, failure, or embarrassment.
Her interview was a complete waka wreck, the kind you couldn’t look away from, and it only highlighted how out of her depth she was as a Māori leader trying to play politics.
by Matua Kahurangi August 31, 2025
Get the Waka wreck mug.A Māori-twisted version of fucked, used when something is properly ruined, broken, cooked, beyond saving, or just a total write-off. The word carries the same hopelessness and dramatic flair as the original, but with a distinctly Kiwi edge that makes the disaster sound almost poetic.
“My ute failed its WOF again. It’s absolutely whākt'.”
“Bro, the Greens are whākt' if they keep playing politics like that.”
“I opened the fridge and the milk was whākt'. Straight in the bin.”
“Bro, the Greens are whākt' if they keep playing politics like that.”
“I opened the fridge and the milk was whākt'. Straight in the bin.”
by Matua Kahurangi December 5, 2025
Get the Whākt' mug.