Mattj's definitions

J.O. and O.J.

Jerking off and orange juice; Masturbating in the morning (i.e. before breakfast).

Sorry I'm late, I was just finishing some J.O. and O.J.

by Mattj June 7, 2016

Squibly Skwobly

1. A term usually used by people under the influence of a mind altering drug (most commonly cannabis) to describe objects that resemble waves or curvy lines.
2. The name used to describe the emoticon :S

1. Man, the ceiling sure is squibly skwobly.
2. I drew a squibly skwobly on your face.

by mattj July 26, 2004

wibbly wobbly

see Squibly Skwobly

The floor is all wibbly wobbly

by mattj July 26, 2004

Granny's Candy

When an older woman (65 or older) squirts into an ice cube tray, freezes it, and gives it to a younger male, claiming it is hard candy.

Chris: Beatrice granny's candy-ed James the other day and he got so pissed.

Mike: (Twitter post) Just caught my grandma trying to give my friend some granny's candy. #squirtinyourmouth

by Mattj June 29, 2014

faauck

Like its four letter cousin but much more jocular, for use in non-serious but very annoying circumstances.

I just spilt coffee all over my keyboard, fell off my chair into a puddle of catsick and accidentally sent the text to my boss I was just writing to get out some feelings; fauuck. :(

by mattJ November 10, 2004

Y'allre

you+all+are; a word used to describe a group of people efficiently.

(to a group of ignorant people): Y'allre stupid

by Mattj May 28, 2016

Buttfaced

Similar to butt dialing, but with FaceTime

I just checked my phone and saw that I buttfaced my ex.

by Mattj October 10, 2016