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Matti! Matti! Matti!'s definitions

Ugly Day

A day on which all the people one meets are unattractive, despite the odds which say that half the people one meets will be attractive.
You're lucky you stayed home: it was Ugly Day at the gym today!
by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 22, 2010
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Clipboard of Power

A derogatory term for the petty bureaucrat's badge of office. It is held close to the chest and carries papers with information that is jealously guarded. It allows access to sensitive areas and gives the bearer authority to pry into the work being done by others. Often used for micromanagement and the application of "bureaucracy gone mad".
Line up your pencils everyone! Here comes Snottynose Snivelson with his Clipboard of Power.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! October 13, 2012
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procrasturbake

To waste time baking, especially treats like cupcakes, instead of being productive. From procrasturbate.
I should be writing my final essay but I think I'll procrasturbake instead.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! June 29, 2011
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Orphan's Christmas

A standard Christmas celebration held by people who aren't able to be with their birth families because they are overseas or have a difficult relationship with their family.

Often used by people who have been disowned by their parents, such as homosexuals who have escaped their conservative, small-town upbringing and moved to the more open-minded city.
"Tell everyone there's an Orphan's Christmas at mine this year. Bring a plate and the booze is on me!"
by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 25, 2011
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Japocalypse

The events in Japan following on from the earthquake of 11 March 2011, ie earthquake damage, tsunami damage, nuclear power plant damage, volcanic eruption, missing trains, massive destruction and climbing death toll.

From "japan" and "apocalypse".
Man, all they need are zombies and the Japocalypse would be complete.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! April 1, 2011
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woman

Female. Instead of being used as a noun (A woman with red hair) it has become and adjective, used as "lady" once was (A lady doctor).
Julia Gillard is Australia's first woman Prime Minister.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 20, 2011
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you can't get there from here

A situation where streets have been subject to so much traffic calming modification (eg fences, traffic lights, one way streets) that it is impossible to get to the place you want, even though you can see it clearly.
Tourist: "I want to go to that shop but there's nowhere to cross the street."
Local: "You can't get there from here. You have to go back the way you came to the traffic lights, cross over to the other side of the street, walk back this way, go past here, then three blocks down there's a pedestrian crossing, cross back to this side, and head back down this way."
Tourist: "That's ridiculous!"
Local: "Yeah, but what can you do?"
by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 15, 2013
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