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MagickDio's definitions

gAy Team

What the A team should have been called. When do you ever see a buff black dude dripping in gold chains and showing his nipples at every available opportunity unless you're in a gay bar? Couple that with an awful lot of time spent in a van, going from town to town with a bunch of skinny white guys. One is mentally disturbed because he can't deal with the fact that he's gay, one is the token gay pretty boy and the other is a silver haired, cigar smoking bloke that can only be described as perfect pimp material. Add that to the fact that none of them fancy or make a move on the reporter and voila! You've got a very dodgy gaymobile trawling the country for fresh meat.
"The A team is composed entirely of gay circus freaks. It's the gAy Team"

"This definition of The A team will enrage certain individuals, but seriously- what do you think happens between weekly episodes, huh? Guys have needs and they clearly need man ass. They're the gAy Team. Ha!"
by MagickDio February 26, 2010
mugGet the gAy Teammug.

Beer Bollocks

1) The total shit someone talks when they're drunk

2) The sudden surge of bravery one experiences when totally lashed
Well, look who's gone and got himself a pair of beer bollocks! Seb, they'll kill us both. Let's go and get a kebab
by MagickDio July 11, 2010
mugGet the Beer Bollocksmug.

Fnorg

A striped, many legged demon that usually resides in a Christmas tree and judges all who pass it by. Capable of delivering a harsh mind blow to those who do not believe in it. Your safety depends on respect for the Fnorg.
"Don't walk past that tree unless you want the Fnorg to twat your thoughts"
by MagickDio February 6, 2010
mugGet the Fnorgmug.

Team J.C

People that try to make christianity "cool" often refer to Jesus Christ as "J.C". It's an attempt to suck in as many kids and sinners as possible, owing to the fact that chavs and skanks have been naming their kids with just initials for the last 20 years. There is a handful of C.J's, A.J's, D.J's, J.D's and M.J's in every community. The J seems to be the key letter here. And claiming that they're on a "team" makes the possibility of hooliganism seem way more likely. Obviously, the idea is that the idiots will all flock to those on "Team J.C" thinking that they will be having an excellent time with a cool person if they join them.

What they do get is as much religious tea as they can drink, a few dry biscuits, people with soft and weak voices telling them that God loves them all and possible molestation and inappropriate behaviour from the Vicar and/or Choir Master.

They tend to recruit in non confrontational ways, like going up to some kids in town and asking them if they're having a good day, or on their way to a party before they give them a leaflet.

Those in charge of "Team J.C" can often be heard saying things like, "You know what, gang? It's prayer time! Come on, let's give it up for the Lord!" or even "Paper chains ARE cool, now let's attach them to this easter bonnet before the flour and water paste dries"

Really, the J.C should stand for "Just Crazy"
"Oh Lordy, it's Team J.C, dead ahead"
"How do you know they're on the team?"
"Check it out, they've got bumbags stuffed full of leaflets and Evanessence T shirts on! Plus, look at those crazy, vacant smiles.......they're on the team! Quickly, kids, run to the car!"
by MagickDio March 18, 2010
mugGet the Team J.Cmug.

Mental Cycle

A more accurate name for the menstrual cycle in highly strung females. A lot of women will simply get on with it, however there are a significant proportion that just go full on fucking crazy. Experiences vary, but phrases such as "DON'T speak to me like that!!" and "Oh, well why don't you just fucking LEAVE if I'm so hard to live with!!" are common.

Men are expected to accept this, or they will suffer horribly. These women use the fact that they are menstruating, have just menstruated or are about to menstruate as a kind of "get out of jail free" card, which leaves them free to be psychotic bitches without fear of reprisal, which makes people hate them more and more all month long.

As a bystander to this train wreck, expect screeching, expect tears, expect no sex and expect to want to kill someone more than you ever have before.
"John, do you wanna go do something?"
"Daz, it's midnight! What do you expect us to do?"
"I don't care, my missus is in the middle of her Mental Cycle, so if I don't leave the house, I'll kill the bitch in her sleep"
by MagickDio March 6, 2010
mugGet the Mental Cyclemug.

Twatman

Twatman is the drunken guy you seriously need to avoid. He's the one who thinks he's a superhero. He will feel up and slobber over every female within grabbing distance, churning out such winning lines as "You're beautiful, you are. HEY! Did you know that, I said you're beautiful? Cos you are." and "Love, do you wanna come back to my flat and let me fuck you?". These lines are usually delivered whilst Twatman has his face pressed into an unfortunate woman's neck, breathing hotly and rasping his words in a sex killer's voice. Outside, with his mates, Twatman will give them appalling representation by yelling slurred insults at men that were innocently passing by, and inciting a gang style hatred between the two groups, when really, they could have just gone home. Twatman will fight like a retard following a laser pen, will lose and will cry on his knees, bellowing the name of his current or former girlfriend. He will then walk through traffic, dismissing the vehicles as a threat to him and will search out a kebab van. After purchasing the greasy nastiness, he'll wolf it down and puke. He'll tell his mates that he loves them, then get rowdy about it. He'll end his night drenched in sick and gutter filth, plus his own piss, and will be most definitely NOT having sex. He will have ruined everyone's night. These are the powers of Twatman. Bravo.
"Keith turns into Twatman when we go out drinking, lets not invite him, EVER"

"Last night you behaved like a total Twatman, you were really out of order, and you deserve to be horsewhipped, or possibly to die for making that girl cry. I could have ended up fucking her if you hadn't come over and scared her off!"
by MagickDio April 19, 2010
mugGet the Twatmanmug.

Shark Week

The week during which a woman has her period. There will be blood, an uncomfortable sense of tension and a bad tempered, unpredictable beast.

Take heed during shark week. If you show signs of weakness or aggression, you will be attacked. If you get attacked, it will be all your fault, infinitely more traumatic for her and you'll never be allowed to forget it.
Man 1-"Why is your wife glaring at you from the window?"
Man 2-"Shark week. She's looking for an excuse to strike"

Man 1-"Pub?"
Man 2-"Hell yes."
by MagickDio January 9, 2011
mugGet the Shark Weekmug.

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