Fuck This Shit O'Clock

That time of day when whatever you're doing becomes so irritating that you simply have to cease immediately and exit the area. No matter what the clock states as the actual time, it is still Fuck This Shit O'Clock. Morning, noon and night, any second of any hour can become Fuck This Shit O'Clock. So named because when the moment is reached, people tend to either do a wild, exasperated hand flinging gesture or smash their hands down onto a surface and say "Fuck this shit!!" And then leave.

It should be noted that although the time of Fuck This Shit O'Clock is randomly assigned, some people hate their jobs so intensely that 5pm Monday to Friday becomes Fuck This Shit O'Clock.
"Dave, can you just run me off twenty copies of this on your way past the photocopier?"

"Sorry Sir, no can do. It's Fuck This Shit O'Clock and I'm outta here."
by MagickDio October 09, 2012
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Shark Week

The week during which a woman has her period. There will be blood, an uncomfortable sense of tension and a bad tempered, unpredictable beast.

Take heed during shark week. If you show signs of weakness or aggression, you will be attacked. If you get attacked, it will be all your fault, infinitely more traumatic for her and you'll never be allowed to forget it.
Man 1-"Why is your wife glaring at you from the window?"
Man 2-"Shark week. She's looking for an excuse to strike"

Man 1-"Pub?"
Man 2-"Hell yes."
by MagickDio January 09, 2011
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Secret Sergeant

Like Secret Santa in that one person delivers something to another, and the recipient was unaware that it was heading their way. Except that the delivery is not a Christmas gift, it's an epic bollocking.

1) One of your friends or family will ultimately humiliate you and make you want to die on the spot. Secret Sergeant encompasses the art of working out which one of the fuckers it will be, eg- one of them is secretly waiting to tear you to shreds, Sgt. style, and the rest of them probably know about it.

2) If you're quietly waiting for the best moment to crush your friend's/lover's/sister's or otherwise acquainted or related person's world, and you have discussed it with others, you are the Secret Sergeant. The way you get your kicks is by not being discovered by your intended target, and getting that moment of sweet, sweet satisfaction when the unsuspecting person falls apart before your eyes. A good Secret Sergeant could wipe the smile off a leprechaun's face.
"One of them is going to go all Secret Sergeant about me running off to vegas and getting married....I need to know which one it is"

"He cried his eyes out. He didn't even see it coming, and I didn't care for his weak and pathetic tears. I went totally Secret Sergeant on him!"
by MagickDio February 17, 2010
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Chipmunk Cheeks

Male camel toe. When the seam of the trousers rides up and digs into the scrotum, seperating the testicles so that one is on each side of the offending seam. Thus creating a visual display that is reminiscent of a chipmunk with its cheeks stuffed with food, but not in the slightest bit cute. When it happens suddenly, it is accompanied by an instant look of discomfort and the need to slope off and rearrange ones giblets.
"Guys, wait here, I'm just going round the corner to sort out these chipmunk cheeks"

"Can you SEE that bloke on the barstool?? Look at the chipmunk cheeks! How can he not feel that??"
by MagickDio March 03, 2010
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Bang Drunk

Descriptive term for the first part of a sexual relationship.

Bang drunkeness is easily to spot. You don't care about anything but the crotch of your "love" and you will cancel plans, stand up friends, miss work, birthday parties, meals and social interaction with other human beings. You spend your time balls deep. And you don't give a toss about anything except banging the hell out of your "love"

You tend to sober up when they start talking about other things and telling you their useless opinions.
"Where's Geoff?? We rescheduled this on his say so and he's not here!"

"With Rose I bet. The guy is totally bang drunk"
by MagickDio September 28, 2011
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Deadly Mistake

A mistake made which results in something potentially dying. It's a pretty gosh darned awful mistake if that something turns out to be you. There are two deadly mistakes which are incredibly common;

1) A woman, in the midst of her mental cycle is being somewhat emotionally unstable, and a man utters these words....."what's your problem?!" DEADLY MISTAKE!!! The obvious answer to the question will be that HE is the problem, and if he escapes with his life, all happiness will most certainly be killed for him for the next 3-5 days.

2) When getting down to some serious foreplay, the woman turns to the man and utters these words..."do I look fat?" DEADLY MISTAKE!!! There is no "safe" way for a man to answer that question! If he looks, he's judging- if he doesn't look, he's not taking the question seriously- if he says yes, she cries- if he says no, she says he's lying.... Apart from that question being the one that probably makes men want to strangle women, asking it will kill desire stone cold fucking dead. Not to mention that a "yes" response might result in someone finding the guy the next morning with his head torn off.
"She was just nagging and whining and bitching, so I asked her what her problem was!"

"Ahh, that explains the bruises. Deadly mistake, mate."

"She asked me if she looked fat, right when I was about to take her from behind!"

"Gaaah! Deadly mistake! I bet that killed it!"

"Too fucking right, I was too stressed even to wank, and she just led there muttering and texting about what a cold hearted tosser I am"
by MagickDio April 01, 2010
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Tramp Nosh

1) Discarded, half eaten kebabs that are strewn through the streets near bars after 2am at weekends.

2) Oral sex performed on someone in a park/carpark/shop doorway. A person does not necessarily have to be a tramp to perform or receive Tramp Nosh but it is reasonable to assume that at least one participant may be, due to the scabby choice of location.
1) "I can't eat this doner, I'm gonna puke. Do you want it?"
"Nah, throw it down, man. Let it become tramp nosh."

2) Claire regretted her choice to remain sober and be the designated driver as soon as she approached her car and noticed, all too clearly, the gentleman reclining against it, recieving an enthusiastic tramp nosh from a woman in pink pvc and hair glitter.
by MagickDio July 08, 2011
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