Goofy Granny Wagon

The worst type of Granny Wagon in the world. A shitty little red toilet on wheels driven by a hideous old gargoyle with teeth like green surfboards.
Sweet Jesus! A gargoyle driving a toilet!

Oh shit, its the Goofy Granny Wagon. Piss off you foul dentist dodger!
by Lumpbag August 16, 2009
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Mr Interesting

Ironic name for a tedious individual who believes himself to be the most interesting thing around. Mr Interestings tend to be fat security guards with ugly girlfriends. They drone on and on about the most inconsequential things and expect their audience to be rivetted.
Oh shit, here comes Mr Interesting.

And his repulsive girlfriend.

Let's run before they collar us. Once that boring bastard starts talking we can kiss goodbye to the whole fucking week.
by lumpbag May 16, 2009
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Poor Theo

A miserable, ugly Greek bloke who works as a bouncer at a gay bar and constantly feels sorry for himself. He walks around the house saying "Oh dear!" over and over.
Poor Theo sounds really upset. What's wrong? Has his best friend died?

No, he's feeling suicidal because he overcooked his fried eggs.

Poor Theo!
by Lumpbag April 29, 2009
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Pork Scotch Barbecue

A barbecue arranged by a boring old twat. No one turns up except his ugly girlfriend. They eat garlic bread at a plastic table, then proceed to drink gin and tonic until they're almost comatose. At which point the boring fat twat plays crap music very loud and dances like a spack. No Pork Scotch Barbecue is complete without the tedious "host" donning a leather cowboy hat, imagining he's a 5 foot 4 Clint Eastwood.
Flonkule: Is The Porky Scotcher at work today?

Mickus: No its not and the Sun's out so you know what that means don't you?

Flonkule: Bollocks! Another Pork Scotch Barbecue!
by Lumpbag May 24, 2009
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Jafargholi

A Welsh Paki whose awful singing makes normal people vomit blood.
Flon: Dad, why did you just vomit blood?

Dad: Aaarghhhh! <points at television screen>

Flon: Shit, its Jafargholi! <vomits blood>
by Lumpbag May 26, 2009
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King of West Bridgford

Title adopted by a little fat twat who considers himself the most important person in his home town. The rotund monarch waddles slowly around wearing homosexual sandals, shorts and shades. His Queen is a repulsive dragon with teeth like surfboards. She doesn't understand a word you say because the massive weight of the teeth causes stress in the brain. The royal couple are universally despised and are frequently the victims of monkeyish pranks.
Flobule: Dad, what time are we going to Asda?

Dad: Don't know. I'll have to ask the King of West Bridgford. You need his permission to do things.

Flobule: That's right. We must respect our leader.
by Lumpbag May 29, 2009
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Pork Scotch Van

A clapped-out white van driven by miserable little security guards. These vehicles are filthy and frequently break down. The fat driver will often try to save a parking place for himself by putting a traffic cone in the road outside his house. This annoying practice is best dealt with by rescuing the cone from the fat guy's possession and installing it in the back of a Maltby lorry two streets away.
by Lumpbag May 10, 2009
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