lumpbag's definitions
Imaginary friends. People who simply don't exist. A bit like Facebook friends. Named for the fact that Pork Scotch has no friends at all because he is such a complete twat.
Monk: So who's coming to this barbecue then? Pork Scotch's friends?
Dad: You're talking stupid. Pork Scotch doesn't have any friends. He has Pork Scotch friends.
Dad: You're talking stupid. Pork Scotch doesn't have any friends. He has Pork Scotch friends.
by Lumpbag August 15, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch friends mug.The worst type of Granny Wagon in the world. A shitty little red toilet on wheels driven by a hideous old gargoyle with teeth like green surfboards.
Sweet Jesus! A gargoyle driving a toilet!
Oh shit, its the Goofy Granny Wagon. Piss off you foul dentist dodger!
Oh shit, its the Goofy Granny Wagon. Piss off you foul dentist dodger!
by Lumpbag August 16, 2009
Get the Goofy Granny Wagon mug.A little fat security guard with a gay moustache. Drives a shitty white van and likes to go out with wrinkly drag queens. Probably the most boring man on Earth, definitely the ugliest.
Who's the repulsive fat guy with Goofy Granny?
That be Fishy MacSwell, the most boring bastard on God's Earth.
That be Fishy MacSwell, the most boring bastard on God's Earth.
by Lumpbag May 16, 2009
Get the Fishy MacSwell mug.Ironic name for a tedious individual who believes himself to be the most interesting thing around. Mr Interestings tend to be fat security guards with ugly girlfriends. They drone on and on about the most inconsequential things and expect their audience to be rivetted.
Oh shit, here comes Mr Interesting.
And his repulsive girlfriend.
Let's run before they collar us. Once that boring bastard starts talking we can kiss goodbye to the whole fucking week.
And his repulsive girlfriend.
Let's run before they collar us. Once that boring bastard starts talking we can kiss goodbye to the whole fucking week.
by lumpbag May 16, 2009
Get the Mr Interesting mug.A barbecue arranged by a boring old twat. No one turns up except his ugly girlfriend. They eat garlic bread at a plastic table, then proceed to drink gin and tonic until they're almost comatose. At which point the boring fat twat plays crap music very loud and dances like a spack. No Pork Scotch Barbecue is complete without the tedious "host" donning a leather cowboy hat, imagining he's a 5 foot 4 Clint Eastwood.
Flonkule: Is The Porky Scotcher at work today?
Mickus: No its not and the Sun's out so you know what that means don't you?
Flonkule: Bollocks! Another Pork Scotch Barbecue!
Mickus: No its not and the Sun's out so you know what that means don't you?
Flonkule: Bollocks! Another Pork Scotch Barbecue!
by Lumpbag May 24, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Barbecue mug.Flon: Dad, why did you just vomit blood?
Dad: Aaarghhhh! <points at television screen>
Flon: Shit, its Jafargholi! <vomits blood>
Dad: Aaarghhhh! <points at television screen>
Flon: Shit, its Jafargholi! <vomits blood>
by Lumpbag May 26, 2009
Get the Jafargholi mug.Title adopted by a little fat twat who considers himself the most important person in his home town. The rotund monarch waddles slowly around wearing homosexual sandals, shorts and shades. His Queen is a repulsive dragon with teeth like surfboards. She doesn't understand a word you say because the massive weight of the teeth causes stress in the brain. The royal couple are universally despised and are frequently the victims of monkeyish pranks.
Flobule: Dad, what time are we going to Asda?
Dad: Don't know. I'll have to ask the King of West Bridgford. You need his permission to do things.
Flobule: That's right. We must respect our leader.
Dad: Don't know. I'll have to ask the King of West Bridgford. You need his permission to do things.
Flobule: That's right. We must respect our leader.
by Lumpbag May 29, 2009
Get the King of West Bridgford mug.