lumpbag's definitions
A wrinkly old witch with enormous gnashers. This foul specimen is so physically repugnant that only a porky, boring security guard will have anything to do with it. Goofy and Porky walk around wearing shades, thinking they're young and trendy whereas really they're a pair of tedious pensioners addicted to garlic bread.
Is there anyone in the world ugly enough to go out with the Porky Scotcher?
Yep. Goofy Granny. She's one ugly bitch.
Excellent choice, sir. The two ugliest, most tedious individuals on Earth.
Yep. Goofy Granny. She's one ugly bitch.
Excellent choice, sir. The two ugliest, most tedious individuals on Earth.
by Lumpbag May 29, 2009
Get the Goofy Grannymug. A barbecue arranged by a boring old twat. No one turns up except his ugly girlfriend. They eat garlic bread at a plastic table, then proceed to drink gin and tonic until they're almost comatose. At which point the boring fat twat plays crap music very loud and dances like a spack. No Pork Scotch Barbecue is complete without the tedious "host" donning a leather cowboy hat, imagining he's a 5 foot 4 Clint Eastwood.
Flonkule: Is The Porky Scotcher at work today?
Mickus: No its not and the Sun's out so you know what that means don't you?
Flonkule: Bollocks! Another Pork Scotch Barbecue!
Mickus: No its not and the Sun's out so you know what that means don't you?
Flonkule: Bollocks! Another Pork Scotch Barbecue!
by Lumpbag May 24, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Barbecuemug. The vilest, sickliest and cheapest contents of a Snufbag. Officially classed as food but should never be consumed by humans. Ethiopians have been known to turn their noses up at these foul creations, choosing starvation instead.
Mickus: What's in this week's Snufbag?
Mum: A bag of crisps and 18 packets of Hill biscuits.
Mickus: OK, throw me the crisps and shove the shit down the bog where it belongs.
Mum: A bag of crisps and 18 packets of Hill biscuits.
Mickus: OK, throw me the crisps and shove the shit down the bog where it belongs.
by Lumpbag April 26, 2009
Get the Hill biscuitsmug. A miserable, ugly Greek bloke who works as a bouncer at a gay bar and constantly feels sorry for himself. He walks around the house saying "Oh dear!" over and over.
Poor Theo sounds really upset. What's wrong? Has his best friend died?
No, he's feeling suicidal because he overcooked his fried eggs.
Poor Theo!
No, he's feeling suicidal because he overcooked his fried eggs.
Poor Theo!
by Lumpbag April 29, 2009
Get the Poor Theomug. by Lumpbag May 7, 2009
Get the Its called Snickers now, Lovey!mug. Title adopted by a little fat twat who considers himself the most important person in his home town. The rotund monarch waddles slowly around wearing homosexual sandals, shorts and shades. His Queen is a repulsive dragon with teeth like surfboards. She doesn't understand a word you say because the massive weight of the teeth causes stress in the brain. The royal couple are universally despised and are frequently the victims of monkeyish pranks.
Flobule: Dad, what time are we going to Asda?
Dad: Don't know. I'll have to ask the King of West Bridgford. You need his permission to do things.
Flobule: That's right. We must respect our leader.
Dad: Don't know. I'll have to ask the King of West Bridgford. You need his permission to do things.
Flobule: That's right. We must respect our leader.
by Lumpbag May 29, 2009
Get the King of West Bridgfordmug. Ironic name for a tedious individual who believes himself to be the most interesting thing around. Mr Interestings tend to be fat security guards with ugly girlfriends. They drone on and on about the most inconsequential things and expect their audience to be rivetted.
Oh shit, here comes Mr Interesting.
And his repulsive girlfriend.
Let's run before they collar us. Once that boring bastard starts talking we can kiss goodbye to the whole fucking week.
And his repulsive girlfriend.
Let's run before they collar us. Once that boring bastard starts talking we can kiss goodbye to the whole fucking week.
by lumpbag May 16, 2009
Get the Mr Interestingmug.