The worst type of Granny Wagon in the world. A shitty little red toilet on wheels driven by a hideous old gargoyle with teeth like green surfboards.
Sweet Jesus! A gargoyle driving a toilet!
Oh shit, its the Goofy Granny Wagon. Piss off you foul dentist dodger!
Oh shit, its the Goofy Granny Wagon. Piss off you foul dentist dodger!
by Lumpbag August 16, 2009
A barbecue arranged by a boring old twat. No one turns up except his ugly girlfriend. They eat garlic bread at a plastic table, then proceed to drink gin and tonic until they're almost comatose. At which point the boring fat twat plays crap music very loud and dances like a spack. No Pork Scotch Barbecue is complete without the tedious "host" donning a leather cowboy hat, imagining he's a 5 foot 4 Clint Eastwood.
Flonkule: Is The Porky Scotcher at work today?
Mickus: No its not and the Sun's out so you know what that means don't you?
Flonkule: Bollocks! Another Pork Scotch Barbecue!
Mickus: No its not and the Sun's out so you know what that means don't you?
Flonkule: Bollocks! Another Pork Scotch Barbecue!
by Lumpbag May 24, 2009
The vilest, sickliest and cheapest contents of a Snufbag. Officially classed as food but should never be consumed by humans. Ethiopians have been known to turn their noses up at these foul creations, choosing starvation instead.
Mickus: What's in this week's Snufbag?
Mum: A bag of crisps and 18 packets of Hill biscuits.
Mickus: OK, throw me the crisps and shove the shit down the bog where it belongs.
Mum: A bag of crisps and 18 packets of Hill biscuits.
Mickus: OK, throw me the crisps and shove the shit down the bog where it belongs.
by Lumpbag April 26, 2009
Hey look at the fat guy with the walkie-talkie!
I think you'll find that's a porky-talkie. They're especially for fat ugly security guards like Pork Scotch.
I think you'll find that's a porky-talkie. They're especially for fat ugly security guards like Pork Scotch.
by lumpbag June 09, 2009
Flon: Dad, why did you just vomit blood?
Dad: Aaarghhhh! <points at television screen>
Flon: Shit, its Jafargholi! <vomits blood>
Dad: Aaarghhhh! <points at television screen>
Flon: Shit, its Jafargholi! <vomits blood>
by Lumpbag May 26, 2009
A clapped-out white van driven by miserable little security guards. These vehicles are filthy and frequently break down. The fat driver will often try to save a parking place for himself by putting a traffic cone in the road outside his house. This annoying practice is best dealt with by rescuing the cone from the fat guy's possession and installing it in the back of a Maltby lorry two streets away.
by Lumpbag May 10, 2009
Imaginary friends. People who simply don't exist. A bit like Facebook friends. Named for the fact that Pork Scotch has no friends at all because he is such a complete twat.
Monk: So who's coming to this barbecue then? Pork Scotch's friends?
Dad: You're talking stupid. Pork Scotch doesn't have any friends. He has Pork Scotch friends.
Dad: You're talking stupid. Pork Scotch doesn't have any friends. He has Pork Scotch friends.
by Lumpbag August 15, 2009