14 definitions by lumpbag
by lumpbag May 7, 2009
Ironic name for a tedious individual who believes himself to be the most interesting thing around. Mr Interestings tend to be fat security guards with ugly girlfriends. They drone on and on about the most inconsequential things and expect their audience to be rivetted.
Oh shit, here comes Mr Interesting.
And his repulsive girlfriend.
Let's run before they collar us. Once that boring bastard starts talking we can kiss goodbye to the whole fucking week.
And his repulsive girlfriend.
Let's run before they collar us. Once that boring bastard starts talking we can kiss goodbye to the whole fucking week.
by lumpbag May 16, 2009
Hey look at the fat guy with the walkie-talkie!
I think you'll find that's a porky-talkie. They're especially for fat ugly security guards like Pork Scotch.
I think you'll find that's a porky-talkie. They're especially for fat ugly security guards like Pork Scotch.
by lumpbag June 9, 2009
Imaginary friends. People who simply don't exist. A bit like Facebook friends. Named for the fact that Pork Scotch has no friends at all because he is such a complete twat.
Monk: So who's coming to this barbecue then? Pork Scotch's friends?
Dad: You're talking stupid. Pork Scotch doesn't have any friends. He has Pork Scotch friends.
Dad: You're talking stupid. Pork Scotch doesn't have any friends. He has Pork Scotch friends.
by lumpbag August 16, 2009
Flon: Dad, why did you just vomit blood?
Dad: Aaarghhhh! <points at television screen>
Flon: Shit, its Jafargholi! <vomits blood>
Dad: Aaarghhhh! <points at television screen>
Flon: Shit, its Jafargholi! <vomits blood>
by lumpbag May 26, 2009
Title adopted by a little fat twat who considers himself the most important person in his home town. The rotund monarch waddles slowly around wearing homosexual sandals, shorts and shades. His Queen is a repulsive dragon with teeth like surfboards. She doesn't understand a word you say because the massive weight of the teeth causes stress in the brain. The royal couple are universally despised and are frequently the victims of monkeyish pranks.
Flobule: Dad, what time are we going to Asda?
Dad: Don't know. I'll have to ask the King of West Bridgford. You need his permission to do things.
Flobule: That's right. We must respect our leader.
Dad: Don't know. I'll have to ask the King of West Bridgford. You need his permission to do things.
Flobule: That's right. We must respect our leader.
by lumpbag May 29, 2009
A miserable, ugly Greek bloke who works as a bouncer at a gay bar and constantly feels sorry for himself. He walks around the house saying "Oh dear!" over and over.
Poor Theo sounds really upset. What's wrong? Has his best friend died?
No, he's feeling suicidal because he overcooked his fried eggs.
Poor Theo!
No, he's feeling suicidal because he overcooked his fried eggs.
Poor Theo!
by lumpbag April 29, 2009