lumpbag's definitions
A barbecue arranged by a boring old twat. No one turns up except his ugly girlfriend. They eat garlic bread at a plastic table, then proceed to drink gin and tonic until they're almost comatose. At which point the boring fat twat plays crap music very loud and dances like a spack. No Pork Scotch Barbecue is complete without the tedious "host" donning a leather cowboy hat, imagining he's a 5 foot 4 Clint Eastwood.
Flonkule: Is The Porky Scotcher at work today?
Mickus: No its not and the Sun's out so you know what that means don't you?
Flonkule: Bollocks! Another Pork Scotch Barbecue!
Mickus: No its not and the Sun's out so you know what that means don't you?
Flonkule: Bollocks! Another Pork Scotch Barbecue!
by Lumpbag May 24, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Barbecuemug. by Lumpbag May 7, 2009
Get the Its called Snickers now, Lovey!mug. A miserable, ugly Greek bloke who works as a bouncer at a gay bar and constantly feels sorry for himself. He walks around the house saying "Oh dear!" over and over.
Poor Theo sounds really upset. What's wrong? Has his best friend died?
No, he's feeling suicidal because he overcooked his fried eggs.
Poor Theo!
No, he's feeling suicidal because he overcooked his fried eggs.
Poor Theo!
by Lumpbag April 29, 2009
Get the Poor Theomug. Imaginary friends. People who simply don't exist. A bit like Facebook friends. Named for the fact that Pork Scotch has no friends at all because he is such a complete twat.
Monk: So who's coming to this barbecue then? Pork Scotch's friends?
Dad: You're talking stupid. Pork Scotch doesn't have any friends. He has Pork Scotch friends.
Dad: You're talking stupid. Pork Scotch doesn't have any friends. He has Pork Scotch friends.
by Lumpbag August 15, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch friendsmug. The world's finest pizza topping. The pizza of choice of fat security guards it consists of a Marguerita pizza topped with pork and gravy.
by Lumpbag May 4, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch pizzamug. A little fat security guard with a gay moustache. Drives a shitty white van and likes to go out with wrinkly drag queens. Probably the most boring man on Earth, definitely the ugliest.
Who's the repulsive fat guy with Goofy Granny?
That be Fishy MacSwell, the most boring bastard on God's Earth.
That be Fishy MacSwell, the most boring bastard on God's Earth.
by Lumpbag May 16, 2009
Get the Fishy MacSwellmug. Title adopted by a little fat twat who considers himself the most important person in his home town. The rotund monarch waddles slowly around wearing homosexual sandals, shorts and shades. His Queen is a repulsive dragon with teeth like surfboards. She doesn't understand a word you say because the massive weight of the teeth causes stress in the brain. The royal couple are universally despised and are frequently the victims of monkeyish pranks.
Flobule: Dad, what time are we going to Asda?
Dad: Don't know. I'll have to ask the King of West Bridgford. You need his permission to do things.
Flobule: That's right. We must respect our leader.
Dad: Don't know. I'll have to ask the King of West Bridgford. You need his permission to do things.
Flobule: That's right. We must respect our leader.
by Lumpbag May 29, 2009
Get the King of West Bridgfordmug.