Definitions by Lorraine Haul

The Underwater Splits 

when you are forced to watch someone doing the under water splits over and over again until you almost drown

I'm not going to Johnny's house again. I can't watch any more of The Underwater Splits.

The Underwater Splits by Lorraine Haul May 21, 2024

Hobsquash 

Hobsquash

/ hawb-sqwosh / (noun) 1. Mayhem, hi-jinx, malarkey, up to no good

2. Meaningless and nonsensical talk, jibberish
2. (Verb) to move in a seemingly random and chaotic way
higgledy-piggledy, helterskelter

Synonym-

Fiddle faddle, nonsense

Antonym -
The truth

A man in his mid 30s elaborate subterfuge on the streets of Iron Knob came crashing do today when the on foot chase he was involved in went horribly wrong. After creating a fake identity and assuming a vigilanty state of mind he layed used a last m I minute weapon to subdue the would be assailant. His ploy to use a milk crate to )attack the criminal going very badly and backfiring. Witnesses on the scene were noted to say the whole ordeal was disaapointing, and that he had made a hobsquash of the chase.

Hobsquash by Lorraine Haul April 11, 2024

The Speedy Gorilla 

When a woman is fucking a mans face whilst reaching back to grab his dick and use it as a rudder all the while using her other hand to beat her chest and mimic the sound of a silver back gorilla.

"The party was fully sick bro...I saw ol mate Tim being abused by that MILF hard core. Im sure she was doin the Speedy Gorilla"

The Speedy Gorilla by Lorraine Haul April 2, 2024

Angry Wank

Creating your self a brand new fore skin (especially if challenged to a Surprise Space Docking challenge) by wanking really, really fast and hard..... warming up the skin and extending it way beyond the tip hopefull so far it can be placed as a cover over the tip of your opponents penis.

This one time on the Hay Plain I took an angry wank whilst staring at a cupboard. Through the window a horse was looking me right in the eye. He knew.

Angry Wank by Lorraine Haul May 23, 2023