Lord Grimcock's definitions

telemanchecoprobleptophobia

The fear of getting shit on your sleeves while wiping wearing long-sleeved clothing.

She asked why I hoard all my old clothing receipts; I told her I suffered from telemanchecoprobleptophobia.

by Lord Grimcock March 30, 2009

Yoko Matsugane

The holy grail of poon, a Japanese girl with big eyes, great legs and unholy natural tits.

Her refusal so far to display her wicks or vag only increases her charm, though I wouldn't object if she did either.

Check Youtube for clips if any doubt remains to you.

Christ. Yoko Matsugane would get rammed across the Alps if I had my way.

by Lord Grimcock October 9, 2008

FADS

Zip, nada, bugger all. Fuck All Divided by Six.

Yez cunts' word's wuth FADS.

by Lord Grimcock October 16, 2008

Belgian biscuit

British. To quote the Profanisaurus, 'a vile and non-specific sex act performed by the staff of a rub-a-tug shop'.

Whatever it is it's rarely heard outside of Viz and, depending on exactly what you take it to mean, rarely seen either, thank Christ.

I offered him a Cleveland steamer and the filthy cunt's only asked if I do Belgian biscuit.

by Lord Grimcock September 11, 2007

custard cousin

A man to whom one is related by virtue of having had a slice of the same pie. Bird's Second Law of Custardation states that six degrees of custard kinship would unite virtually the whole mammalian population of Earth. Most of them by way of a certain bitch-whore I used to work with.

Justin Timberlake, Kevin Federline, that Brummagem Paki, the Dave Clark Five, the fourth 'Lassie' and half the population of Detroit are custard cousins.

by Lord Grimcock October 16, 2008

GROLIES

Medical shorthand. Guardian Reader Of Limited Intelligence In Ethnic Skirt.

Female, 45, complaining of intense stress-related chest pain. Diagnosis: GROLIES. Prescription: 5mg ketamine, diurnal, to be taken anally.

by Lord Grimcock August 26, 2007

Ron Paul

I can't remember the last time a US presidential candidate (or British MP for that matter) looked so good. He's got more bottom than all the rest of those opportunistic hack nobodies combined. American non-voters don't have any excuse this time. You get to choose between him, some compromised douchebag like Giuliani and oblivion under the unspeakable Hilary Clinton.

That bastard wouldn't let me in to vote for Ron Paul. Some bollocks about not being a US citizen.

by Lord Grimcock September 16, 2007