Lord Grimcock's definitions
Pressed against that schoolgirl's hip on the axle seat of the 57, I'm ashamed to say I involuntarily released a few drops of ball glaze as we passed over that unmade road, Father.
by Lord Grimcock September 13, 2007
Get the ball glaze mug.The one failsafe method of birth control, much favoured between military types in the eponymous Yorkshire garrison town. See also: Colchester condom.
Now you will be wearing a Catterick condom when I meet you behind the barrack block tonight, won't you lieutenant?
by Lord Grimcock January 5, 2008
Get the Catterick condom mug.A piece of software so useless, intrusive, poorly-conceived, designed and/or supported one forms the opinion that everyone who was involved in its creation, marketing and distribution is a cunt.
Norton Anti-Virus is the archetype of cuntware.
by Lord Grimcock November 6, 2007
Get the cuntware mug.A sex technique involving two men, three women and an indeterminite number of geese. The protagonist repeatedly rams his fists up the anus and urethra of one of the female participants, while the others prance around them in jester's garb, making witty repartee, clicking their fingers, occasionally coughing. As the female begins to rupture, the second male begins inserting live geese up the lead's anus (a feat requiring some dexterity and strength) while quoting from the Tibetan Book of the Dead. Once the death of both leads has been confirmed, those remain continue as per a regular Celine Dion.
Can be done with ducks instead of geese in which case it is known as a Clitheroe cheesegrater.
Can be done with ducks instead of geese in which case it is known as a Clitheroe cheesegrater.
by Lord Grimcock October 9, 2008
Get the Dronfield ironing board mug.A rotund, insufferably smug oxygen thief inexplicably granted an endless supply of cash to write / produce / direct / 'act' in an agonising series of self-gratifying filmic shit.
'Clerks' was passable at the time of its making, but he wanked it dry, and the whole setup is no longer either believable or funny.
It doesn't help that he can't write - his supposedly quirky 'observational' stuff is painfully contrived - and that none of the otherwise unknown cronies that populate his lead roles film after film can act.
Still, while he, Michael Bay et al continue to find work there's hope for the least of us.
'Clerks' was passable at the time of its making, but he wanked it dry, and the whole setup is no longer either believable or funny.
It doesn't help that he can't write - his supposedly quirky 'observational' stuff is painfully contrived - and that none of the otherwise unknown cronies that populate his lead roles film after film can act.
Still, while he, Michael Bay et al continue to find work there's hope for the least of us.
I never thought my screenplay 'Lindsay Dawn And Deng Xiaoping In The Quest For The Cunt Of Mohammed' would sell until I saw Kevin Smith's 'Clerks 2'.
by Lord Grimcock August 28, 2007
Get the Kevin Smith mug.Post Office slang for fragile items that have, possibly deliberately, been smashed. Failed Under Kinetic Testing.
by Lord Grimcock September 4, 2007
Get the FUKT mug.Necro-Sodomising Dread Acolytes Party. The ruling faction and only political organisation permitted under the bleak, frostbitten, arcane and longed-for hegemony of Planet Norway.
When the Age of Frost begins, my grimling, this puny, lukewarm Social-Democratic state will be inverted into the billion-year NSDAP rike tyranny seamily and with the maximum of unpleasantness.
by Lord Grimcock October 6, 2008
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