Brown Goliath

Rupert had to ask his wife Mary to inspect his anal sphincter for damage after heaving out a Brown Goliath that morning
by Loopydave October 24, 2019
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clown's pastie

An absolute disgusting crispy semen coverered bulbous labia example of a slags pastie aka a drunkards late night meal. Most likely diseased, and wears fake prada and orange makeup.
Rupert phoned the clinic with much hesitation about his blistered knob and his wife's clown's pastie
by Loopydave December 17, 2018
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dribbling clam

A sopping wet vagina, as wet as an otters pocket due to arousal. Not to be confused with venereal discharge.
After seeing Mary's dribbling clam, Rupert realised no extra lubrication was required.
by Loopydave January 17, 2011
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googling rehabs session

A drink and/or drugs session so severe it the following afternoon you are shivering looking up local rehabs on google
Rupert realized things were getting quite out of hand after another googling rehabs session...
by Loopydave January 25, 2017
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polish the lighthouse

The act of masturbating whilst in the bath, ideally with the waterline sitting right at the base of your cock.
Whist Mary was away at bingo Rupert took the opportunity to bathe and polish the lighthouse
by Loopydave August 18, 2018
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gorilla forearm

An extremely well developed muscle-clad forearm developed from many decades of having a chronic masturbation habit
Rupet's gorilla forearm shrank considerably in the years following meeting Mary
by Loopydave January 25, 2017
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dealt a beadle

Dealt a bad hand in life. Unlucky. Originating from the famous late British television comedian Jeremy Beadle who was born with a small, deformed hand.
Jeez mate, this just aint right. I got ADHD, bipolar and a personality disorder. I've been dealt a beadle.
by Loopydave June 01, 2018
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