Long Johns's definitions

Masturbation

Although, pronounced really as Master Bation, is a suffering of bating who becomes their master. By masturbation, will cast away that tormenting spirit that haunts within their minds. Towards a more well suited ruler to bless their soul once their handy work has endured. Of course, that tormenting spirit finds this as an exciting game to play, so torments constantly non-stop and continually making the masturbation go on and on.

Ben liked having a quick bash of his bishop, only things turned slightly awkward. A tormenting spirit saw this masturbation go on, and realising how the mind his satisfies was not as he prefered. Within bens mind this spirit kept reminding him, by saying 'you're me' non-stop, of the master he has upon his head. So at several intervals, all day and all week, till he rubbed sore, masterbated till his mind was at peace and had the master he wished for.

by Long Johns October 24, 2014

Bitch slap

A bitch slap is a subtle yet harsh way to make sure they get the point across well and truly. Particularly for those annoying bitches whom just do not get the hint, and keep on and on at you until provoked to 'bitch slap' them, like a wake up call.

Bitch: wanna go out with me....wanna go out with me....wanna go out with me..

Victim: No, you're alright.

Bitch: go out with me, or else.....go out with me, or else....go out with me, or else.

Victim: I said no, thanks.

Bitch: I'm gonna stalk you while you sleep......hear me....stalk you...

Victim: 'bitch slap' now do you get it?

Bitch: I'm going to get you for this, yeah I get it.

Victim: what have I got to do to make the hint sink into her thick skull?

by Long Johns November 27, 2013

Shopping angel

Usually performed by women, spending all day shopping and carrying home all the vast bags they now own. Throw themselves in amongst them all and wave their arms and legs about to resemble an angel. Typically done due for over-exhausted excitement!

Sally spent all day shopping, carrying home 2 to the dozen of bags. Finally back home and feeling exhausted, the first thing she did on returning home is throw herself in amongst all her bags and did a shopping angel.

by Long Johns February 28, 2012

Broadgender

When TV broadcasting channels become neutral and do not be discriminate towards their own media. Each channel talks about another, presenters appearing on opposite channels programmes.

Show host on Channel 5 became Broadgender and appeared on a Channel 1 chat show to talk about her future plans on Channel 5.

by Long Johns March 17, 2023

Star-ling

Like a 'darling' but someone of a famous background, a celeb, a TV/Film star, singer; of that whom is infatuated, obsessed, admiring, in love with.

"My new found fame for a famous person is such a star-ling."

by Long Johns December 24, 2011

Head over heels

When someone has gone all out to look slutty in them heels, but they are attractively drawn for their head. Fallen head over heels on the first date.

Debbie was dressed up to the nines in her skimpy red dress and stilettos hoping to attract a mate.
Bobby: you look lovely, but I have fallen head over heels instead.

Debbie: you prefer my mind than body?
Bobby: I always like to get inside someones mind first, before getting inside their body!
Debbie: Mines a double VaT.
Bobby: See? Intelligent you are.

by Long Johns July 4, 2017

Victoriouser

As one surpasses ones predecessor for reigning the longest, one gains the title for being 'Victoriouser'...

Ones ruling monarch Queen Elizabeth II has continued to reign longer than ones own previous Queen Victoria, therefore are victoriouser.

by Long Johns October 26, 2015