Led Zeppole's definitions

the most plenty of fast internet

An excellent example of Engrish. I found this phrase a definition of South Korea submitted on September 5, 2003 by someone named Park SJ. Look up the definition and see for yourself. Sounded so hilarious that it deserved its own entry in UD. Has the potential to become the new all your base are belong to us.

Now that I have a wireless router hooked up to a DSL, I can get the most plenty of fast internet anywhere in my home!

by Led Zeppole December 5, 2004

Position 45

The 45th position that John Kerry has expressed on the War in Iraq since April 2003. Rest assured that the ever-decisive Kerry will adopt Position 46 by the end of this week...

Kerry's Position 45 is "Saddam Hussein was a threat to this nation and I support our troops, but I voted against funding this war, which is the wrong war at the wrong time at the wrong place, but I will encourage the international community to support our efforts, even though the 30 nations supporting us right now are the coalition of the bribed and the coerced and don't I look cool windsurfing and snowboarding and using the word lesbian in a debate, blah, blah, blah, blah..."

by Led Zeppole October 17, 2004

oxycotton

1. A highly addictive natural fiber, once grown in enormous quantities on vast plantations in the pre-Civil War South.

2. It's "OxyContin," you idiot...

Drug lords have found a brilliant way to get Americans of all ages addicted to oxycotton; spin it into threads and use it to manufacture comfortable shirts and blouses!

by Led Zeppole October 2, 2004

Afternoon delight

The awful title of one of the most awful songs ever written. It was performed by the Starland Vocal Band, a group of talentless hacks who are living proof that you can, in fact, sell your soul to Satan in exchange for success.

If you were around in the 70's, as I was, the "song" Afternoon Delight will scar your psyche until your dying day.

by Led Zeppole March 18, 2004

smock

A badge of shame worn by the low-paid, low-skilled workers at retail stores like Wal-Mart, Sam's Club and Home Depot. The smocks worn by employees of these stores are usually covered in advertising. They are also usually filthy. Source of the term smock job.

If you need to find a salesperson at Wal-Mart, just look for a nasty, big-assed white trash woman in stretch pants and a dirty smock. When you speak to her, you can put money on it that she will call you "hon."

by Led Zeppole March 18, 2004

smock job

A low-paying job in the retail industry that requires the wearing of a smock. The smock generally has a corporate logo or advertising slogan printed on it, turning the employee into a human billboard. The smock is often seen as demeaning by the employees who must wear them. Excellent examples of smock jobs are the salespeople at stores such as Wal-Mart, Sam's Club and Home Depot.

When Steve's job in the tech sector was eliminated and sent offshore, he had to swallow his pride and take a smock job at Wal-Mart just to pay the bills.

by Led Zeppole March 17, 2004

Jersey massage

To physically assault someone, either with your fists or with a weapon, such as a baseball bat, pool cue, axe handle or pipe; in simple terms, a beatdown. The "Jersey" part of the phrase is a slang term for the State of New Jersey in the United States. Residents of New Jersey are known for being a bit more "physical" than most Americans when it comes to resolving disputes...

When I walked out of the bar and saw some scumbag pissing on the side of my car, I gave him a Jersey massage that he'll never forget.

by Led Zeppole March 11, 2004