Definitions by Lârry Dângüs, esq.
bladder juice
The liquid contained by the urinary bladder of many terrestrial animals, also known as pee-pee, piss, whiz or number one. In mammals, this liquid is frequently pungent and colored some shade of yellow. Bladder juice can be recycled as a beverage in states of dire emergency, and also for the lulz.
Sometimes when I'm suffering from cotton mouth while taking a piss, I will direct the whiz stream up to my pie hole and take a few sips of my delicious bladder juice.
bladder juice by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 17, 2014
grandbastard
grandbastard by Lârry Dângüs, esq. August 27, 2013
don't Snopes me, bro!
An allegedly humorous declaration one might use in response to being questioned as to the accuracy of their information and/or its source. It is a reference to the phrase don't tase me, bro, as well as the snopes website.
Don't believe everything you read on Snopes, bro...especially if it's about the activities of the CIA, the events of 9/11 or any sexually perverted acts performed by the band 311; they really do rape babies while wearing horse masks. However, if you are trying to discover the truth behind some ridiculous urban legend, such as Rod Stewart drinking gallons of semen or Richard Gere taking a panicky trip to the ER after shoving gerbils up his booty hole, snopes can actually be a semi-decent reference tool. Remember: the less important the information you seek, the less likely snopes will lie to you about it.
Don't believe everything you read on Snopes, bro...especially if it's about the activities of the CIA, the events of 9/11 or any sexually perverted acts performed by the band 311; they really do rape babies while wearing horse masks. However, if you are trying to discover the truth behind some ridiculous urban legend, such as Rod Stewart drinking gallons of semen or Richard Gere taking a panicky trip to the ER after shoving gerbils up his booty hole, snopes can actually be a semi-decent reference tool. Remember: the less important the information you seek, the less likely snopes will lie to you about it.
Person A
Have you heard why people in the ghetto wear their pants hanging halfway down their asscracks? It started in men's prisons, you see, the 'bitches' use this fashion statement to signal that they are available for getting their a-holes harpooned! (contemptuous laughter)
Isn't that FUNNY?
Person B
That's not true,
Person A
don't Snopes me, bro!
Person B
(ignoring the outburst) ....although the sagging pants fashion trend did originate in prison. In US correctional facilities, inmates of both genders are often issued pants which are too big for them. Since belts are not allowed, they spend every standing moment 'hitching' their pants back up by hand or either letting them drop. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with it.
Have you heard why people in the ghetto wear their pants hanging halfway down their asscracks? It started in men's prisons, you see, the 'bitches' use this fashion statement to signal that they are available for getting their a-holes harpooned! (contemptuous laughter)
Isn't that FUNNY?
Person B
That's not true,
Person A
don't Snopes me, bro!
Person B
(ignoring the outburst) ....although the sagging pants fashion trend did originate in prison. In US correctional facilities, inmates of both genders are often issued pants which are too big for them. Since belts are not allowed, they spend every standing moment 'hitching' their pants back up by hand or either letting them drop. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with it.
don't Snopes me, bro! by Lârry Dângüs, esq. August 17, 2013
stripper mentality
a mindset which tends to despoil the moral integrity of women who engage in ass-shaking on a professional basis for an extended period.
Over time, exposure to the shake joint environment has a tendency to exacerbate latent neuroses in females, particularly those which negatively affect their interpersonal relationships with males. Primary indicators of stripper mentality include emotional disassociation, narcissism and drug addiction.
As the stripper mentality takes hold of their personalities, these women come to view men as mark-ass tricks, trick-ass marks, and straight up sucker motherfuckers of whom they might take advantage. The pleasure they derive from sexual relations is often diminished, as the female instead comes to view sex - or more often, the promise of sex - as a means to an end, with the ends most commonly being acquisition of currency, material goods, illicit psychoactive substances, or some combination thereof.
Over time, exposure to the shake joint environment has a tendency to exacerbate latent neuroses in females, particularly those which negatively affect their interpersonal relationships with males. Primary indicators of stripper mentality include emotional disassociation, narcissism and drug addiction.
As the stripper mentality takes hold of their personalities, these women come to view men as mark-ass tricks, trick-ass marks, and straight up sucker motherfuckers of whom they might take advantage. The pleasure they derive from sexual relations is often diminished, as the female instead comes to view sex - or more often, the promise of sex - as a means to an end, with the ends most commonly being acquisition of currency, material goods, illicit psychoactive substances, or some combination thereof.
My girlfriend just started stripping and she's making great money, but I'm worried that she might eventually fall prey to the stripper mentality. I've already closed our joint bank account just to be safe.
stripper mentality by Lârry Dângüs, esq. March 14, 2012
Mary Cheney
The lesbian daughter of former US vice president Dick Cheney. Mary Cheney and her life partner, Heather Poe, have two children, Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman, both of whom are the result of a lesbian miracle. Ms. Cheney revealed in a recent interview that her children's names were inspired by a line of dialogue spoken by fictional race car driver Ricky Bobby in Ms. Cheney's favorite film, Talladega Nights.
Noted gay columnist Dan Savage has publicly referred to Ms. Cheney as a "useless dyke" due to her active involvement with the Bush Administration and the half-assed stand she has taken for gay rights. Mary Cheney responded to Savage's remark with a thinly-veiled threat to have her dark lord father send him to Guantanamo Bay, presumably to be tortured and held indefinitely without charges, as is customary in the post-9/11 police state formerly known as the United States of America.
Noted gay columnist Dan Savage has publicly referred to Ms. Cheney as a "useless dyke" due to her active involvement with the Bush Administration and the half-assed stand she has taken for gay rights. Mary Cheney responded to Savage's remark with a thinly-veiled threat to have her dark lord father send him to Guantanamo Bay, presumably to be tortured and held indefinitely without charges, as is customary in the post-9/11 police state formerly known as the United States of America.
Mary Cheney was the director of vice presidential operations for the Bush-Cheney 2004 Presidential re-election campaign, which is rather ironic considering the fact that the Bush Administration's official policy on gays and lesbians is that they "should all shut the hell up and stop being all gay and stuff"*.
*quote by former Attorney General John Ashcroft, 2004
*quote by former Attorney General John Ashcroft, 2004
Mary Cheney by Lârry Dângüs, esq. January 4, 2012
whore's handkerchief
An alternate term for baby wipes or wet wipes. While they are most commonly associated with diaper-changing, whores' handkerchiefs are also regularly employed by sex professionals (as well as non-pros) of either gender to facilitate a cleansing of the undercarriage prior to engaging in some form of snugglelingus. While very useful in cold weather when it's too chilly to take a shower; whores' handkerchiefs are also a favorite of nasty-ass lazy folks, people on camping trips and water conservationists alike. WH's can also can serve as a fancy substitute for toilet tissue.
female to Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter, Mary Cheney: "My love, I fear that your washrooms' supply of shit tickets has been fully depleted."
Mary Cheney to female: "No sweat baby, I got an unopened stash of whore's handkerchiefs under the sink. Now you run along and make that gash smell like artificial petunias for Mary...and hey, throw one'o them live baby dolphins into the piranha tank on yer way back, awright? They friggin' LOVE those!"
Mary Cheney to female: "No sweat baby, I got an unopened stash of whore's handkerchiefs under the sink. Now you run along and make that gash smell like artificial petunias for Mary...and hey, throw one'o them live baby dolphins into the piranha tank on yer way back, awright? They friggin' LOVE those!"
whore's handkerchief by Lârry Dângüs, esq. December 28, 2011
revenge porn
a nude photograph or video which is publicly shared online (most frequently by an ex-lover of the subject's) for the purpose of spiteful humiliation and/or the lulz.
While revenge porn has existed as long as the intarwebz itself, in early 2011 a rapidly-growing website called is anyone up appeared, providing a prominent and heavily viewed destination for those who seek such vengeance (or simply wish to view the results, or fap to them). The key element of this site is that it not only offers a place for revenge porn, but also links to the subjects' Facebook pages, thus increasing the lulz and/or humiliation factor exponentially.
As modern culture becomes more deeply immersed in digital technology, and as desperately horny homo sapiens continue to send each other home made fap material, rapid growth of the revenge porn industry seems all but inevitable. Additionally, from a legal standpoint (at least at the time of this writing), revenge porn is also virtually *unstoppable*, due to a legal loophole protecting the owner of any such website from criminal prosecution (see Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act of 1996).
This author's advice to all users of social media who have any concern for the confidentiality of their n00dz is, either don't share your pics with anyone or prepare your anus.
While revenge porn has existed as long as the intarwebz itself, in early 2011 a rapidly-growing website called is anyone up appeared, providing a prominent and heavily viewed destination for those who seek such vengeance (or simply wish to view the results, or fap to them). The key element of this site is that it not only offers a place for revenge porn, but also links to the subjects' Facebook pages, thus increasing the lulz and/or humiliation factor exponentially.
As modern culture becomes more deeply immersed in digital technology, and as desperately horny homo sapiens continue to send each other home made fap material, rapid growth of the revenge porn industry seems all but inevitable. Additionally, from a legal standpoint (at least at the time of this writing), revenge porn is also virtually *unstoppable*, due to a legal loophole protecting the owner of any such website from criminal prosecution (see Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act of 1996).
This author's advice to all users of social media who have any concern for the confidentiality of their n00dz is, either don't share your pics with anyone or prepare your anus.
Dude, is it true your crazy ex-fuckbuddy sent the cops to your house?
Yeah, that was some serious fucktardation...but there's always revenge porn.
Yeah, that was some serious fucktardation...but there's always revenge porn.
revenge porn by Lârry Dângüs, esq. December 5, 2011