33 definitions by Klopek007
by Klopek007 July 10, 2006
Plumper is a term used by women who want to feel good about their unhealthy obesity because they're too lazy to diet and exercise. Unfortunately for them, they won't have very long to enjoy feeling good about being fat, as they will likely be dead from a massive coronary before the age of 50.
It's no surprise that the term plumper was invented in the United States. Because, sadly, we have BY FAR the highest obesity rate on the planet. And instead of solving the problem, we invent terms like this so that people feel good about themselves, even when they get winded by waddling to the freezer for their daily quart of ice cream.
On the upside, those of us in decent shape are becoming more of a rarity, and are therefore more desirable and sought after than the fat masses.
On the upside, those of us in decent shape are becoming more of a rarity, and are therefore more desirable and sought after than the fat masses.
by Klopek007 May 20, 2008
The Westboro Baptist Church is a wretched hive of scum and villainy, they are loathsome vermin who cast a vile light on mainstream Christianity. Some people even associate them with other Christians (see WBC-itis), although it's important to note that the WBC rejects, and is rejected by, all other denominations. They claim that God hates, while other Christian denominations teach that God loves exclusively.
People call them a hate group that opposes homosexuals. In fact, they're so much more than that. In their demented minds, everyone who isn't a member of their church is either a "fag" or "fag enabler" with absolutely no exceptions. Everyone but them is going straight to hell, and God hates everyone but them.
Not only do they celebrate and disrupt the funerals of homosexuals, but they also do the same for members of the American Military who are killed in action. The irony, of course, is that the American Military are the very reason that these asswipes have the First Amendment right to spew their disgusting hate speech everywhere, and therefore they owe the military an enormous debt of gratitude, as do we all.
People call them a hate group that opposes homosexuals. In fact, they're so much more than that. In their demented minds, everyone who isn't a member of their church is either a "fag" or "fag enabler" with absolutely no exceptions. Everyone but them is going straight to hell, and God hates everyone but them.
Not only do they celebrate and disrupt the funerals of homosexuals, but they also do the same for members of the American Military who are killed in action. The irony, of course, is that the American Military are the very reason that these asswipes have the First Amendment right to spew their disgusting hate speech everywhere, and therefore they owe the military an enormous debt of gratitude, as do we all.
The WBC is perhaps the sickest and most evil group that operates within the law in this day and age. They are a putrid, infected, cancerous pustule on our great country.
At the exact opposite end of the spectrum is the FFRF, or Freedom From Religion Foundation, who seek to ban religion, and mock those who believe. Frankly, it's a shame that we can't throw these two extremist hate groups into an arena until they all end up killing each other.
At the exact opposite end of the spectrum is the FFRF, or Freedom From Religion Foundation, who seek to ban religion, and mock those who believe. Frankly, it's a shame that we can't throw these two extremist hate groups into an arena until they all end up killing each other.
by Klopek007 March 3, 2010
A person who lives in the New York area, and often changes what pro sports teams they cheer for based on which ones are doing well. Each of the four major American sports has more than one New York area team: New York Yankees and New York Mets for baseball, New Jersey Jets and New Jersey Giants for football, New York Knicks and New Jersey Nets for basketball; and finally the New York Rangers, New York Islanders, and New Jersey Devils for hockey.
A New York sports opportunist will therefore choose to be a fan of whichever team is currently doing better in each sport. They will then act like they've always been a fan of that team, and vehemently deny ever liking another team in the same sport.
It's important to note that not ALL residents of the New York area are New York sports opportunists, but there are vast numbers of people that are.
A New York sports opportunist will therefore choose to be a fan of whichever team is currently doing better in each sport. They will then act like they've always been a fan of that team, and vehemently deny ever liking another team in the same sport.
It's important to note that not ALL residents of the New York area are New York sports opportunists, but there are vast numbers of people that are.
NYSO: I love the Yankees! I've been a die hard Yankees fan all my life!
REALIST: No you haven't. You wore a Mets hat all through the 80s, and the first half of the 90s. Then suddenly you became a Yankees fan. That makes you a New York sports opportunist.
NYSO: No way, you're just jealous because my team rules!
NYSO: Woohoo! My Giants just ended the Patriots perfect season!
REALIST: Yeah, you weren't a Giants fan until a few weeks ago. I bet you can't even name five players on the team.
NYSO: Well... there's Eli Manning, and... uh....
NYSO: Well, the Nets aren't exactly great, but I'm so glad I like them instead of the Knicks, they really suck!
REALIST: Why do you have a listing on ebay for that autographed Patrick Ewing poster that used to be on your wall for so many years?
NYSO: I have no idea what you're talking about.
NYSO: I love the Devils, but I also bought a bunch of Rangers and Islanders merchandise and buried it in my closet. You know, just in case they ever get good again.
REALIST: Stop the presses.
REALIST: No you haven't. You wore a Mets hat all through the 80s, and the first half of the 90s. Then suddenly you became a Yankees fan. That makes you a New York sports opportunist.
NYSO: No way, you're just jealous because my team rules!
NYSO: Woohoo! My Giants just ended the Patriots perfect season!
REALIST: Yeah, you weren't a Giants fan until a few weeks ago. I bet you can't even name five players on the team.
NYSO: Well... there's Eli Manning, and... uh....
NYSO: Well, the Nets aren't exactly great, but I'm so glad I like them instead of the Knicks, they really suck!
REALIST: Why do you have a listing on ebay for that autographed Patrick Ewing poster that used to be on your wall for so many years?
NYSO: I have no idea what you're talking about.
NYSO: I love the Devils, but I also bought a bunch of Rangers and Islanders merchandise and buried it in my closet. You know, just in case they ever get good again.
REALIST: Stop the presses.
by Klopek007 January 24, 2010
A concept unwittingly invented by the late Tim Russert during coverage of the 2000 U.S. Presidential Election. For details, see the individual definitions red state and blue state.
Besides the fact that the colors are the opposite of the rest of the world, the absolute most irritating thing about the red state blue state concept is how it polarizes Americans. Originally, it was only referring to the electoral college, but since then the terms have become part of popular culture. They imply that all citizens within a certain state, which is defined by arbitrary lines on a map, are all generally in agreement with each other, politically speaking.
This is of course ridiculous. Most of the time, the margin of victory in individual states in a Presidential election is not profoundly large. It's quite rare that either of the two main candidates receives less than 1/3rd of the vote in any given state. It's also quite common for a state of a certain "color" to elect other politicians from the opposite party (as mayor, governor, senate, etc.). Add to that the fact that voter turnout hasn't gone over 63% in the last 100 years, and it's easy to see how asinine it is to group together all citizens of a certain state.
Besides the fact that the colors are the opposite of the rest of the world, the absolute most irritating thing about the red state blue state concept is how it polarizes Americans. Originally, it was only referring to the electoral college, but since then the terms have become part of popular culture. They imply that all citizens within a certain state, which is defined by arbitrary lines on a map, are all generally in agreement with each other, politically speaking.
This is of course ridiculous. Most of the time, the margin of victory in individual states in a Presidential election is not profoundly large. It's quite rare that either of the two main candidates receives less than 1/3rd of the vote in any given state. It's also quite common for a state of a certain "color" to elect other politicians from the opposite party (as mayor, governor, senate, etc.). Add to that the fact that voter turnout hasn't gone over 63% in the last 100 years, and it's easy to see how asinine it is to group together all citizens of a certain state.
I despise the red state blue state concept. It damages our individual identity, our state pride, and our comradery with our fellow Americans. There are plenty of conservatives in New England, plenty of liberals in the South, and tons of moderates all over the place. I'm not from a red state or a blue state, I'm from an American state! So please stop over-generalizing and assigning labels to us!
by Klopek007 March 3, 2010
A term invented by angry atheists who suffer from anger management issues and superiority complex. It is a portmanteau of 'pugnacious' and 'atheism', although it is often mistakenly referred to as a contraction instead of a portmanteau, which should give some indication of the overall intelligence of those who say they practice it. The term means aggressive atheism, and is characterized by thinking oneself to be automatically superior to anyone who believes in any kind of religion, and feeling that it's necessary to verbally abuse such people. This is the opposite of using a "live and let live" attitude, and so they refuse to be tolerant of the life choices of others, even when those others are tolerant of the life choice of the atheist.
Hobbies of those who practice pugnatheism include, but are not limited to: making sweeping over-generalizations about various persons, groups, organizations, and even who geographic regions; complete and utter refusal to be tolerant of anyone whose beliefs or philosophies differ from your own; angrily arguing on internet forums with religious people in order to tell them how wrong and stupid they are instead of simply living your life enjoyably and letting them do the same; believing yourself to be such a brilliant genius that you know the exact nature of the universe and calculate with 100% accuracy that there couldn't possibly be anything besides what you can see with your own two eyes; and of course, practicing regular worship of Richard Dawkins.
by Klopek007 November 17, 2009
In the opening days of February 2010, a person or persons unknown started a stupid new trend on facebook and myspace that swept through like an avalanche. Countless people posted the following status: "Go to urbandictionary.com, type in your first name, copy and paste this in your status and the first entry for your name under comments."
This resulted in a huge influx of traffic on UD, which bogged down the site and crashed it a few times, because everyone thought it was so cool to post a glowing definition of their first name, which was submitted by some asswipe years ago. Of course, none of these lame first name definitions should have been approved in the first place, as per the UD guidelines which so many people ignore.
And yet, the worst was not over. After this, countless people began submitting first name definitions, which fell into two categories: glowing definitions of oneself or a friend, or slanderous definitions of an enemy. It was up to the editors to ensure the future of UD....
This resulted in a huge influx of traffic on UD, which bogged down the site and crashed it a few times, because everyone thought it was so cool to post a glowing definition of their first name, which was submitted by some asswipe years ago. Of course, none of these lame first name definitions should have been approved in the first place, as per the UD guidelines which so many people ignore.
And yet, the worst was not over. After this, countless people began submitting first name definitions, which fell into two categories: glowing definitions of oneself or a friend, or slanderous definitions of an enemy. It was up to the editors to ensure the future of UD....
Oh man, I remember staying up all night during the Great FB/MS Laming of UD Crisis of 2010, rejecting as many lame-ass self-serving first name definitions as I could. It seemed like they would never end. I only wish we could remove all the ones from years ago, but most have too many votes and are thus "too popular" to be nominated for removal.
Dumbass: OMG!!! This is soooo awesome! UD says I'm a wonderful, sexy, intelligent person! That's great, but I think I'll submit and even better and more specific one! And then a mean one about the girl that pushed me at recess today!
UD Editor: I'll reject them all. Please stop contributing to the Great FB/MS Laming of UD Crisis of 2010.
Dumbass: Noooo!!! I'm shallow and weak and I need this self-esteem boost!
Dumbass: OMG!!! This is soooo awesome! UD says I'm a wonderful, sexy, intelligent person! That's great, but I think I'll submit and even better and more specific one! And then a mean one about the girl that pushed me at recess today!
UD Editor: I'll reject them all. Please stop contributing to the Great FB/MS Laming of UD Crisis of 2010.
Dumbass: Noooo!!! I'm shallow and weak and I need this self-esteem boost!
by Klopek007 February 5, 2010