10 definitions by Kirkury

Junkman Jobber: A disheveled, non-specialized, Caucasian scab tradesman, consistently performing slipshod and ramshackle workmanship, by applying half-assed shortcuts and techniques and usage of incorrect or cheap materials, using an array of outdated, malfunctioning pawnshop or stolen tools. The junkman jobber can typically be seen driving a beat up, dented, rusted out, high-mileage, ill maintained pickup truck with “rims” haphazardly loaded with tools, materials and junk left unsecure in the bed. The inside of the junkm’n jobmobile is loaded with cigarette butts, fast food wrappers, empty cans of monster energy drink, Doritos bags, cigarette packages and vape cartridges. Some sort of generic extreme sticker or branding (MMA, tacticool, tattoo-life, beard cuture) is normally present as well. The standard attire worn to work, and all other occasions, is baggy, saggy-assed jeans with tears and paint stains, a flat billed ball cap, shitty boots, some sort of extreme logo branded t-shirt with excessively crappy tattoos showing. In winter, a flannel or hoodie is added for warmth and gangsta’ effect. (hood up with ball cap on and smoke in mouth all shady like). The JJ reverts to degenerate criminal-like white trash lifestyle the moment their “professional” day or job period ends, (stealing / scavenging materials from the jobsite), or other activities usually resulting in debt, jail-time, addiction or unwanted pregnancy. The movie AFTERMATH (2013) presents this type well.
If you want your home remodeled, do not go with junkman jobber, pay the extra money for high-quality or union craftsmanship.

My roof is leaking and its not even raining! I shouldn't have hired a junkman jobber.
by Kirkury January 21, 2022
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Being a “paint job” holds reference to a half-ass hotrod. Everyone appreciates a hot rod, right?

The “paint job” is an individual who has a flashy exterior which appeals to a specific genre, demographic or subject matter audience. Despite this, the “paint job” has the bare minimum under the hood, has a crap suspension and drivetrain, and handles and performs like a shitty ramshackle jalopy. The paint job has just enough holding it together to barely propel it to its next staging area where it can sit idle whilst people “ohh and ahh” at its look and image which implies power and honed superior performance. The paint deliberately cloaks and denies access to assess its powertrain, drivetrain and suspension.

The difference between influencers, celebrities, motivational speakers and politicians, (who are all mostly paint jobs) is that the politician is “officially” and “legally” credentialzed. This means the citizens under said political regime are expected to entrust, believe, and submit to their words, actions and beliefs as hierarchical custom. The means to credentialization is often overlooked and shrouded by additional paint job credentials.

Paint fades and is cheap heat.
Man this instagram fitness influencer really know what she's doing, she has 10000+ likes for doing calisthenic movements that mankind has done for 1000s of years!

No. She's just a paint job and has no legitimate skills or talent. You are dazzled by her appearance which will fade and expire by 30 years old.
by Kirkury August 25, 2021
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Cop Talk: An exaggeratedly wordy jargon, frequently spoken in a mono-tone passive voice. Descriptive yet extremely vague, this is used when describing a situation in order to increase the appearance of intelligence or credibility, while cloaking truth in a mountain of syllables.
The police officer is using cop talk to convince the jury that his use of force was justified.
by Kirkury October 21, 2015
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To be openly and shamelessly self-absorbed, placing yourself on a pedestal, most times undeservedly and annoyingly so. Being on your own nuts, as if you’re figuratively sucking yourself off for attention and identity-creating affirmation. Auto-hypersensationalism.
Instagram is an excellent platform to observe excessive self-jocking behavior, which reeks of desperation.
by Kirkury October 23, 2020
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The quintessential PED drugged up mental-midget, muscle douche, gym-bro or broad / fitness influencer / crossfitter / MMA fan / Joe Rogan worshipper, who advocate the use of PEDs for aesthetics, under the guise of fitness, while deflecting focus to some casual factor such as eating keto, carnivore, raw diet, or “hard work” (also made possible by PEDs) The roidtard typically gives fitness and health advice, based exclusively off of their appearance, (which would not be possible without drugs) while having no scientific or educational credibility except “bro-science”. They mourn the other roidtards’ premature drug-related or lifestyle deaths, citing how “jacked”, “fire” or inspirational the now maggot-food buffet roidtard was while alive, and using massive amounts of drugs to gain attention and false accolade, which inspres others to do the same.
Fitness influencer "Joesthetics" Lindner died of an aneurysm at 30 because he was a roidtard like Rich Piana, and every other social media muscle douche.

The culture of roidtards is self -fulfilling cycle of self-destruction.
by Kirkury September 12, 2023
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Just when you thought you’ve seen or done it all, an up-and-coming internet trend, designed exclusively for expert global social media afficionados, manifests to show the world what you’re made of.

Welcome to the SHAFTSHIFT challenge.

A challenge poster paints his or her shaft silver or grey with appropriate makeup or paint, then places an automobile stick shift boot over the painted shaft to cover up the 2 nuts secured to the bottom end of the shaft. A black colored racquetball, or the likes, is placed over the head of the shaft to completely conceal the flanged terminal as a shift knob. If installed properly, the shift knob and shift boot will leave only the silver colored shaft visually exposed. (non-discernable appendage) A gloved hand then proceeds to “run through the gears”, to the dubbed sound of an actual audio recording of a manual-transmission shift cycle. (driving or fingerless style gloves are recommended) This should start from idle and go through all available gears to the highest gear audibly discernable. If successfully accomplished, recorded and posted, this qualifies the poster to hashtag as a #shaftshift post. If equipped with a longer bus or truck style gearstick, the poster is allowed to also grip under the shift knob with a gloved second hand, in attempt to qualify for a #doubleclutch identifier as well.
I'm sick of internet girls getting all the attention with their moundpacking and cameltoe posts. I will show them up with a shaft shift they cannot even compete with!
by Kirkury May 26, 2021
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