Kirkury's definitions

flat billed ball cap

The 21st century dunce hat.

The flat billed ball cap, is the modern day dunce hat... brah.

by Kirkury May 29, 2022

Cop-speak

An exaggeratedly wordy jargon, frequently spoken in a mono-tone passive voice. Descriptive yet extremely vague, this is used when describing a situation in order to increase the appearance of intelligence or credibility, while cloaking truth in a mountain of syllables.

The police officer used cop-speak to convince the jury that the use of force was justified.

by Kirkury December 14, 2015

Junkman Jobber

Junkman Jobber: A disheveled, non-specialized, Caucasian scab tradesman, consistently performing slipshod and ramshackle workmanship, by applying half-assed shortcuts and techniques and usage of incorrect or cheap materials, using an array of outdated, malfunctioning pawnshop or stolen tools. The junkman jobber can typically be seen driving a beat up, dented, rusted out, high-mileage, ill maintained pickup truck with “rims” haphazardly loaded with tools, materials and junk left unsecure in the bed. The inside of the junkm’n jobmobile is loaded with cigarette butts, fast food wrappers, empty cans of monster energy drink, Doritos bags, cigarette packages and vape cartridges. Some sort of generic extreme sticker or branding (MMA, tacticool, tattoo-life, beard cuture) is normally present as well. The standard attire worn to work, and all other occasions, is baggy, saggy-assed jeans with tears and paint stains, a flat billed ball cap, shitty boots, some sort of extreme logo branded t-shirt with excessively crappy tattoos showing. In winter, a flannel or hoodie is added for warmth and gangsta’ effect. (hood up with ball cap on and smoke in mouth all shady like). The JJ reverts to degenerate criminal-like white trash lifestyle the moment their “professional” day or job period ends, (stealing / scavenging materials from the jobsite), or other activities usually resulting in debt, jail-time, addiction or unwanted pregnancy. The movie AFTERMATH (2013) presents this type well.

If you want your home remodeled, do not go with junkman jobber, pay the extra money for high-quality or union craftsmanship.

My roof is leaking and its not even raining! I shouldn't have hired a junkman jobber.

by Kirkury January 21, 2022