JustAnotherGuy's definitions
Not to be confused with the small elevator-like devices found in restaurants, hotels and such, "dumb-waiter" refers to the idiot - and there's always one - serving hors d'oeuvres to the bride and groom at a wedding who allows their tray to be pillaged of anything edible before they even get to the wedding party. Thus, they only have Spinach Vomit-bombs left by the time they get to the bride and groom, who wrap a bunch of these disgusting ass nuggets in a napkin to later pelt the wait staff with when no one's looking.
"Not surprisingly, the maitre d' assigned the dumb-waiter to bring hors d'oeuvres to the wedding party, and the fat shits lumbering up the front steps emptied the tray before the guy even got there."
by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010
Get the Dumb-waitermug. The result of a police officer pulling someone over for a traffic violation in Rhode Island. All the people in the state have to stop - not slow down, but fully stop - as they pass the vehicle that's been pulled over to see if it's someone they know. And thus, a single state trooper pulling over someone for speeding during rush hour can grind traffic on the interstate to a complete halt for more than fifteen minutes.
"My commute home should only take 20 minutes, but never takes less than an hour because of the Flashing-lights Brake-dance and the fact that people forget where the fuck Route 4 is every afternoon."
by JustAnotherGuy March 8, 2010
Get the Flashing-lights Brake-dancemug. People went to see Transformers 2 hoping it would take them back to their "glory days" when they watched the cartoon. Alas, Michael Bay is still a shitty director and the franchise is an insult to anyone who remembers their childhood with any fondness.
by JustAnotherGuy October 4, 2012
Get the Transformers 2mug. Mental condition wherein human beings see other human beings as filthy animals while seeing dogs as their brothers, sisters, or, most often, children. Condition may cause said persons to do the following:
- become filled with outrage when a dog is killed, even accidentally; however, when humans are killed or abused, they turn a blind eye to it.
- bring their dogs into restaurants and supermarkets and become outraged when told that their pet doesn't belong there, insisting it is "a member of their family" and that the store is discriminating against them.
- pay thousands of dollars for their pets to have treatments for cancer, but bemoan human beings "running up huge hopsital bills for their family" when trying to survive cancer.
- make hilarious statements such as "I would rather heaven was full of dogs than people," not realizing that such would mean they wouldn't be there, either.
- feed their dog from their dinner table and even let the dog take stuff right off of their plate, but get mad if someone "breaches protocol" by eating with their fingers or putting their elbows on the table.
It is important to note that Canine Dysfunction is not limited to dog owners, but can also affect the owners of any other type of house pet, both common and uncommon, in a similar fashion with regard to their animal of choice.
- become filled with outrage when a dog is killed, even accidentally; however, when humans are killed or abused, they turn a blind eye to it.
- bring their dogs into restaurants and supermarkets and become outraged when told that their pet doesn't belong there, insisting it is "a member of their family" and that the store is discriminating against them.
- pay thousands of dollars for their pets to have treatments for cancer, but bemoan human beings "running up huge hopsital bills for their family" when trying to survive cancer.
- make hilarious statements such as "I would rather heaven was full of dogs than people," not realizing that such would mean they wouldn't be there, either.
- feed their dog from their dinner table and even let the dog take stuff right off of their plate, but get mad if someone "breaches protocol" by eating with their fingers or putting their elbows on the table.
It is important to note that Canine Dysfunction is not limited to dog owners, but can also affect the owners of any other type of house pet, both common and uncommon, in a similar fashion with regard to their animal of choice.
Some woman with canine dysfunction was carrying her poodle around the grocery store and made a huge scene when she was told that only Seeing-Eye Dogs were allowed in the store. It only got more awkward when she declared that she and her "child" were leaving and would be talking to a lawyer about a discrimination suit.
by JustAnotherGuy October 16, 2012
Get the Canine Dysfunctionmug. A socio-political group that believes the best way to stamp out things like crime, unacceptable behavior, and other forms of social deviance is to legalize and/or accept everything. However, the hypocrisy of Liberals stems from their intolerance of anything that is not a liberal; i.e., they accept anything but a conservative mindset.
Examples:
1. Drug dealers will no longer be criminals if we legalize drugs, so let's do that.
2. Gays will no longer be ostracized if we legalize gay marriage, so let's do that.
3. Christians are an awfully intolerant lot; let's outlaw Christianity in public places like schools and judicial institutions.
Another political core attribute of the Liberal is to exploit demographics to gain power. This is accomplished by convincing low-income, no income, and/or non-residents (read: illegal aliens) that the rich somehow owe them something, but that the benefit comes from the Liberals and not from the rich who are actually footing the bill. So when the voting booths open, all the people who don't work for a living vote for more people who don't work for a living so that those who do work for a living can work their asses off to support useless people.
This can be seen in the government's "Section 8 Housing" program, where foreigners move to the United States with their 5 children, no husband, and are immediately set up in a free apartment with free food stamps, free health coverage, and free Cox High-Speed Internet and Digital Cable. Don't believe me? I audit Section 8 Housing for a living. I see it first hand. You, the taxpayers, are getting fucked in the ass and not even being kissed first.
Yet another important note about Liberals is that they flaunt surpluses as if the money came out of Heaven like the Manna of the Old Testament. They fail to tell you that an $80 Billion surplus doesn't mean they're frugal, it means they overcharged the taxpayers $80B. Sorry you can't pay your rent, but hey, at least there was an $80 Billion surplus so the government must be doing something right.
The final thing I'll note about Liberals is that they will get all offended by this definition, thinking it implies Conservatives are smarter and/or always right, which is purely not the case. Both sides suck in their own particular way, welcome to human nature.
Examples:
1. Drug dealers will no longer be criminals if we legalize drugs, so let's do that.
2. Gays will no longer be ostracized if we legalize gay marriage, so let's do that.
3. Christians are an awfully intolerant lot; let's outlaw Christianity in public places like schools and judicial institutions.
Another political core attribute of the Liberal is to exploit demographics to gain power. This is accomplished by convincing low-income, no income, and/or non-residents (read: illegal aliens) that the rich somehow owe them something, but that the benefit comes from the Liberals and not from the rich who are actually footing the bill. So when the voting booths open, all the people who don't work for a living vote for more people who don't work for a living so that those who do work for a living can work their asses off to support useless people.
This can be seen in the government's "Section 8 Housing" program, where foreigners move to the United States with their 5 children, no husband, and are immediately set up in a free apartment with free food stamps, free health coverage, and free Cox High-Speed Internet and Digital Cable. Don't believe me? I audit Section 8 Housing for a living. I see it first hand. You, the taxpayers, are getting fucked in the ass and not even being kissed first.
Yet another important note about Liberals is that they flaunt surpluses as if the money came out of Heaven like the Manna of the Old Testament. They fail to tell you that an $80 Billion surplus doesn't mean they're frugal, it means they overcharged the taxpayers $80B. Sorry you can't pay your rent, but hey, at least there was an $80 Billion surplus so the government must be doing something right.
The final thing I'll note about Liberals is that they will get all offended by this definition, thinking it implies Conservatives are smarter and/or always right, which is purely not the case. Both sides suck in their own particular way, welcome to human nature.
The Liberals are for Big Government, Big Taxes, Big Spending, and Big Talk. They disguise this by accusing the Conservatives of being Big Brother.
by JustAnotherGuy February 19, 2005
Get the Liberalsmug. Seagulls and welfare recipients are a lot alike...they both sit around waiting for handouts, spawn uncontrollably, and make a lot of noise that irritates the shit out of everything around them.
by JustAnotherGuy October 26, 2012
Get the Seagullsmug. Refers to "Christians" who will "Like" any picture of Jesus, because it involves almost no thought and even less effort, but who post arguments against Bible verses or in support of things that go against Biblical principles. In essence, a Facebook Christian is like a Lip-service Christian, except even worse, because a Lip-service Christian at least knows Bible verses and can talk a good game, whereas a Facebook Christian only knows how to "Like" pictures of caucasian, hippie Jesus posted by such pages as 1-800-Smak-dat-hoe and FML Daily.
Liking pictures of Jesus only makes you a Facebook Christian; you have to actually believe what the Bible says to be a Christian.
by JustAnotherGuy March 27, 2013
Get the Facebook Christianmug.